You Belong With Me
by LadyRiona
Summary: {AU} Tris Prior lives the nomadic lifestyle of a "professional convention goer", helping manage the merchandise and minute details for a band called Dauntless. As every con goer knows, there's often love, lust, drama, egos, and unrequited feelings! Especially the last one where a certain lead singer is concerned. Rated M for content and future chapters. Eventual FourTris.
1. Four

**Author's Note: So, first Divergent fic. And first time posting here in...an embarrassing amount of time. So I had this idea bloom while at a steampunk convention in May, and ran with it. This is the result. Although it might take a little while to get to anything super sexy, I am going to keep this rated M, that way someone doesn't stumble upon it, like it, but not be okay with future content. In the meantime, please enjoy.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Divergent Trilogy or anything from that universe. However, I did think of this plot.**

* * *

 **1\. Four**

The music was soft as it filled the room, the sensual beats vibrating in the air. I had stopped paying attention to it a long time ago, though, paying more attention instead to the hands that were slowly making their way down my body. Fingers trailed lightly against the fabric of my shirt before pressing into my waist, pulling me closer. I gasped a little at the feeling of my curves against his firm chest.

I almost had to pinch myself to make sure this wasn't a dream; it wasn't the first time I had imagined this moment. I was definitely awake, though; there was no way I could dream this vividly. His lips were too soft against mine, his fingers rough against the exposed skin above my waistline. Even in my most detailed dreams it had never been like this; it had never felt so good.

He murmured something against my lips before kissing me again, deeply. His other hand cupped the back of my head, guiding it back just slightly. I shivered when I felt his tongue flick against my lips once, then again, as if begging for entry. My cheeks felt warm as I parted my lips for him; a small moan escaped me as his tongue pressed against mine. How had we gotten to this point?

Before this glorious encounter, we had just been sitting on the couch, drinking and laughing, talking about something that seemed so inconsequential now. Then, suddenly he'd leaned forward to kiss me, soft at first like he wasn't sure how he'd be received. I wasn't sure if it was something I had done or not done that had encouraged him, but he'd kissed me again. Now we were reclined on the couch, his body pressing mine into the pillows.

"Tris," he whispered, lips near my ear. His exhale tickled the sensitive skin there, making me shiver. "You have no idea..." He trailed off, then pressed his lips against my jaw, nipping gently. His hand slowly moved from my waist up my body until brushing the underside of my breast. My body responded for me, pressing against his; a moan escaped him and vibrated against my skin. His palm gently cupped my breast; I pursed my lips, trying to hold back another moan.

Part of me wondered how far we were going to go with this, if he wanted to go any further with me, or if this was just a kiss to him. I really wanted to assume that it wasn't, based on how his lips were trailing down the line of my throat, but he was so unpredictable.

I pushed those thoughts away, focusing on the feelings he was giving me. My body felt warm everywhere, tingling wherever his lips and hands had touched. I could feel my heart beating faster than normal in my chest, but it felt light and fluttery. I felt like I was floating.

When he shifted, I felt something hard pressing against my leg; a blush burned my cheeks and I tried not to think more than thirty seconds ahead. That didn't stop the thoughts from rushing in my mind, reminding me that I had wanted this for so long. I couldn't stop the moan that escaped from me as I felt his hips roll against me.

Then there was laughter outside the door. My eyes flew open instantly. He sat back immediately, leaving me feeling cold in his absence against my body. The door opened, and in walked the worst distraction ever.

Laughter filled the room, drunken people stumbling in, unaware of what they had just interrupted. _Dammit_. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my heart, then looked at him. His lips were clamped together, but he wasn't looking at me, at least not right now.

"Four!" Someone shouted, falling onto the couch between us. It was Zeke, Four's best friend. "We've been wondering where you ended up!"

"I've been here," Four said, seeming entirely too calm for having just been interrupted mid-grope. "Tris and I were chatting about the show earlier." A beer was thrust into his hands and he sipped it immediately; our other drinks were probably warm by now.

My cheeks suddenly felt hot like I'd been slapped, even more than they had before everyone interrupted us. Was he ashamed of having made out with me? I'd heard him tell stories before about girls he'd made out with, rating them on a scale of awful to some risque metaphor, so he wasn't normally shy. Doubt and rejection filled my head. Was he grateful for the interruption? I couldn't help but wonder, judging by how smoothly he slipped into the conversation going on around us.

"What'd you think of the show, Tris?" Zeke asked, throwing his arm around my shoulders and yanking me close. He smelled like a bar and I knew he would be passed out in about forty-five minutes...or puking up all the liquor he'd drunk.

I forced my lips into a smile. "It was great, obviously. You guys are always great." It was a cop-out answer, but I couldn't think of anything else to say. I was too preoccupied with the thoughts swirling in my head while trying to push away the feelings from earlier.

The lameness of my response washed right over Zeke's head as he just laughed and nodded, seemingly pleased by my response. He let go of me after a minute and I took a deep breath to clear the smell of liquor out of my nostrils. "After those technical difficulties, we were golden," he said, then took a long pull from the drink in his hands.

I pressed my lips together in a thin line and frowned a little. There was an empty feeling in me now; after wanting Four for so long and getting just a taste - literally - I wanted more. He wouldn't even look at me now. What else was I supposed to think, except that he might be regretting it?

It took some effort, but I pushed up to my feet and smoothed out my top; it had gotten a little rumpled around my waistline. I almost made it to the door before someone grabbed my arm. "Leaving already, Tris?" Shauna asked, smiling at me. She didn't seem too drunk, but she was definitely a little glassy-eyed.

I nodded a little. "Yeah, I'm tired," I lied. Really, I just wanted to go cry in my own hotel room, and if I didn't get out of here soon the tears would start before I could safely make it there.

"Everyone tell Tris goodnight!" Shauna yelled, pulling me into a hug. Her breasts squished against me, trapping one arm against my side.

Everyone stopped mid-sentence to wave at me, joining in a chorus of "Good nights!" in various drunken states. I managed to smile at them a little; I did not look at Four, even though I could feel his eyes on me.

When I finally extricated myself from Shauna's grasp, I stepped out into the hallway, taking a deep breath. It was nearly two in the morning, but there were parties still going on in full force on every floor. Laughter floated up from the bar in the open atrium, mixing with the sounds from the hotel rooms and the fountain in the center. Focusing on those noises helped me make the trip to my hotel room on the opposite end of the floor without incident. The trek there seemed to take much longer than it had earlier when I was walking with Four to his room, but I made it eventually. My eyes were just beginning to well up and I prayed that my roommate, Christina, was not there. I didn't think I could explain this quite yet.

Thankfully, the hotel room was empty when I let myself in. The television was on a random comedy channel; some raunchy act was up, telling sex jokes. I frowned to myself and hurried into the bedroom, tears already streaming down my face.

It wasn't fair. As childish as that sounded, it was the truth, and it had me feeling like someone was squeezing my heart over and over again.

I fell asleep on my tear-soaked pillow, the shudders from my body almost rocking me to sleep.

* * *

I've known Tobias "Four" Eaton for a little over two years. I met him at a convention when I was seventeen after seeing one of his shows for the first time. I'd instantly fallen in love with his music and the passion with which he sang on the stage. After the show, he'd been at the merchandise table signing CDs and laughing with his fans. Christina, who had already turned 18, had planned to ask him to sign her boobs.

Four was just that type of guy: the kind who could make someone want to utilize any excuse they could come up with for him to touch them... _anywhere_. Back then he'd had short hair, cropped close to his scalp. He was a typical twenty year old, enjoying the attention from all the girls flocking to the booth. When we'd reached the front of the line, I'd been immediately amazed at how blue his eyes were as he looked at us.

"Enjoy the show?" he'd asked, smiling.

"This was her first time!" Christina had never been good at setting her volume to "inside voice".

A wry smile had crossed his face as he eyed me up and down. "What'd you think? Enjoy your first time?"

I had just nodded, feeling myself blushing at the way his eyes had perused my body. "It was awesome."

After some brief conversation, during which Christina had obviously adjusted her cleavage at least twelve times beside me and I purchased all of his CDs - he signed them all - he had leaned forward over the table a little. We had automatically leaned in closer to hear him.

"Tell you what," he had murmured, looking at us, though it felt like his eyes stayed on me longer than on Christina's breasts, "I'd love to hear your opinion in greater detail since you're a new listener and find out what you thought of the show; come back in like thirty minutes, will you?"

Of course we had agreed, returning five minutes early. We'd chatted there for a few minutes before being invited back to the hotel party. It had been a crazy party, but Four had ensured that we weren't bothered too much by his rowdy friends and bandmates.

From then on, I'd regularly corresponded with him via social media, keeping in touch and eventually becoming friends. When I'd turned eighteen a few weeks later, he'd sent me a song to commemorate the milestone and invited me and Christina out to tour with his band for the summer.

Then, Christina slept with him one drunken night. I'd felt betrayed at first, but then thought that maybe he'd invited us out because of her. I didn't know what kind of conversations they had, if they even talked.

He'd offered us jobs at the end of the summer, after traveling to a few conventions with him; Christina had stayed with him in the bedroom while I slept on the sofa bed. We'd accepted the jobs and started traveling with him full time, working the booth and sales, keeping things managed and organized. We both started online classes that fall, a peace offering to our parents to try and appease them over the upset our change in lifestyles had caused.

Two years and a stupid amount of conventions later, we were all best friends and I had a degree in graphic design. Four had stopped sleeping with Christina shortly after we'd started traveling, but he never seemed to lack for a short-term girlfriend for very long. I tried to ignore the twisting feeling in my gut for the first few months, until it didn't hurt quite as much anymore.

There was no denying my attraction to him. Despite his string of relationships that never seemed to last long, he was a wonderful guy who made everyone around him laugh, and he sang the most beautiful music from his soul. It became easy to overlook the numerous girls I saw over the course of the time we traveled together and simply be his friend.

It still didn't change the longing I felt toward him, fueled by the meaningful looks he would give me and the time we spent together, just us, before shows or between conventions.

I was twenty the night the kiss happened. We had been alone in the hotel room for an hour or two after the show, talking and laughing. The feelings that had flared up in me, the ones that had been burning inside me like embers for so long, were suddenly in full flame and consuming me from within.

His rejection had stung.

It was now the next morning. My head hurt from crying and I was sure I looked like hell. Christina was passed out on the other bed, one arm covering her eyes, her mouth slightly open. I didn't waste time getting into the shower, hoping to at least make myself look like I hadn't been crying.

When I checked my phone for the first time since the previous night, there were numerous text messages from some of the acquaintances I'd made over the last two years, inviting me to hotel parties or sharing moments with me. Then there was a text from Four. It was just an emoticon.

":/"

I pursed my lips and set the phone down on the slick marble counter. What did that even mean? Had he sent that in hopes that I would reply and he could tell me it was a mistake to have kissed me? Had he been going to say something like, "I like you too much as a friend," which I'd heard was one of his lines?

I ignored the message and wondered how I was going to face him today. I didn't think I could; how would I handle it if he looked at me in pity for last night?

The background of me and Christina greeted me on my laptop as I opened the screen. It had been taken a few months ago in California when we'd managed to sneak off to Monterey and hang at the beach for most of the day. I couldn't help the smile that curled up my lips at that memory. It had been a good day.

When I opened my inbox, I was actually happy to see numerous emails in my "work" folder. There were at least ten commission requests there, asking me to design websites and logos. Maybe this could be my excuse to not see him today? 'Sorry, Four, I have too much work to do to hang out, but I can sell your shit at your booth later, okay'? That would work, right?

Christina came out a few minutes later, rubbing her eyes as she peered at me through a squinted gaze. "Why is it morning already?" she asked, her voice rough from sleep and probably from drinking, too.

It was a rhetorical question, one I would usually answer anyway just to irritate her. When I remained silent, pretending to read my emails, Christina turned to me after getting the coffee pot ready.

"What's wrong?" she asked, fixing me with a surprisingly alert gaze.

I pursed my lips and didn't look up at her. I didn't really want to tell her that I'd kissed Four last night and that it had been the best kiss I'd ever had. Christina made it difficult to keep secrets from her, though. She had a way of getting the truth out of me, somehow, without me realizing what she was doing. I prayed now that she wouldn't use whatever magical tactics she had.

"Nothing," I lied. "I just have a ton of commission requests is all." I tried to sound nonchalant and clicked my mouse a few times for show, though I wasn't actually doing anything but staring at the screen.

Christina grabbed her cup of coffee and sat on the couch beside me. "Liar. You know better," she grumbled and blew on the cup between her palms. "You should just tell me now; it'll be easier for both of us in the end."

I ignored her comment and opened up Photoshop to work on one of the logo designs for a steampunk client who wanted something with a phoenix. It wouldn't take me long to digitize their scanned drawing, but it was something that required my focused attention. Hopefully, she'd drop it for now.

Surprisingly, Christina was quiet for a few minutes, just sipping her coffee. She turned on the television and immediately tuned in to the Saturday morning cartoons. I was just beginning to think she'd forgotten about it, or was at least not asking at the moment, when she put the show on mute. "Tris," she murmured; she wasn't looking up at me. "I know when something is bothering you, and this seems serious. What is it?"

I sighed, knowing I wouldn't be able to keep this from her at all. Then I realized I didn't even really want to try, I wanted to tell her. I set my laptop aside and bit my lip, looking up at her. Heat pricked at my eyes and I hoped I wouldn't cry; I'd cried so much last night that I didn't think I'd have any tears left.

"So," I murmured, looking down. Christina angled her body toward me, cartoons forgotten. "How do I start this? I don't even know what to say." I leaned my head back and looked at the ceiling, hoping the moisture already pooling in my eyes would dry up quickly.

"Just tell me," Christina insisted. "If I need it, you can give me back story. I just need to know what's wrong right now."

I deliberated for a moment. What would she say? Would she be happy for me? Or would she frown in disapproval? Because she'd slept with him for a little while, would she say he was no good for me? Would she encourage me to figure out what the hell his simple text message meant? Or would she think the same thing I did?

Finally, I just blurted it out. "I made out with Four last night." The words were just suddenly there on my tongue and spilled out, unable to be taken back.

Christina was silent at first, not something that generally happened very often. She almost always had a response for everything, sarcastic or serious. Right now, she was just looking at me, her expression inscrutable. Then she blinked a little bit and looked confused. "And why are you upset about this?" She wanted to know. "I mean, he's an amazing kisser."

I sighed. "Yeah, he is. But..."

"But?" She pressed, scooting forward. The coffee in her cup nearly sloshed over the edge as she bounced closer.

"But we were interrupted."

She winced. "Ooh. Who's the asshole who barged in? Did they catch you guys?" It was common for Four to have a girl in his room, whether she was the official flavor of the month or not.

I shook my head. "No, that's the thing. I would have _preferred_ to be caught kissing him," I explained. As crazy as it was, that was the truth. "Much better than what actually happened."

Christina quirked an eyebrow at me. "What actually happened?"

"It was Zeke, Shauna, and a bunch of others. As soon as they were in the room, he was suddenly on the other side of the couch and wouldn't look at me for the rest of the night!" I exclaimed, feeling a surge of anger well up in me. "Then he sent me this stupid text message that just had a face-" I showed her the message "-like what the hell is that even supposed to mean?" I was on a roll now, the words flying out of my mouth like word vomit. "The only thing I can think of is that he was embarrassed to kiss me and didn't want to get caught doing it, and he wanted to say it was stupid to have done it." I frowned at my phone, contemplating turning it off so I couldn't look at the stupid message. Or maybe I'd just delete it.

Again, Christina was quiet for a moment. "Want me to ask him?" she offered.

Immediately, I paled. "Hell no," I replied, quickly. "Absolutely not. The last thing I want is for him to feel bad for me." I took a deep breath, looking down at my lap.

"You don't want to know what he thought about it?" Christina murmured, leaning in closely. She put her hand on my knee, squeezing gently. "You wouldn't want to know if it _wasn't_ a mistake?"

Then I looked up at her. It had crossed my mind once or twice that maybe he had liked it, and he had reacted that way for a reason other than embarrassment over being seen with me. Still, there was just too much pointing to him not wanting to be caught kissing _me_.

Slowly, I shook my head. "No. I don't want to know," I said quietly.

Christina just nodded at me, pursing her lips. I knew she was disappointed, that she wanted to know for my sake, but also knew she would respect my wishes. After all, she knew how I felt about him, and how long I'd had feelings for him.

"Did you guys just kiss?" she asked after a moment, obviously wanting details.

I bit my lip, wondering if I could actually talk about it and not start crying again. "Mostly," I murmured. "There was some groping going on." I tried not to think about the way his hands felt on my skin or how he had gently squeezed my breast.

"Would you kiss him again?" she asked. Then she quickly added, "I mean, given the chance and all."

There was the rub. Would I? If he had actually enjoyed the kiss and wasn't embarrassed about it, would he want to kiss me again? Would I let him?

"I think so," I murmured, and it was the truth.


	2. Two Years Later

**Author's Note: Yay thank you guys for the reviews, follows, and favorites. That made me super happy. :) I just wish I could have replied to you guys personally. So, some quick important stuff. I can start posting chapters semi-frequently, but I've never been much of a "multiple chapters in one day" kinda girl... I'm just posting two in one week to reel you guys in. Muahahahaha.**

 **And as a reminder, this is AU. There WILL be some OOC-ness going on. Someone mentioned they were upset about Four sleeping with Christina; well, Four's a bit of a manwhore in this story. Sorry-not-sorry.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the Divergent Trilogy universe, but I did think of this plot.**

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 **2\. Two Years Later**

"Oh my God," Christina groaned as she stepped out of the car, stretching.

I joined her, getting to my feet after climbing from behind the steering wheel. "Holy crap," I murmured, feeling the glorious burn from stretching out my legs at last. "That was the longest five hours of my life, I think."

When I turned around, Christina was leaning on the car, her arms on the roof. "Who are you telling?" she laughed, then turned to pull one leg up to her butt. "I think if we had driven for much longer my ass was going to start shrinking."

I laughed a little, too, and stretched out my back. We'd just driven from Baton Rouge to Austin, which was almost a six hour drive. There was a convention scheduled here over the weekend, a fantasy one, and Four had been invited out to be a musical guest. This was his first time in Austin, so it was kind of a big deal. There was talk about a huge party after his show on Saturday to celebrate.

It was also my first con in a few months. I had taken a break for a little while, for various reasons. Still, Four had paid for my flight from Chicago to Baton Rouge to meet up with Christina. We'd rented a car there and pressed on, driving almost through the night to get here. I was exhausted.

"Want to text Four to let him know we're here?" Christina asked, then disappeared into the car again to grab her purse.

I pulled my lower lip between my teeth. I hadn't really talked to Four while I was away, not more than a few text messages. After that kiss two years ago, it had taken a few days before things returned to normal between us. Normal for us meant I still wanted him and he acted like a massive tease, giving me looks that were just a little longer than was strictly polite for friends, obviously touching my fingers when he took something from me, and making a point to have drinks with me at the hotel bars at least once over the weekend.

That was part of why I had to take a break. It just became too much to deal with; he knew how I felt about him, especially after that kiss. Despite that knowledge, every few weeks he still paraded different girls in front of everyone before depositing them somewhere when he was done with them, never to be heard from again. Sometimes I wondered if he even remembered kissing me that night in the hotel room, if it ever crossed his mind. I thought about it at an almost unhealthy rate, even now.

"Well?" Christina pressed when she stood back up, her purse and a duffel bag over her shoulders.

"Okay," I murmured, then pulled my phone from my pocket. He wasn't even in my recent text messages; that's how long it had been since we'd talked. Wow.

 _Christina and I just made it. In the parking lot,_ I typed. My thumb hovered over the send button for a moment before I pressed it. Stupid. Why was I so anxious about texting him? It really wasn't a huge deal.

"Sent," I said, trying to smile. Had I changed any in the six or so months since I last saw him? Would he be happy to see me, or would it be just like normal, like I'd been traveling with them all along?

"Sweet. Pop the trunk, would you?" Christina started to head around to the back of the car.

As I hit the button on the inside of the car, my phone buzzed in my hand. I looked at the new message.

 _Looking forward to seeing you again. Meet you at check-in_. Then, :).

I didn't reply. I just went around to the trunk with Christina and hefted out my rolling bag. Normally, I packed light, but this time I had a second small bag, mostly for toiletries and the like. I'd packed a costume or two for the weekend, seeing as it was a fantasy convention and Four liked for us to be flashy at his booth.

With all of our stuff unloaded, Christina and I headed toward the front door of the hotel. "God, I'm glad you're back," she said suddenly, bumping my shoulder. "You have no idea what it was like without you!"

I just smiled, then looked over at her briefly. "Oh, yeah? Did Zeke run around naked in the halls again or something?" I asked, grinning at the memory of a drunk Zeke making it halfway across the hallway before Al, the sound guy, tackled him. Zeke had complained of carpet burn in some _tender_ areas for the next few days.

Christina just shook her head. "No, actually, he was fine. It was mostly Four," she replied. "He was pretty insufferable and moodier than usual for a while." We were coming up to the doors now, and they whooshed open when we hit the sensor.

"Really?" I was a little shocked. Four could be kind of capricious at times, but if he'd been really moody, that was a surprise.

"Yeah," Christina said as we entered the lobby. "He's been a little better, though, but I think it's because-"

"Hey!" A shout at the check-in desk interrupted Christina's explanation. We both looked up to see Four there, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, no shoes, looking like he was king of the castle. His brown hair was disheveled, like he'd just woken up a few minutes ago. There was also a petite blonde leaning against the desk, lips pursed in disapproval. He pulled Christina into a quick hug then looked at me. "It's good to see you again."

Then he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me tight against his chest. My arms naturally went around his shoulders, like always, but this hug was different. I could feel his face against my hair, hear his inhale. His fingers pressed into my back as he held me even tighter against him. I found myself closing my eyes, enjoying the feeling of familiarity from being around this man again. Tears pricked my eyes a little and I squeezed my lids even tighter to keep them from escaping. I had missed him so much.

Someone cleared their throat, ending the moment. Four let me go after a moment from the too-long hug, trailing his fingers down my arm for a moment before stepping back, putting his hands in his pockets. He backed up a little more to the blonde, who I assumed was the throat-clearer.

"Let me get your room settled," he said to me and Christina, glancing at the blonde a little guiltily, before turning to the woman at the desk.

I looked at the blonde for a moment, and smiled a little; she just stared at me, brown eyes devoid of expression. Maybe she'd just woken up, too. It was pretty early, and the convention officially started tomorrow, so there weren't a lot of people around the hotel yet.

Feeling awkward under her stare, I turned to Christina, hoping for one of her smiles. She was also staring at the blonde, and she did not look amused. I was guessing that she was Four's flavor of the month, but something about Christina's sudden behavior told me something was different about her. I swallowed, hard, wondering what it was.

When Four turned around again, he had two keycards. He smiled at the blonde briefly, then looked at me and Christina. "Ready? You're next door to us," he said, and started to head toward the elevators.

Christina and I followed them, intending to stay behind a few paces, but Four had a different idea. He slowed his pace until he was beside us and the four of us were walking in a line, not an easy thing to do in a hotel.

"How was the trip?" he asked, glancing at me.

I looked at him, then past him at the blonde for a moment, wondering when we would be introduced. "It was fine. The flight was a little early, so that was nice. Thank you, by the way," I smiled a little. I couldn't remember if I'd properly thanked him for buying my ticket.

"Of course, Tris." He just smiled back at me.

At the elevator, Christina hit the button and stepped back a little. "The drive was hella long, though," she commented. "I thought my legs were going to fall asleep." She paused then looked at the blonde. "By the way, 'Hi Marina.'" She waved obnoxiously at the blonde.

"Oh, shit, sorry." Four smacked his forehead. "Marina, this is Tris; she started working with us, what, like four years ago?" He looked to me for confirmation; I nodded. "Jesus, already four years. Anyways, she works the merch table and keeps everything organized."

Christina chimed in. "Yeah, which is why it's been a disaster for the last six months," she added, nudging me.

Four just chuckled. "Tris," he gestured back over to Marina, "this is Marina, my girlfriend." I wasn't sure if I was imagining it, but I thought I saw a hint of shame, or something like it, on his face.

That made me flinch a little. Girlfriend? He never labeled his girls; we all just figured out that they were banging, referred to them as some flavor based on their physical appearance, and made sure they didn't steal anything when he left them somewhere three to four weeks later. To hear him actually use the word made me concerned. What the hell had happened while I was gone?

I cleared my throat and held out my hand to her. "Nice to meet you, Marina," I said, trying to sound pleasant though I was actually feeling like a black hole was sucking on my soul.

Marina reached out and limply grasped my fingers for all of one second, offering up something that might have been intended as a smile. I thought it looked more like a sneer. "Pleasure," she mumbled. Her arms crossed over her chest and she just stared at the elevator.

Then the elevator dinged, rescuing us from at least this instance of uncomfortable silence. We all filed in and went to the top floor. The elevator ride was quiet, only punctuated by the dings indicating the passing floors. I looked at Christina, cut my glance over to the corner where Marina was, then back at my friend, a silent, _What the hell?_ She just shrugged at me a little, looking helpless.

When the doors slid open again, the palpable awkwardness followed us out into the hallway as we followed Four to our room. He glanced at me over his shoulder, smiling a little, almost like he was making sure I was still here.

Ours was room 839. Four opened the door for us, letting me and Christina file in wordlessly. It looked like every other hotel room we'd ever stayed in: couch with a foldout bed, a small "dining table", sink, microwave, mini fridge, television. There were two queen beds, as per usual for us, in a separate area of the room. Christina immediately went back there to drop her bags on a bed.

"I have to pee so bad!" she called out as she disappeared into the bathroom.

I chuckled a little and looked over at Four; he was rolling his eyes with a wry grin on his face. This was normal Christina, inappropriate to a loveable fault.

Four turned toward Marina and placed his hand on her arm. "Want to go to make some coffee?" he asked softly. "I'm going to get them settled, okay?"

Marina glanced at me for a second, scowling a little, before shrugging. "Fine," she murmured. I had yet to hear her speak more than a one-word answer. She started to leave but Four leaned in to kiss her quickly. I ignored the twinge that caused.

When she was gone, Four looked at me almost shyly, like he might have been embarrassed. Or ashamed.

"So, girlfriend," I said, addressing the elephant in the room. I leaned against the wall, not ready to sit down yet.

There was something definitely akin to shame on his face as he nodded his head. "Yeah," he answered, sheepish. "Weird, huh? We've been dating for...five months?"

I just nodded and went to the sink to fix a glass of water. "She seems...nice," I ventured. "Tired this early, I guess?"

When I turned around, there was a frown on his face that told me she wasn't just tired. "Something like that." He looked like there was more he wanted to say, but wouldn't, or couldn't.

"So you guys are, like, official then." It was definitely more of a statement. "That's cool." I sipped the water, slowly building up my wall again. It was going to be painful to be around him for a while, especially after the sparks from that hug.

Four nodded his head a little. "Yeah. It was her idea for the labels. Said she didn't like being confused with all the other girls," he informed me.

I held up my hands. "No need to explain to me," I told him, not really wanting to hear more about her anyway. I was sure Christina would carry on about her later.

He gave me an awkward, apologetic look for a moment, then pulled something out of his pocket. "Here are your breakfast and drink vouchers," he said, "and your room keys." He set them on the table, all in a neat little stack, and gently pushed them closer to me.

"Thanks." This time, I smiled for real at him. That seemed to reassure him a little, because his shoulders relaxed slightly.

I set my glass down lightly and just looked at him for a moment, taking in his form. He looked a little thinner than when I'd seen him last, his hair a little shaggier like it hadn't been cut in a while, but that was about it for physical changes. Still, there was something different about him on a deeper level, something I couldn't quite figure out.

His voice interrupted my musings. "How's your mom?" he asked, leaning on the table.

I nodded, pleased at his question. "She's doing all right; out of the rehab now, thankfully." My mom had been the main reason for my break. She'd had a stroke six months earlier and nearly died. Even after being treated in the hospital, things had been touch and go with her for a while. Eventually, they'd fixed all the problems that they could, prescribing weeks of rehab. Still, she would never be the same again as there had been damage to her brain. The only reason I hadn't quit working for Four completely was because my brother, Caleb, was there with our father to take care of our mother. Also, Four had continued to pay me during my absence and had refused to stop. "I'm assuming Christina kept you updated?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, she did," he answered, bobbing his head a little more.

"Good." I nodded a little bit, too, and then reached for my bag.

Four suddenly stretched his hand out, his rough palm covering mine. When I looked up at him, he was pursing his lips as he watched me. "Listen, Tris," he said quietly, "I'm really glad you're back. Things weren't the same without you." He paused, chewing his lip for a moment; he had to have picked that up from me. "I really missed you."

I could feel a blush working its way up my cheeks at his confession. "I missed you, too," I replied quietly, looking down at our hands. My skin was pale, looking even more so next to his tanned flesh.

"I want to take you to dinner one night," he offered, insistent, "so we can catch up, okay?"

It was my turn to chew my bottom lip. "Won't that make Marina feel awkward, listening to us talk all night?" I hadn't meant to sound catty, but it still came out that way.

Four's eyes hardened for a moment before he shook his head. "Just us. I want to hear how you've been, without distractions," he murmured. His gaze softened again as he looked at me. "Tris, I just want you to know that I've made mistakes-"

I straightened suddenly, like I'd been jolted by electricity, and pulled my hand out from under his, fingers gripping the handle of my bag. "I'm kind of tired," I interrupted. I did not want to hear his next words; I hadn't wanted to hear them for the last two years. I wasn't going to hear them now.

He mimicked my posture, standing back defensively. His hands went into his pockets and he nodded, looking a little hurt. "Right," he murmured, looking down at the carpet for a moment. "Long trip and all."

"Yeah," I replied softly. Then we were silent, tension growing between us. I didn't want that; I wanted things to go back to how they had been, or at least close to it. "We all having dinner in the lobby tonight?" At this point, I was grasping at straws, trying to find anything to smooth out this wrinkle.

My question seemed to perk him up a little bit. He smiled at me and nodded. "Yeah, drinks at six, dinner after," he told me, looking happy I had asked.

"Great," I said, smiling a little bit. "I'll see you then."

"See you." He gave a little wave as he exited the room, going to the one next door.

Christina appeared suddenly, almost as soon as the door shut. "Well," she announced, " _that_ was awkward."

* * *

Christina laughed as she fell back onto the bed, bouncing a few times. I sat on the bed opposite her, laughing with her.

"And then all I heard after I walked out was, 'Holy shit, that's not a penis, that's an Italian sausage!'" She erupted into another fit of laughter.

I gasped, shocked. "Oh my God!" I exclaimed, covering my mouth. "That's disgusting! Oh my God!" I couldn't wipe away the appalled look on my face at the unwanted visual.

After a moment, Christina composed herself and sat up from her imitation of one of our fellow con-goers. "So yeah, who knew he was hung like that, huh?" She chortled a little more at the memory, then shook her head.

I mirrored her movement, sighing. "I try not to think about the size of the men's dicks around here," I said. "Some of them advertise it in their personality, anyway." We both laughed again for a few moments before sobering.

Christina spoke first. "So, Marina's a real winner, huh?" She scooted closer to the edge of the bed to face me.

I just raised my eyebrows and shrugged. "Seems like it," I murmured, then clasped my hands in my lap.

"Don't you want to know about all that?" she asked, looking like she might burst if she wasn't able to tell me.

My shoulders lifted again in another shrug. "You're going to tell me anyway," I said, leaning back on my hands now. I didn't want her to see them tighten when she started talking.

"You know me so well!" she exclaimed, drawing her legs up onto the bed under her. "So. Jesus, she's awful, Tris. I don't know what he sees in her, really."

"Christina-"

"Right, sorry." She gave me a sorry-not-sorry smile then continued. "So, you'd been gone for like a month when she suddenly started appearing everywhere; apparently, she had been working for a corset vendor up until a few weeks ago, but she 'left'-" She made air quotes around that word "-after some dispute over products. But when Four met her, she was still working for them and she offered to help promote his show when they were at the same convention-"

I couldn't help myself as I followed her trend of air quotes and repeated her, "'Promote'."

Christina chuckled a little and nodded. "Exactly. Then she was at all the parties and stuff and we started calling her Tonga vanilla ice cream-"

"What the hell?" It was my turn to laugh. "What is that even?"

She continued to laugh, a little harder this time. "You know that ice cream that Four likes? It's like earthy with figs and raisins." I nodded; it was pretty good. "Then ice cream cause she's cold-hearted."

I nodded in understanding this time. "Oh! So, cold-hearted bitch, gotcha!" We erupted into a fit of giggles for a few moments.

"Exactly," Christina eventually said. "So, it became pretty obvious when they started sleeping together; she's not exactly quiet. It honestly sounds fake to me." She took a deep breath. "Like, he's good and all, but he's not _that_ good, you know what I mean?"

I shrugged a little. I'd slept with a few guys, sure, but I could count them on one hand, so I wasn't exactly able to compare much. I mostly lived vicariously through Christina's stories about her midnight trysts, but in my own limited experience, too much noise did sound forced. I tried not to think about what Marina might sound like in bed.

"Anyways," Christina went on, "that's pretty much it. About a month ago, around the same time she got canned from the corset vendor is when she told Four she was tired of being named after some ice cream and insisted on the labels 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend'." She paused, grinning mischievously at me. "Doesn't stop us, though. She's still a cold-hearted bitch."

A frown set on my lips. "Why does he even keep her around?" I wondered aloud. "I mean, what's so different about her that she's lasted for so long?" Again, it was no secret that his relationships, and calling them that was being more than kind, were extremely short-lived.

Christina shook her head and rolled her eyes. "No clue! Like I was saying earlier, he was really miserable while you were gone." She paused, looking at me meaningfully. "I think he really missed you, Tris. You're really important to him."

I felt a blush creeping up my neck and onto my cheeks. I didn't think I was _that_ important to him; to say that he was miserable in my absence seemed to say a lot about our friendship. Sure, we did spend a lot of time together, exploring cities when we had time, but it had really just been to pass the time, right? He hung out with his band mates and everyone else just as frequently, or so I thought.

"I think he just missed how organized I kept things," I muttered, trying to defuse the moment. There had to be another explanation for why he'd apparently been moody in my absence. Maybe sales had been really bad, or he'd lost a piece of gear? There was no way that _I_ was the reason.

Christina rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Tris." There was a little exasperation in her voice, but I ignored it. She was opinionated. "You really don't give yourself enough credit."

I sighed a little, looking around the room. When my eyes fell on the clock, I stood. It was about five. "I want to get a shower before dinner," I told her, putting an end to the conversation. I was done hearing about how sure she was his misery was due to my absence. Four and I were friends. Sure, I was probably in love with him, but I was just happy to be his friend.

For now.


	3. Eric

**Author's Note: Thank you all again for the reviews and your kind words. I'm hoping to continue to please with this story. Specifically to the reviewer who left me the nice long spiel, I love that you said that. :) I just do. I also happen to agree. Anyways, enjoy the update. I'll try to keep going in a timely manner for now, but I'm going to have to write a LOT to get enough chapters to sustain this, AND while I'm in boot camp. But in the meantime...**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the Divergent Trilogy, but I did think of this plot...**

* * *

 **3\. Eric**

When Christina and I walked out of our room, we saw someone else entering the hallway from a few doors down. When I first saw him, my heart skipped a beat, though I recovered quickly. I glanced at Christina, who crowded close to me so she was on one side of me and the railing was on the other. We followed him to the elevator, so far undetected, but there was really no way to avoid him without actually holding back and letting him go in the elevator without us. Unfortunately, we were all headed to the same place; I'd rather get it over with now, instead of in front of Four. With how he'd been acting, who could say how he'd respond to what I knew would be an interesting reunion?

When we reached the elevators, we stayed a few paces back, but he still saw us. Close-cropped blond hair, tattoos, and facial piercings all assaulted my vision as Eric's eyes settled on me. His gaze perused my body, slowly, like he was undressing me. I suddenly felt self-conscious about the top I'd chosen: how it accentuated what little breasts I had, and how tight my jeans were around my thighs. I wanted to cover myself from his gaze, but I refused to appear weak in front of him. It was what he wanted.

"Good to see you, Stiff," Eric purred at me, not bothering to even use my real name. He'd branded me with the nickname 'Stiff' shortly after I'd started working with Four, apparently because I was really stiff at the parties, not interested in taking advantage of any of the "free fun" offered to me.

"Eric," I mumbled, resisting the urge to give in to any of my nervous habits like biting my lips or playing with the seam of my pants.

"Have a nice vacation?" He crossed his arms over his chest briefly before the elevator arrived; I had no choice but to follow him in there now. Christina stayed by my side.

Calmly, I took a deep breath. "It wasn't really a vacation," I answered. "My mom was in the hospital." Not that he would care about my explanation.

The elevator dinged for the next floor. "Oh, a mommy's girl; that's so sweet." He gave me a mocking smile, the piercings in his lip pulling on the skin.

I ignored him; he wasn't worth getting upset over, and it wasn't worth taking the time to explain everything that had happened while I was away. I just kept hoping for the elevator to arrive at the lobby sooner than was actually possible.

When the doors finally slid open, Christina yanked me out with her; she was aware of the checkered history between me and Eric, and if she wasn't so small, I was sure she would have tried to hit him.

Eric caught my arm, tugging us back to walk at his pace. "In a hurry, Stiff?" I pulled my arm out of his, not bothering to hide my glare now.

"Piss off, Eric," Christina spat at him, pulling me away from him.

"I just thought we could walk together, since we are going to the same place, after all." He feigned being hurt. "Unless you're in a hurry to see someone." A knowing expression crossed his face as he looked at me.

I was quiet the rest of the walk to the bar; it wasn't very far, thankfully. Eric knew what to say to get under my skin, for sure. It was usually better for me to just keep my mouth shut around him, but sometimes I had a hard time doing that. If anyone could make me angry in just a few short seconds, it was definitely him.

When we reached the bar, I looked at all the faces I hadn't seen in months. When they caught sight of us, cheers erupted and people began pointing at me. A blush rose up in my cheeks at the attention. Uriah was there with his girlfriend, Marlene, and Zeke was with Shauna. Will and Al were at a corner of the bar with two empty spots near them. Then there was Peter, by himself in a corner of the room. I tried not to look at him.

Finally, I saw Four. He was near Zeke, and he was watching me. There was a slight frown on his face as he saw me next to Eric; what did he think our arrival together meant? Christina was also with me, so it wasn't like Eric and I had intentionally shown up _together_ , but there was no way of telling what he might have been assuming.

Still, I smiled a little at him and waved. The corners of his mouth lifted just slightly and he raised his beer at me.

Christina led me toward Will and Al, away from Eric, and pushed me up onto a barstool. She sat beside Will; I could only assume from her familiarity with his leg that they were currently together again. They occasionally had breaks, usually when Christina was feeling tied down. Their breaks never lasted long.

"Get this girl a white Russian!" Will called to the bartender, pointing to me.

I just laughed a little, knowing it was useless to try to fend off the probable storm of drinks coming my way. As we all talked and laughed over the next half-hour, everyone made a point of saying something about how happy they were to see me again and how glad they were that I was back.

When Peter came by, I had a similar creepy feeling to when Eric was nearby, but I pushed it away. I was already feeling a little lightheaded from the two drinks I'd had. Yeah, I was a total lightweight.

"How's it going, Stiff?" Peter asked in his usual, irritating tone of voice. He had adopted Eric's nickname for me, too.

I turned to him and forced a smile. "Great," I managed and sipped my drink. Peter, unfortunately, was on the extremely short list of guys I had slept with; it had been early on during my time working with Four. Peter was one of Eric's friends, and he'd seemed something akin to 'charming' in a way that had turned out to be one huge lie, at least after the first few times we'd slept together. I'd ended things between us since he was a total jackass who was borderline abusive to everyone around him and actually abusive to me. Afterward, he'd been pissed and told me he had nudes of me that he would publish. Zeke and Uriah found out, probably thanks to Christina, and within a day or two, I heard that all traces of the pictures were gone. I wasn't sure how they had worked that magic, nor did I want to know to what lengths they'd gone to find their locations; I was just happy they had helped me out.

The moral of that story was: don't date assholes, and don't let them take nudes of you. Seriously.

"I heard your mom was in the hospital. Did she finally hear about everything you do here at the conventions?" he asked snidely, leaning on the bar.

I pursed my lips. Peter was just as good as Eric at being able to piss me off with just a few words. I could already feel the frustration surging up in me, so I took a deep breath.

I was just about to retort when Four showed up, lifting his eyebrow at Peter and then looking at me. "They're going to seat us, now," he announced, nodding his head toward the restaurant. As he walked away, he bumped Peter's shoulder, roughly.

Peter's face scrunched up in anger and he turned around quickly. "Hey, Four!" he called out. Four stopped, turning very slowly to face him with a nonplussed expression. "Just remember, you can't always come to your little girlfriend's rescue." I couldn't see the look on Peter's face, but I could imagine the pissed off, challenging look he was sending to Four.

Four merely blinked a few times, seeming all the world like Peter had just spoken a different language that no one else understood. "I don't know what you're talking about, Peter," he said simply. "I was just telling everyone that we were being seated. I suggest you hurry if you want a good seat."

Then he turned, grabbing Marina's hand and walking away. I watched as Marina glared up at him, mouth moving angrily as she seemed to chastise him about something. Why was he even putting up with her?

Not everyone eating dinner with us worked for Four and his band, Dauntless. Most of them were just good friends, or the significant others of band mates and sound techs. Al worked the soundboard while Uriah did lights and visual effects. Uriah's brother, Zeke, played the guitar while Zeke's girlfriend, Shauna, was their drummer. Eric played the bass, while Peter ran around at his beck and call for whatever horrible thing he wanted at the moment. Will helped me and Christina manage the merchandise and sales, while I also managed the graphics for logos and the like. Everyone else just pretty much followed us around, offering help when needed. We were a pretty close-knit group for the most part, complete with our own drama.

I picked my seat strategically, placing myself between Christina and Uriah. Across from me sat Al, and beside him was Zeke on one side and some new girl on the other. She looked friendly, though, based on the smiles she sent to Al periodically.

Dinner itself was nice; more drinks were ordered and the food was pretty good. It wasn't anything like the home-cooked meals that my brother and I had been making for the last six months, but it was decent for hotel fare. The conversations were kept light, from what I could hear, and there was always laughter coming from one end of the table or another. While it had been nice to take a break from all of this, since I'd been doing it for three and a half years or so, it felt better to be back in a familiar setting with people I had missed very much — people who were like a second family to me.

We were nearly done eating when Zeke stood up, swaying a little, and held up his hands. It took everyone a moment to quiet down, but eventually we were all looking at him, waiting for him to speak.

"I just want to say," he began, slurring slightly, "that this is a momentous occasion." He smiled at the people who commented on his impressive drunk vocabulary. "Not only is this the first time we've been invited to such a large convention in the great city of Austin, it is also a milestone for Dauntless. This marks the sixth year of Dauntless making awesome music for the masses!"

People cheered and held up their drinks. A few mumbled a toast, "To Dauntless!" and drank.

"Also!" Zeke held up another hand quickly, like he'd forgotten something. "Also! We welcome back Tris, the best damned merch girl we've ever had!" He pointed to me and raised his almost empty cup to me. "To Tris!"

Everyone echoed him, "To Tris!" and drank. I blushed, lowering my head a little. When I looked up again, my gaze traveled over to Four. He was watching me intently as he sipped from his glass. There was a smile on his face when he lowered his drink. I lifted my cup to my lips to hide my blush and took a deep drink, looking away.

"That was embarrassing," I murmured to Christina, once everyone had resumed their previous conversations.

She just laughed and nudged me with her elbow. "What? We missed you!" she cried as she slung an arm over my shoulders.

I nodded, unsure of what to say. I knew most everyone in our group liked me, with the exception of Peter and Eric; I had just never thought that I was that important. I simply sold their merchandise; it wasn't that difficult. I only had to take money and hand over products. The most difficult things I did were order business cards when we were getting low and make sure the guys unloading the booth didn't rip the signage.

I wasn't really that important, was I?

* * *

After dinner, there was a hotel party. Tonight, it was being held in Eric's room; he usually kept his rooms neat and tidy, but tonight there were bottles and cups on nearly every flat surface. Eric was stationed at the sink, pouring shots for everyone within arm's reach. Most people were already drunk, even though we'd only been in the room for about an hour; the bartenders had been very generous earlier.

I was feeling a little fuzzy, too, after two beers. It was nice to be around everyone again, to hear their laughter as they told jokes and stories from the road. It didn't matter if a story had been told a hundred times by now, it was still funny to hear it.

Al was telling his story about how the lights on the soundboard had died one time during a nighttime show, directly after commenting on another band's prowess. At the same time, Four's microphone had shrieked feedback at the audience and Al had been forced to work in the darkness to fix it. Through some miracle, he had managed to silence the offending noise. Moments later, the backlights had returned; he never praised another band during our shows ever again for fear of angering the Dauntless gods.

Even though I'd heard the story countless times before, I still laughed, because it was so nice to see him smiling happily. There was a brief lull in our conversation as our laughter wound down; then Will looked at me and grinned. "Tell the one about the cassette tape, Tris," he asked, "Myra hasn't heard that one yet!"

Myra was a new addition to our group. They'd picked her up a few weeks ago in Tallahassee where she'd been working for a vendor of some sort. I never ceased to be amazed at the way in which paths crossed over time. With the exception of one or two, she'd been at all the same conventions with her vendor.

A smile crept across my face as I recalled the story to which Will was referring. "So," I began, taking a quick sip from my beer, "we were in Seattle, hipster capital of the world, right? I'm working the booth Saturday night after one of Four's shows when this textbook hipster walks up to the table." I paused to giggle a little. "Swear to God, he's wearing the skinniest jeans he could squeeze onto his chicken legs, this ratty plaid shirt, and stupid, thick-framed glasses. He's even got a scarf on, and it's July." I paused for laughter, since this was generally the point where I got a few chuckles and headshakes. "Sorry, a _neckerchief_." More laughter.

"So he's at the table and he's looking at the CDs. I greet him because, you know, that's my job, and I ask him if he's heard Dauntless before. He just looks at me like, 'Duh', as if I should have recognized him or something. Then he picks up a CD to examine it." I paused again, giggling. "Then, no shit, he asks me, 'Do you have any cassette tapes?'" Christina burst into laughter, along with the rest of them, then grabbed my shoulder.

"'Do you have any cassette tapes?'" she repeated, gasping for breath. "Way to fulfill a stereotype, dude!"

We all laughed some more, then Will started telling another story about a convention from years ago. As he spoke, the door opened and I saw Four walk in with Marina; both were frowning fiercely and had a general air of discomfort between them. I pursed my lips a little, watching as Zeke walked up to Four, greeting him, and handed him a beer. Marina made her way over to Eric at the sink, accepting a shot immediately.

"I have to pee," I murmured and stood. I managed to pass Eric undetected, but when I returned to the main area, he looked like he was waiting for me.

"Have a shot, Stiff," he murmured, holding out a clear shot glass to me.

I wasn't big on straight liquor, but I could tell there was no way around this. Wordlessly, I took the glass from his hand even though I wanted to fight against it; when he raised his to me, I copied his movement then brought it to my lips. The amber liquid burned the second it passed my lips and on its way down. I couldn't fight the cringe that settled on my features as the liquid settled in my stomach.

"Hurts like a bitch, right?" Eric asked as he examined my reaction.

I handed him the shot glass back, not saying anything, and went to pass by him. His hand caught my arm, though, and he turned me back to face him. Marina was still in the corner, pouring more shots. She looked up when Eric tapped her arm.

"You've met Marina, right?" he asked me. His tone said he knew we had, he just wanted to rub salt in the wound. Eric was an observant enough person to have realized my feelings for Four a long time ago, and he took every chance he could to antagonize me.

I just nodded my head at him, sighing. "We met this morning," I informed him, waving slightly at Marina. She just stared at me. Four's explanation of 'or something' didn't quite do her enough justice.

Eric nodded, looking pleased. "Good." Then he reached behind him and grabbed two more shots, holding one out for me. "One for the road," he said, smiling darkly at me.

I was an incredible lightweight. After two drinks at the bar, a drink or two at dinner, then two beers and a shot here in the room? The only reason I wasn't falling down drunk was because all of that had been consumed over a few hours and I'd eaten. Still, I was already a little unsteady, and definitely fuzzy. The first shot was already hitting me and I was afraid of what a second shot would do.

When Eric held the shot glass closer to me, I took it, shooting it almost immediately. I didn't want to give him any more reason to call me Stiff.

"Thanks," I mumbled, shoving the glass back at him when my face returned to normal.

I walked back over to the couch, standing in front of Christina unsteadily. She looked up at me in alarm and furrowed her brow. "You good?" she asked.

I could feel Eric watching me; there was just something about the shiver that ran down my spine that told me his eyes were on me. To Christina, I nodded a little. She scooted over and I fell onto the couch next to her. The two shots were already starting to kick my ass, on top of all the other alcohol I'd had. I hadn't drunk a lot while I was gone, so this was a lot to take in on my first day back.

When I opened my eyes, there were suddenly fewer people in the room. Al and Myra had left, as well as Uriah and Marlene. Zeke was sitting at the table with Shauna in his lap, talking to Four. Beside him was Marina, and Eric was standing behind her. He was watching her intently; it made me uncomfortable.

I must have fallen asleep, I realized, and now that I was awake, I did not feel good at all. I was definitely going to be hung over in the morning.

"I think I need to go back to the room," I murmured to Christina.

She sat up quickly, looking at me in concern. "Okay?"

I shook my head slowly; even that movement made me feel sick. "Might puke," I mumbled, taking a deep breath.

"Will," Christina said, nudging him, "help her up."

Part of me wanted to deny his help since I knew Eric would see; that part was defeated by the surge of nausea that swept through me. I accepted his hand as he carefully pulled me to my feet. Unsteadily, I almost fell into his chest but righted myself.

I was definitely going to puke, and soon.

I didn't hear any of the comments made, if any, as Will helped me out the door. Christina was behind us, brandishing the room key already as we went down the hall. Everything felt wrong; the lights were too bright, the designs on the carpet were too garish. The noises echoing in the hallway were reverberating too loudly in my head. All of this combined to make my head ache and my stomach churn.

"Almost there, Tris," I heard Christina say as she opened the door. "Get her to the bathroom, Will."

I shut my eyes for a moment and when I opened them again, I was kneeling in front of the toilet, puking up dinner. Christina tied my hair back, away from my face. My stomach clenched tightly again and I heaved more vomit. I moaned a little, miserable. I felt Christina's hand on my back, rubbing up and down gently.

"Man, we haven't done this in what, a year or two?" she asked, a hint of amusement in her voice.

Half a chuckle escaped me, but it turned into a painful groan. "Don't make me-" I gagged, then spat, "-laugh."

"Sorry," Christina murmured, though she sounded anything but.

There was noise out in the living area, voices, but I couldn't concentrate on them. My world consisted of the toilet in front of me and the feeling of Christina's hand on my back, trying to soothe me. As the voices got closer, my stomach rolled again and I retched up a little more; there couldn't be much more left in me.

I sat back a little, leaning against the wall. Christina reached over me and flushed the toilet, the smell of vomit leaving the room at last.

"Jesus, Tris." It was Four.

I opened my eyes weakly, looking at him. This was embarrassing. I couldn't remember him ever seeing me puke; he'd seen me hung over in the mornings, but never actually vomiting. Now he was getting to witness it my first night back on the circuit; awesome.

Christina handed me a rag and I wiped at my mouth. "Sorry," I mumbled to Four, not meeting his eyes. I didn't want to see how he might be regarding me: would he be disappointed I'd be starting the convention hung over? Or would he pity me for my current situation?

When I opened my eyes again, he was crouched in front of me, offering me a water bottle. "I would say 'Welcome back' but this isn't quite the welcome I wanted for you," he said softly.

I took the bottle, sipping from it delicately. It felt good to have something go down, and not come up immediately. "I'm a lightweight," I mumbled, unable to form another coherent thought.

He shook his head. "I think Eric's tequila didn't agree with you," he replied.

Christina let out a breath. "Think you can move to the bed? Or do you want to puke some more?" she asked, touching my shoulder. Her hand was cold and felt good on my skin.

"I'm good," I slurred. I still felt drunk, but at least most of the nausea had passed. "Jus' put a trash can by th' bed."

I felt strong hands on me, shifting me until I was being carefully lifted from the floor. A peek through cracked lids revealed Four, jaw clenched as he carried me out of the bathroom. He gingerly set me on the bed, his warm hands sliding out from underneath me.

The next few minutes ran together, but I could hear bits of conversation from the living area. Christina sounded irritable as she spoke.

"No," she hissed, "you have a girlfriend, Four, who already glares daggers at Tris and they just met. Think about what staying here will do. Think about what it's probably already done. You may have missed it earlier, but she already hates Tris; she hated her based on the stories you would tell about her!"

There was a pause before I heard Four's deep voice. "I haven't missed that," he almost growled.

Missed what? I didn't understand what they were talking about. When I opened my eyes, I saw Will sitting on the bed across from me. He held out a water bottle immediately, distracting me.

When I heard Christina again, it was because she was almost shouting. "You don't see her all the time, Four! You don't see what you do to her!" There was a pause and a low sound, like a drawn out rumbling. "I don't give a shit. You need to figure it out, or maybe next time she won't come back after six months."

"Why don't you try to sleep some?" Will suggested, placing a damp rag on my forehead.

I nodded. It sounded like a great idea, but I wanted to know what Christina was talking about, and what Four might say in return. Before I could hear anything else, I heard the door shut, hard. Christina came back into the room, almost stomping.

"I can't believe him!" she was already saying. "He doesn't even realize-"

"Christina," Will said firmly. "Quiet down. Tris is _trying_ to sleep."

There was a pause, then I felt the bed dip a little. "Sorry, Sweetie," Christina murmured, placing her hand on my leg. "Want to get into comfy clothes?"

I nodded weakly. My jeans were too constricting and my top smelled like booze. And vomit. Christina helped me sit up, but before she helped me undress, she shooed Will from the room.

Once I was in pajamas, Christina helped me get under the blankets again, replacing the cool rag on my forehead.

"Sorry I puked," I mumbled. I was starting to feel a little better, but not by much.

Christina just chuckled, "Please, Tris. You held my hair more times than I can count. It's only fair that I do the same for you a few times."

I smiled a little. My mouth tasted awful, but I wasn't going to get up anytime soon. "If you wanna go back to the party..." I began.

She interrupted me. "Nah, it was getting pretty lame. Besides, I don't want to see any of the fallout between anyone there."

I was too tired to ask what she meant. Instead, I mumbled, "Eric's an asshole."

A laugh escaped her at my comment. "Yes, yes he is. He is a special kind of asshole."

I chuckled a little, the only reaction that I could possibly muster at the moment. "I think I'm gonna sleep now," I slurred. My eyes had been shut for most of the time I'd been in the bed, and I could feel unconsciousness steadily creeping up on me. As much as I wanted to sleep now, however, I was not looking forward to the morning.


	4. Hot Tub

**Author's Note: Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews, again, you guys are awesome. A lot of you are totally hating what Four's been doing, and thank you...that's kind of what I'm going for. Just hang in there for a few more chapters, please! I promise, there will be an excellent payoff. He will get his shit together, I promise. Just...not this chapter. In fact, you might dislike him more after this chapter. But again, please hang in there. :) Also, longest chapter thus far. Enjoy.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the Divergent Trilogy, but I did think of this plot.**

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 **4\. Hot Tub**

Over the next few weeks, I fell back into a routine. We hit a lot of major cities that all sort of blurred together into a familiar routine: check in to the hotel, set up the booth, sell shit at the merch table, appear at sound checks for whatever reason, tear down the booth, and attend parties in between all of it. My liver probably hated me at this point in my life, given that four almost solid years of convention-going nearly every weekend had to be taxing its limits, but I've told myself that my six-month break was enough for it to regenerate, at least somewhat.

The summer was our busiest time for conventions, by far. We also hit music festivals whenever we managed to score an invite. Conventions and the like weren't every weekend, though; most of us were from different places around the U.S., so we were typically always near someone's home. If there was a week or two without a convention, the main people in the group would crash with someone in the area while others would return home until the next time they could make it out. Sometimes, if things were going especially well with all of our side businesses, we could afford to rent a nice place for the time off.

My life had become a different hotel room every few days to weeks, something I had never thought it would become. If I had been asked in high school if I ever imagined myself working for a traveling performer and essentially living on the road, I would have laughed in reply. My family had encouraged me to further my education, with much talk of being a doctor or doing _something_ to help people. While I had never been opposed to it, not outright, I had always wanted to do something a little more exciting and carefree than being a doctor.

Now, as we checked in to the hotel in Sonoma, I realized this was definitely more exciting than I had ever anticipated. It wasn't all bad; I'd traveled almost the entire continental U.S., had seen a lot of major landmarks and historical sites, and I was the one who always bought the coolest souvenirs for Christmas presents and birthdays. Occasionally, I'd get to meet awesome figureheads from various organizations; some of them had even threatened to steal me away after they saw how well-organized I kept everything.

I didn't think I'd ever leave Four's group, at least not for someone else. I'd already left my blood family behind; I didn't think I could leave this one, too.

At the bank of elevators, Four passed out sleeves of card keys and vouchers. Christina, Will and I were together this time with the queen beds, and Al and Myra were in our living room. The hotel hadn't had a lot of room this time. Apparently, this convention started booking hotels almost immediately after the previous convention ended; we only managed to get rooms because the person in charge of the events booked a block of them for the entertainment.

Four, of course, had his own room with Tonga Vanilla Ice Cream, though we'd shortened it to Tonga by now.

Zeke, Uriah, Marlene and Shauna all had a room together, the other king bed with a pull-out couch, while Eric, Peter and anyone else with us had another double queen room. I was glad to be between Four's and Uriah's rooms: I was positive that Peter would probably bang on the wall to keep us up all night. He was definitely that kind of person.

"Remember, drinks tonight at six, dinner at seven, otherwise you're on your own," Four was saying as he handed out the last room key folder to Will. Still, Four's eyes fell on me as he spoke.

I hadn't been at dinner the last few weeks, ordering takeout instead. It was difficult to watch him with such an awful girlfriend. None of my loathing stemmed from my feelings for him, either; it was just how shitty she was to him. I watched Four try time and again to please her, but nothing he did ever seemed to be good enough. She just constantly turned her nose up at any romantic gesture he attempted or fussed at him, in front of all of us, for stupid and inconsequential things.

Christina had a running joke that the sex must be really great between them for him to keep her around for so long. I tried not to think of alternate reasons for her continued presence, like bribery or extortion. She didn't seem above any of that.

It just made me sad to see Four close in on himself more and more the last few weeks, and I was pretty sure it had to do with Marina and the way she treated him. Part of me really wanted to march up to her and tell her how awful of a human being she was, but another part of me was a little afraid that she would try to claw out my eyes with her bird-like talons. She was small, but I was a little smaller overall.

"It's gotta be her tits, man," Christina said when we entered our room. "Seriously."

We'd just finished watching Marina grip Four's arm tightly the entire trek to the line of rooms, her mouth moving in such a way that told me she wasn't saying anything nice. What the hell was wrong now?

"They are pretty nice," Will commented, leaning against the mini fridge. "I mean, for her height..." He trailed off, making an hourglass in the air.

Christina swatted his arm playfully. "Men," she said, grinning at Myra. I didn't point out the fact that she had started it.

"Really, though," Will continued, "She's awful. Why does he keep putting himself through that abuse?"

We all shrugged. "If only we knew," I murmured, beginning to unpack for the weekend. This was a comic convention, if I remembered correctly, so I'd pulled some clothes out of the portable storage unit we toted around. I wasn't particularly well-endowed, so it wasn't worth it for me to try to wear revealing shirts. I tried to wear shirts with eye-catching designs, or something that had common references, to try to appear more approachable. The boob thing was all Christina's department.

About an hour later, when we were all unpacked, I grabbed my swimsuit. There was a pool and hot tub available for use, and I was in dire need of a good soak. I didn't intend on participating in the group dinner again, since there was typically a Chinese or pizza place nearby that delivered. Also, collectively we had enough booze to run our own bar for a night or two.

I was alone in the pool room now; it was an odd time for it, since most people weren't checked in yet, or were resting after lunch. The smell of chlorine assaulted my senses, though it dwindled after a few moments, no longer tickling my nose. I kicked off my flip flops and stripped off my cover-up, dropping them next to a towel on a seat.

As tempting as the hot tub seemed, I felt the need to swim a few laps first, both for the exercise and to better appreciate the hot tub later. So I swam. I wasn't sure how many laps around the tiny pool I did, but when I started to feel the burn in my muscles, I just kept going. It felt good to push through the feeling.

I was just coming up to the edge of the pool when I caught sight of ankles, then long, tanned legs. When I reached the edge, I stopped, breathing heavily. It was Four. There was no Tonga Vanilla Ice Cream in sight. Thank the Lord.

"Hey," I said, breathless. I placed my arms on the edge of the pool and looked up at him. There was no denying it: Four was a sexy man. Even though he swam _with_ a shirt on - just like he apparently had sex, according to Christina - it was one of those special exercise shirts that may as well have been painted across his chest. The lines of his muscles were clearly visible beneath the fabric, so it was pretty easy to imagine him.

I tried not to, and failed.

"Hey," he echoed, still standing there.

Yes, things had been awkward between us lately. I sometimes tried to avoid him, sometimes not. It was difficult, since we had known each other for so long and knew so much about the other; it was easy to fall into an old rhythm of joking and conversing. Just when we started getting relaxed around each other, though, I'd realize it and stiffen, drawing back. Sometimes it seemed like he realized it, too, judging by the way he would tense up when our hands touched, but then he'd relax and touch my hand again on purpose.

I think the best description for all of that was 'mixed signals'. I wondered if Marina was a contributing factor. I mean, I couldn't and wouldn't blame him for needing normal human interaction, because she was _not_ normal. Sometimes I doubted she was even human. I couldn't ever recall seeing her smile, and I rarely ever saw Four smile around her.

But around me? His smiles were free, even if it was just a slight tilt of the corner of his mouth. Sometimes, I'd get a full-lipped smile when he was particularly pleased about something. That was around the time that I'd realize we were getting too close and I would try to taper everything off.

Sure, I detested Marina, but I was not about to flirt (excessively) with Four just because she was a bitch.

"How's the water?" Four asked, his voice a little flat. He looked tense, like he was upset.

I pushed away from the edge of the pool and leaned back in the water. "Oh, you know, wet," I grinned at him. Okay, maybe I was going to flirt excessively with him.

That made the corner of his mouth twitch up just slightly. "Mind if I join you in your wetness?" There was a hint of something flirty in his voice now, but just barely. He was definitely trying to get his mind off of something.

My grin turned a little wicked, but I told myself to behave. "I'd be offended if you didn't," I told him, swimming back a little further.

Without further preamble, Four crouched down and did a semi-dive into the water. I watched him swim for a moment, coming closer and closer to me; I tried to dance away, but my movements were slowed by the water. Before I had a chance to kick up and swim away, he was in front of me, pushing through the surface of the water. One arm came around my waist and he pulled me back under with him. I gulped air quickly, just before I went underwater. I struggled against his grasp for a moment before he stood up again with me.

When we surfaced, I immediately started laughing, pushing wet hair out of my face. "Seriously?" I asked, still laughing.

There was a more sincere grin on his face now as he looked down at me. "What?" He gave me a look of mock offense.

I splashed him as I sank down until the water was at my shoulders. "Give a girl a little warning first, would you?" I chuckled more as I lazily swam away.

"You know I'm all or nothing, Tris," he joked, laughing. "Warnings are for the weak."

His words struck a minor chord in me, though; I could definitely account for one moment where he had only been halfway as opposed to 'all or nothing', but I wasn't going to mention it. It wouldn't serve any good purpose.

So I splashed him again, swimming in circles around him. He splashed me back, but missed as I darted out of the way or sank under the water just before the water would hit my face. Eventually, he started to reach out for me, trying to grab me before I could splash him once more. He almost caught me a few times, but I was fast and able to sneak away out of his grasp at the last moment.

Within a few minutes of this impromptu game, he was genuinely laughing and smiling. A few times he grabbed my hand, but I managed to slip out of his hold before he could do anything. The whole time, we exchanged taunts and jests, peppered with innuendo. Ordinarily, I might have cared; right now, though, I didn't. I was having too much fun, watching his face scrunch in frustration as I evaded him time and again.

"What's wrong, is the Legendary Four worn out already?" I asked as I swooped in for a big splash, managing to hop out of his grasp just in time.

A wry grin crossed his features as he looked at me. He was beginning to predict my movements, so I had to switch it up on him a little. "I'm nowhere near worn out, Tris," he told me, waiting for my next move. "I could go for hours."

I couldn't help it as I mirrored his grin. "Is that a promise?" I purred at him. As I extended my arm to splash him I felt strong fingers clasp around my skin, yanking me forward.

Then I was right up against him, his skin cool at first from the pool, but warming after a moment. Our gazes locked, stormy gray eyes meeting bright blue ones, unable to look away. I felt my breath catch in my throat as he pressed his other hand into my waist, just like he had that one night two years ago.

His breath was warm against my face as he spoke. "Wouldn't you like to know?" he murmured, glancing down at my lips.

My entire body screamed, _Yes!_ Then the rational part of my brain woke up and started sounding the alarm bells. We were so close; this was bad. I couldn't do this to him; I couldn't let him kiss me while his evil girlfriend was in their hotel room. But _God_ , I sure wanted to; I could practically feel his lips against mine and I blinked a few times just to be sure I hadn't spaced out for too long.

Then I did the only rational thing I could do in that position: I splashed him, full in the face.

Four's jaw dropped in shock as he looked down at me. Then he shut his mouth, lips clamped together and I decided I didn't quite like the look that was crossing his face.

His hands were around my waist already, so I wasn't quite prepared as he suddenly lifted me up and unceremoniously dropped me back under the water. When I resurfaced, Four was laughing and I quickly checked my top to make sure it was still tied. After ensuring it was secure - yes - I swam swiftly over to him, taking advantage of his distraction, then climbed up onto his shoulders. It had the effect I wanted; the surprise of my weight on him sent him off balance and we both toppled into the water together.

Carefully, I extracted my legs from around his shoulders and kicked up to the surface. It was my turn to laugh now as we both took huge gulps of air.

When I glanced over at Four, I was transfixed by the expression on his face. He was just looking at me, a soft smile playing on his lips. I was pleased because he finally looked happy. I hadn't seen him that way in probably two months, not since I'd gotten back.

When he started to move toward me, I acted quickly and hauled myself out of the pool. I threw him a glance over my shoulder as I walked over to the hot tub, waiting to see if he was following me. The second my foot hit the water, though, my face contorted into something between pleasure and pain. The water felt so hot and I wasn't sure if it was too hot or if it felt good. A little gasp escaped me as I stepped further into it, finally sitting on one of the cement seats.

Four joined me, taking a seat across from me. I looked at him shyly, hoping that the redness in my face could be attributed to the heat of the hot tub and not the blush he caused. He just returned my look, a small smile on his face.

"What?" I murmured, lowering my gaze. I couldn't understand why he would sometimes look at me like that, like _I_ was his girlfriend, not Marina. It made me a little uncomfortable, honestly.

"I haven't been able to take you to dinner yet," he stated, matter-of-factly.

Oh. I looked up at him, pursing my lips. Was it really a good idea for me to go to dinner with him? I knew he just wanted to catch up, and we really hadn't done a lot of that since I'd been back. Most of our conversations had been about the conventions or the band, anything that wasn't too personal. Even if we were alone for a little while it never lasted long, since someone else usually appeared, breaking whatever tension that had arisen between us.

"No, you haven't," I confirmed, placing my hands on my knees under the water.

He shifted, scooting down a little so he looked more at ease. I fought back the surge of attraction that his proximity seemed to command. "I'd still like to have the chance to catch up with you, just us," he said, blue eyes piercing mine. "No distractions."

I swallowed, hoping it wasn't visible to him. Over the last two weeks, I had managed to dispel the moment when it looked like he was about to bring it up, or I'd even managed to beg off from the invitation. Now, though, there was nothing around I could use as an excuse. I didn't have my laptop nearby, couldn't say I had too much work, and Christina wasn't near me to bail me out. It was just us, alone in the hot tub.

"Um." How eloquent I could be under pressure. "When were you thinking?" I asked, hoping he would suggest a date when I knew I had too many deadlines.

He was quick to answer. "Monday night?" he suggested, though he looked like he wanted to say sooner.

I was stuck. Unless I received an influx of commissions, I currently had no work obligations aside from his booth. While part of me really wanted to say yes to him, to have a private dinner with Four, there was something in my head that told me it was a bad idea. I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth, worrying it for a moment. Four furrowed his brow at me for a moment, then cleared his throat.

"Look, if you don't want to go, just say so-"

"Monday sounds great," I said quickly. He had suddenly looked so defeated that my heart had gone out to him. With everything that seemed to have been going on between him and Marina lately, I couldn't stand being the one to make him upset. I felt like I was one of the few people he could count on for lighthearted conversation and a smile.

And smile he did. His lips spread across his face; this time my heart clenched in a very different way. It was more like a flutter, or a somersault.

"Good," he said, scooting a little closer around the circular hot tub. "I'm looking forward to it."

I gave him a shy smile, the blush returning to my face. He was scooting a little closer still and I started to panic, not sure what to do with his looming presence, so I said the first thing that came to mind. "How's Marina?" From the look that crossed his face, though, I knew that was definitely not the right thing to say and inwardly kicked myself.

"She's fine," he said flatly, face expressionless. "How's your mother? Have you heard anything new about her lately?"

Embarrassed now, I accepted the change of subject and nodded to him. "She's doing all right. I talked to Caleb a few days ago. She saw her doctor the other day and they said she was okay." I gave him a smile, hoping to encourage him to relax again.

"Good. That's good," he murmured. When he smiled back at me, I didn't feel as bad. "If you ever need to go see her, let me know. We might end up in Chicago in a few months, actually. Eric is talking to someone about getting us back to their convention."

My smile widened. "That'd be awesome. Is it the same convention where we met?" I wanted to know.

He nodded at me, putting his arm over the edge of the hot tub. His hand was close to my shoulder. "The very same," he answered, still smiling a little. I wondered if he was remembering it just like I was.

"That's so cool," I murmured, wistfully recalling how we first met. We'd been back to Chicago the following two years, but last year we hadn't been able to make it because of overlapping conventions.

Four was actually from Chicago, too, just a different area. The times that we had been there in the past, though, he hadn't really seemed to spend a lot of time outside of the hotel rooms. I wondered if he had any family... It was strange, having known him for so long, but not knowing something so simple about him.

"I have to admit to being really selfish, though," he said after a moment.

I looked up at him, almost startled out of my thoughts. "What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

His fingers brushed against my shoulder, pushing my hair away. "When you were gone," he began, taking a lock of hair between his fingers, "It was really difficult, for everyone. Not only was the booth extremely disorganized, there were a lot of arguments between people." He paused, clearing his throat. "They missed you."

My cheeks warmed more in a blush, and I wanted to look away but his gaze held mine captive. What was there to say? "I missed everyone, too," I murmured.

"I know you had to be home with your family, but that's what makes me selfish," he continued, looking at his fingers as he played with my hair. "The whole time you were gone, I couldn't stop thinking about you, wondering if you were all right." He waited another moment then raised his gaze to mine. "I missed you, too. It was difficult without you, Tris, especially for me."

He was suddenly so close; how had I not noticed him scooting closer to me? There was only a few inches between our legs under the water and he could put his arm over me if he wanted. Judging by the look on his face, he wanted to do that, and more. I licked my lips and looked at him from under my eyelashes. Desire welled up in me, stronger than before. Could I fend off these feelings? Did I want to?

"Tris," he murmured, eyes flickering down to my lips.

I felt dizzy, and I wasn't sure if it was from the hot tub or from the look Four was giving me, how he was leaning in closer.

He was going to kiss me. He was going to kiss me right now, and I was going to let him.

His lips were soft against mine, pressing gently. For a moment, I merely let him kiss me before eventually returning the affection. He cupped my cheek, water dripping off his palm and down my chin. Then I felt his lips part against mine, tongue begging for entry into my mouth. Memories from the first and last time we kissed surged through my mind and I couldn't stop the moan that escaped me when I felt his tongue caress mine.

I couldn't believe this was happening. For the last two years, I'd wanted to kiss him like this again, had literally dreamed of it. At last, it was happening once more and I couldn't think straight. All I could manage to do was remember to breathe, and from the way his lips were moving against mine, I was even having a difficult time with that.

When Four pulled away, we were both breathing heavily. He rested his forehead against mine. His lips pressed against mine for just a moment, stealing a quick kiss. When he leaned in to kiss me again, I pressed one finger against his lips, holding him back.

"Four," I murmured, leaning back slightly. It was all rushing back to me now, why this couldn't happen between us, why it _shouldn't_ happen between us. "I can't do this to you." I pulled further away. I had to get some distance between us, some space.

When I glanced at his face as I started to climb out of the hot tub, I saw confusion and dismay on his features. I looked away quickly; I couldn't bear to look at his face and know I was the one making him feel that way.

"What do you mean, Tris?" he asked, also climbing out of the water.

I tried to ignore the feeling I got when I saw how much more his shirt clung to his chest and his shorts were plastered to his legs. I hurried over to the towel I'd brought and wrapped it around me, hoping it would absorb most of the water on my body.

"You're with Marina. This can't happen," I insisted, sliding into my flip flops.

Four grabbed my arm, keeping me from escaping. I looked up at him, helpless and shaking my head. "Tris," he murmured, furrowing his brows together again. "I-"

I pulled out of his grasp, feeling cold where his hand had been. "I have to go, Four," I murmured, not waiting to see his reaction. Before I exited the pool, I looked over my shoulder again and shook my head. "I'm sorry."

I knew that Four could corner me in the elevator if he followed me, but I hoped he was so taken aback that it would be a few minutes before he even tried to catch up. Though when I reached the elevator banks, still dripping from the pool, I would have preferred him over the figure standing there ever so casually.

"How was the pool, Stiff?" Peter asked, looking at me with his stupid amused expression.

I blushed and hit the button for the elevator again, even though it was already lit. I wanted to hurry up and get to the room. "Fine," I answered through gritted teeth.

"Did you enjoy the hot tub?" His voice had a knowing tone to it and I looked at him immediately, hoping that my panic was not evident.

"Sure," I mumbled, looking away again. The elevator dinged, signaling its arrival, and I filed in after Peter. If I didn't get in the elevator now, then it would be obvious that something was bothering me, including him.

As soon as the doors shut, Peter had me cornered. His hands pressed against the walls of the car on either side of my body. I cringed away from him instinctively, remembering everything that had transpired between us years ago. His touch had left permanent imprints on my body and I hated it, hated what just his presence could do to me sometimes.

"Get away," I ground out, not looking up at him.

"I just figured since you were getting so cozy with Four and he shot you down, you might be a little lonely or something," he suggested, getting even closer. I could smell his stale breath.

I tried to shrink into the corner more, but I couldn't. "Get away, Peter," I repeated, turning to look up at him.

It was the ding of the elevator, not my hard glare, that caused him to back away. "Well, Stiff, if that's the case, you know where I am," he said offhandedly as he stepped back toward the door. "You know, for old times' sake."

The doors were just beginning to close when I hit the button again to stop them and stepped out into the hallway. I waited a moment or two before starting down the hallway. I wanted to give Peter a head start to get into his room.

He knew about me and Four kissing in the hot tub, but he seemed to think I had initiated it. Either way, this was a problem. Was he going to keep the information to himself and blackmail me? Or was he going to tell everyone? Regardless of his possible plans, it was bad for both of us.

When I reached the room, it dawned on me that I had left my cover-up with my room key in the pocket at the pool. "Shit," I breathed and rested my head on the door.

Hesitantly, I knocked, hoping someone would be in there. With the number of people rooming with me there was a decent chance, but I didn't doubt my luck to be bad today.

There was no sound from within, but I knocked again, hoping against hope that someone would open the door.

"Tris?" I turned my head quickly to see Four standing a few feet away, towel draped over his shoulders. He was holding my cover-up.

When I reached out for the garment, I noticed my hands were trembling. Quickly, I took the cover-up from him and dug out my room key. It took me a few tries to insert the key into the lock before I felt Four's hand on mine, holding it still.

"Tris, are you okay?" he asked, still holding my hand.

I nodded quickly, pulling my hand out of his and finally managing to get the key in the lock. "I'm fine," I lied, not looking at him. I had to get in this room, now, or I was going to lose it in the hallway. The lock flashed green at me at last and I slipped inside.

Four followed me, shutting the door behind him. "No, you're not," he insisted, following me towards the bedroom.

I shut the door between us, locking it, then leaned back against it. Slowly, I slid down the door until I was sitting. I just wanted to be alone, to figure out what had just happened in the pool. Everything had been fine, we had been hanging out like friends. Then he had kissed me, and I had kissed him back. What did that mean? Had I looked like I wanted to kiss him, so he'd done it to make me feel better? Or had he wanted to do it anyways? And what about Marina?

"Please, just go away, Four," I said miserably, leaning my head back against the door.

His voice was firm through the door. "Not until you talk to me," he replied.

I shook my head, blowing out a long breath. "I'd really rather not talk right now." I just wanted to shower and recover. While I was off-balance because of the kiss with Four, I was even more upset about the encounter with Peter. Having him so close to me had brought back entirely too many memories while I was already in a vulnerable state.

"Dammit, Tris!" There was a thud, what sounded like him hitting the door. "Please, something is wrong. Just tell me."

Tears were pricking at my eyes, but I bit my lower lip to fend them off. I could easily just get in the shower now in hopes that he would leave once he realized I could no longer hear him. But Four was stubborn enough to just stay; I had to come out of the room sometime. It was possible, though, that someone would come in before we were able to talk, and he wouldn't want to have that conversation while someone else was in the room.

The memory of his face, and the hurt that lined it, flashed into my mind. He must have been so confused when I suddenly rejected him. And now that I was acting like the kiss was what was so upsetting, he probably thought I hated him. I couldn't leave him thinking that...

Slowly, I stood and opened the door. A few tears had streaked down my face, but I wiped them away quickly before the door opened all the way. Four was still standing there, a look of concern on his face.

"Listen, Four, I don't want to talk about what happened," I started, but he interrupted me.

"I'm sorry," he blurted out. "I shouldn't have kissed you, not right now. It wasn't fair to you to do that, so I'm sorry." He looked truly apologetic, but then his expression changed to one of concern again. "What is it, Tris?"

I swiped at my face again; there were more tears falling. "Shit," I hissed out and turned, intent on hiding my tears. Four put his hand on my shoulder, pulling me back.

"What happened?"

I cleared my throat, still looking away. "I ran into Peter at the elevator," I whispered. "He saw us in the hot tub." Four stiffened at my words. He wasn't aware of all the things that happened between us, of the abuse, but he knew enough from comments.

"What did he say?" he asked, his voice much quieter. He let his hand slide down my arm until his fingers touched mine, then pulled me with him to the couch. I went with him hesitantly, unsure of what else would happen between us.

I sniffled, hating myself for crying. "He, um, he thought I kissed you first," I mumbled, stumbling over the word 'kiss'.

"And?" Four pressed, knowing that there was more.

I pulled one lip between my teeth for a moment then went on, "And he said that if I was lonely I could go back to him for old times' sake." I blushed, not looking at him now. Again, I could feel Peter's hands on me and I cringed.

I could feel Four tensing more at what Peter had said. Beside me, he swore quietly and I saw his fists clench. "That bastard," he ground out. "Did he touch you?"

I turned to look at him at the question. My face heated up, but I shook my head. "N-no. No, he didn't," I murmured.

Four closed his eyes for a moment, then nodded. "I'll talk to him," he ground out.

"No!" I turned and grabbed his arm, fingers digging into his skin. "No, please don't. Then he'll know how much he got to me. I'll take care of it." I paused, frowning for a moment. "I can deal with him."

Four gave me a hard look for a moment, eyebrows drawn together again. He frowned at me more, but looked away after a few seconds. I knew he was probably fighting with himself on how he wanted to handle it. Did he want to listen to me and let me take care of myself? Or did he have to play knight in shining armor - again - and make my problem go away?

"I'm not your girlfriend, Four," I said softly, with no trace of malice. "I'm not a damsel in distress, either." I placed my hand on his arm gently now, hoping he'd look at me. His blue eyes were sad when his gaze came to rest on me. "I'm just a girl who has made choices, some good and some bad, and now I have to deal with the consequences of them."

His jaw tightened for a moment, but he nodded. He didn't seem happy with my words.

"If you don't mind," I said after a moment, standing up, "I want to shower, get the chlorine out of my hair."

Four stood up, too, then looked down at himself like he was just remembering we'd been in the pool. "Right," he murmured. Then he fixed his gaze on me once more. His hand came up to rest on my cheek for a moment. "Sure you're okay?"

Tears pricked in my eyes at how tender he could be sometimes. His thumb was rubbing my cheek gently, back and forth, and his blue eyes were watching me, soft and intent. I almost couldn't handle it.

"Yeah," I murmured, covering his wrist with my hand. "I'll be fine." Carefully, so it didn't seem like another rejection, I pulled his hand away from my face then held it for a moment. His fingers were calloused against my palm as he squeezed gently, just before our hands separated. My hand started trembling the moment he pulled away.

"Okay," he said softly, believing me now. Four stood there for a moment before stepping forward. I thought he was going to kiss me again when he began to close the space between us, but then his lips came to rest on my forehead, warm and soft. When he stepped back, I felt a loss, like he had taken something from me.

As he smiled at me from the door, I realized that whatever he had taken from me, I didn't want it back, not so long as he looked at me like that.

* * *

 **Please don't hate me. Be happy for some action. See you guys next time.**


	5. Bananas

**Author's Note: Thank you guys, once again for all your kind reviews. You have honestly been a light in a dark place for me right now. Seriously, life is crazy in general, but lately it has been more so. But I won't bore you all with details. Instead, I will just reiterate my thanks. I'm just glad I was able to find time to proofread and update for you guys. And to the few people who have been continually wondering about Marina, I can tell you with certainty, she is not just a plot device. But all in good time, dear readers, all in good time. Thanks for stickin' around this long, and hope you stick around even longer. Please enjoy the next installment of _You Belong With Me_.**

 **Oh, and a friendly reminder...this story is rated M, currently for language and references to adult themes. Soon, though, there will be payoff. Soon...**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the Divergent universe, but I did think of this plot.**

* * *

 **5\. Bananas**

That night, it took a while to get to sleep. Not because my head was overrun with thoughts from the rest of the day, even though it was. Things Four had said kept echoing in my head, over and over. After he left, I showered, checked my email, and read for a little while. Christina had essentially dragged me to dinner that night, where Four and I had exchanged a few awkward looks and blushes; they had gone unnoticed by most people, thankfully.

Unfortunately, 'most people' did not include Christina. She had almost literally pried the information out of me while we were alone back at the room. It had been like pulling teeth telling her, but then she'd squealed loudly about how naughty I was. Then I'd told her about Peter, and her face had darkened.

"He's a bastard," she had mumbled, echoing Four's words from earlier.

Then everyone else had come back into the room, sufficiently liquored up, and we'd all eventually fallen into our beds in an attempt to sleep before the opening of the convention.

Now, though, it seemed impossible to sleep with the literal and figurative banging going on in the room next to us.

"She really can't sound like that," Christina groaned at last, throwing an arm over her face. "Even I don't make stupid noises like that!"

There was a particularly loud, feminine cry of supposed ecstasy, making the three of us in the room cringe.

"Seriously!" Christina sat up abruptly; her hair was standing up at odd angles from her tossing and turning. "This is ridiculous! I'm about to smack the freaking wall!"

I turned on my side to look at her, hoping the dark obscured the occasional winces of pain I felt. It was hard to hear the copious amounts of sex happening in the next room, especially considering the fact that Four had kissed me earlier. How could he kiss me, then screw her the very same night?

As I thought about it, it made some kind of sense. She was his girlfriend; I was just his merch girl...

"Don't do that," I told Christina, shaking my head a little bit. There was another explicit noise through the wall.

Christina frowned at me. "Maybe it'll startle them and she'll realize how fake she sounds. It might save us from future nights of their horrible sex noises." She looked like she was seriously contemplating hitting the wall.

"Christina," I scolded, sitting up. I wasn't so much worried about embarrassing Marina as I was about Four feeling more awkward around me. Not that there was anything to really feel awkward about, I reminded myself.

Before either of us could say anything else, there was a particularly painful, loud wail, accompanied by a faint groan, then everything went silent. I chewed my lip, trying not think about what Four sounded like during sex. My cheeks began to burn in the darkness; I was failing miserably in that endeavor.

"Well, thank God, they're done now," Christina grumbled, laying back down at last. "Seriously, sex is not _that_ good with him."

Will, who I thought had actually fallen asleep despite the noises next door, sat up at her statement. "Hey, just because I know you used to sleep with him doesn't mean I want to hear about it. I do have to work with the man, you know."

Christina just laughed a little. "Sorry to offend your manly ego," she joked and turned onto her side, facing him.

They continued to whisper for a few minutes as I lay alone on my own bed. There were days where I just felt so alone, and it was usually accentuated by being surrounded by the couples in the group. When I saw how Zeke looked at Shauna or Uriah joked with Marlene, my heart would give a little pang. Hearing the soft whispers and kisses between Christina and Will was just downright painful.

It was tempting to just pick up a guy for a few weeks, like Four did with girls, just for the companionship. Even though the relationships I'd been in had sucked, one of the things I'd enjoyed the most about being with someone was the closeness that came with sharing a bed. Now, the bed seemed too big for someone as small as me.

Being alone sucked.

* * *

The next morning heralded the beginning of the convention. Our booth was already set up in a corner of one of the hallways, since that was a Thursday task, but it was my job to ensure the merchandise was set out and ready by noon. Usually, Christina and I both set out stock, but I went back and organized things to make it look more appealing to the eye. There was a science to it, a certain way to lay things out that was guaranteed to draw people in.

By eleven thirty, we were almost done setting up. There really wasn't much for us to do at conventions. Usually, Christina and I took shifts at the booth during the day, letting the other explore the convention, and some of the band members would also chill at the table to keep us company. After shows, though, we both manned the booth since there was usually a fair number of people who were hearing Dauntless for the first time and wanted to buy all their CDs, like I had. The band was usually there, too, to sign CDs - or boobs. Rarely did they turn down signing boobs.

In fact, I was pretty sure that was how Four found most of his "companions", since there did seem to be a running theme amongst them: rather large breasts.

Since he'd been officially dating Marina, though, the amount of breasts he had signed was considerably less. There were more tummy signings than anything. I wasn't sure if I found it amusing or sad that she had that effect on him. I was leaning more toward sad.

The thought of Four brought back memories of just yesterday; my lips tingled at the thought of our kiss. Part of me definitely felt bad about it, since he was supposed to be dating Marina, but another part of me was incredibly pleased. Still, I think that most of me was just extremely confused.

I really wanted to think that his kiss meant that he was into me, but I was still unsure. It was the first time he'd tried to kiss me since that time two years ago. Was this going to be another moment that just disappeared into our history book, never to be spoken of again? Or was there something deeper to this kiss?

I frowned as I rearranged the CD display.

"What's wrong?" Christina leaned on the table beside me, fidgeting with one of the displays I'd already perfected.

I reached over and fixed what she had messed up. "I can't get this display right," I lied, not wanting to say what was really bothering me right now. I couldn't get the feeling of Four's lips on mine out of my mind, even though it was so wrong.

"Uh-huh." Christina didn't sound convinced. "It looks fine." She tweaked one of the CDs I was adjusting. "What's really bothering you? Still thinking about Four?"

My eyes widened and I looked around us quickly. There were a few other people around, but no one seemed to be listening. "Shut up," I hissed, glaring at her. I didn't want someone to overhear anything we might say. If it got back to someone like Eric or Marina, life would be hell for both Four and me. I frowned more when I realized Peter had probably already run his mouth to Eric at this point.

"So you _are_ ," she whispered, triumphant. "Good. Keep thinking about him."

I smacked her arm, still scowling. Before I could say anything, though, a deep voice interrupted us. "Thinking about who?" I shuddered, then turned to see Eric. He was smirking at me knowingly.

Christina was silent for half a second before bursting into action. "Damn, Tris, you're good! Just thinking about Eric made him appear!" she exclaimed, smacking my arm lightly.

I looked at her hesitantly before nodding, turning to look at Eric.

"So you were thinking about me, huh, Stiff?" He crossed his arms over his chest, his white t-shirt wrinkling, and leaned back to look me over.

A cold chill crept up the back of my neck as his eyes ran over my body. Now I felt like I needed another shower to rid myself of the nasty feeling his gaze left on my skin. "Yeah," I mumbled, thinking of what to say. My eyes fell on the displays so I gestured to them immediately. "Since you're so picky about the displays and all," I began, putting a sarcastic tone to my voice, "I just wanted your opinion." He really couldn't give two shits about the displays, as long as people bought our merchandise.

He just frowned a little at my response then glanced at the table. "It looks fine," he grumbled. "I would say you should spend less time worrying about the displays and more time elsewhere, but I think you have that covered already." His expression changed to a leer and I was positive Peter had shared what he _thought_ had happened the previous day.

As he left, I shuddered again, visibly. "Ugh, I hate him," I whispered as he walked over to another booth to heckle people. We were all friends with some of the other bands, but Eric's form of friendship seemed to involve a lot of ball-busting.

"I know," Christina muttered, rolling her eyes. "Good job, though." She patted my shoulder then turned back to the table. "I think we're done here for now. At least until some hipster comes and screws it up again."

* * *

Fridays were usually a pretty easy day, as far as the merch table went. There were only two shows, with average attendance. There was always a possibility of a large influx of people after the shows, but it was rare. Most of the large crowds would come on Saturday night, when Dauntless played their big show. That was the show that people would bring their friends to, to introduce them to the music. The other shows were smaller, definitely more intimate; Dauntless would play their more "obscure" songs, gearing the show toward existing fans.

So when I had a crowd of people surging around the table Friday night, all with the intent of buying something, I was incredibly confused and more than a little anxious. I'd already sent Christina a frenzied text - "SOS BOOTH" - telling her I needed help, but I wasn't sure if she'd even see it.

I took a deep breath and looked up from checking my phone for possibly the hundredth time in five minutes. There was a petite redhead waving a CD at me, looking frustrated. She also had money in her hands.

"Why isn't the band here to sign my CD?" she was asking obnoxiously. Beside her was a brunette rifling through the shirts, and all I could think about was having to refold them after this mess was done.

I took the girl's money and handed her back a five for change and shrugged. "They're busy," I said in reply, then looked over her shoulder at the next person who looked ready to buy something. This was crazy.

"Do you have this shirt in an extra small?" the brunette asked, holding up one of the tank tops with Four's face on it.

With a frown, I peered closer and shook my head. "That _is_ an extra small, it's on the label inside," I replied, trying not to make it sound like I thought she was an idiot, even though I did.

She just rolled her eyes at me and dropped it on the table for a moment. Then she pulled out her wallet and threw twenty dollars in front of me.

I couldn't even hear the stereo over the crowd of people asking me questions. What was with this? I couldn't recall this many people on a normal night in years, at least not since the new CD came out.

Another person managed to pay for a few CDs, smiling kindly at me, but I was too flustered to smile back. It had probably looked more like a grimace. In fact, I was just about to let out a frustrated groan when I felt a hand on my shoulder. The noise from the group, mostly girls, increased tenfold; then I looked up and saw Four beside me, smiling sympathetically.

"Want some help?" he asked, jerking his head slightly toward the crowd of people.

"Oh my God," I breathed, giving him a grateful smile. "You're my hero."

He just laughed then turned to look at the crowd. A girl was holding her CD out to him and money out to me. I took her cash while Four pulled a sharpie out of his pocket and signed it quickly.

As thankful as I was for his presence, I wasn't quite sure how helpful he would actually be. He was probably going to end up signing more CDs than anything, which kept more people at the front of the table longer, but at least he was here. I couldn't help sneaking a few glances at him between people throwing money at me in exchange for merch. More than a few times, our eyes met and I couldn't help but blush before handing change back to a person or just answering questions.

An eternal twenty minutes later, the last person walked off with a freshly signed full run of CDs. I dropped back into the chair and let out a sigh of relief.

"That was _insane_ ," I laughed. I felt like I needed a shot at this point.

Four was also chuckling as he sat next to me. "I've never seen it like that," he said, leaning back. "Does that happen often?"

I looked at him and shook my head. "Not since the new CD came out. A few times it got close to that, but for some reason today was just nuts." I gave him a smile. "Thank you so much for helping, Four." Gently, I patted his shoulder.

He smiled at me. "I was just walking by, and was actually going to ask if you were hungry," he answered, leaning forward onto his knees.

With a groan, I mirrored his posture, not wanting to look at the table yet. It was probably a mess. "I think I was hungry before that started, but I can't feel anything right now." Unable to resist, my gaze wandered to the disaster of a table. "I need to restock and reorganize this; it's so screwed up," I chuckled. When I reached for my water, I let out a soft whine. It was empty. When had I had time to drink?

Four reached over and took it from me. "Want me to refill this?" he asked, standing.

"Preferably with something stronger than water," I joked but shook my head. "I think there's a fountain around the corner."

As I watched Four disappear around the corner, I couldn't help but smile. He was so sweet, at least around me. Over the last few months that I'd been back, I had seen a change in him, and not a good one. I was pretty sure it all had to do with Marina and the way she treated him. I tried not to watch, but she was just mean. And she wasn't that way with just Four, she was like that with everyone. It wasn't uncommon to catch her dressing someone down for some inconsequential thing that most normal people would have let go. She totally overreacted to small mistakes.

Was she just high-strung? Or was she simply a bitch? Most of us leaned toward the latter, because even high-strung people had okay moments. It was unlikely that the only "okay" moments she had were with Four...

With a groan, I pushed up out of the chair and went around the table to start fixing the displays. They'd really done a number on it. Almost all of the shirts were piled in a heap, unfolded; the CDs were in various states of disarray; bumper stickers were flipped and turned this way and that. It was like a tornado had swept through.

As I busied myself fixing the table, thoughts about yesterday began to creep back into my brain. With the rush of people earlier, I hadn't been able to dwell on my thoughts. Now that things were relatively quiet and nothing dire was begging for my attention, I couldn't help it. What had Four's kiss meant? That was pretty much the only thing I wanted to know at this point. Was he as confused as I was? Or had he shrugged it off again, like last time? Did he feel bad about it? Having no answers to the questions repeatedly circling around in my head was causing my frustration level to rise.

I heaved a sigh as I folded the last t-shirt, taking mental stock of them. I did feel guilty about him kissing me; I seriously disliked Marina, so my guilt really had very little to do with her. I didn't feel remorse over how she would react if she heard, but guilt over how Four would feel if things continued to happen between us. Confusion began to well up in me again. While part of me said it wouldn't mind at all if he deposited Marina somewhere, anywhere, so our fling could continue, another part of me wondered what would actually happen. If he did leave her, would he just find another flavor of the month? Would _I_ be the flavor of the month?

My phone buzzed, pulling me from my thoughts as I studiously rearranged the CDs. I'd have to put new ones out soon.

I checked my texts, one from Christina with an apology and asking if I still needed her - ' _no, but I'd like a break'_ \- and one from Four. ' _Turkey_ _or ham?'_ he was asking.

Remembering that he still had my water bottle made me feel thirstier than before he'd left. Then I smiled a little. He was buying my dinner. I typed a quick reply, ' _Turkey_ _. Where are you? I'll be there in a minute.'_ As soon as I hit send, Christina's reply came through, telling me she was on her _way_.

I threw some more CDs on the table, arranging them neatly. Four's response came a few minutes later: he was at the hotel café, waiting with a sandwich. When Christina showed up, she looked wide-eyed at the table.

"Whoa, what the hell happened?" she asked, noticing the lack of stock.

I chuckled and went to check the inventory list again, making sure everything was correct. "A tornado went through, obviously," I answered her, smiling at the memory of Four stepping in to help.

Christina caught on and leaned on the table. "Uh-huh, and what _else_ happened?" she inquired, waggling her eyebrows suggestively. She was certainly wishy-washy where Four and I were concerned. There were days where she didn't even try to keep it a secret that she wanted me to be with Four, but then there were days where she hated his guts for how he seemed to be "playing me".

I blushed a little, despite myself. "Four came by to help," I mumbled. "He's actually waiting for me at the café with food."

Playfully, Christina batted at my arm. "Girl! You better go talk to him!" she sang out. We laughed a little, though I was still blushing at her words. Then she sobered and walked around the table, placing her drink on the floor. "Seriously, though, you need to see what's up with him."

I bit my lip and nodded. "I will," I muttered, looking at the table and tweaking the last few things.

"For real, Tris!" she insisted, pushing my hands away from the table. "If he just wants to take advantage of you, I _will_ punch him in the throat."

The image of that brought a laugh from me again, despite her seriousness. "If you can reach it. He's like a foot or so taller than you," I pointed out, holding my hand up to his approximate height. "How'd you guys kiss, anyways?"

This time, Christina blushed, turning a scowl on me. "He's very accommodating," she insisted, and I tried to fight the thoughts that statement encouraged. "He leaned down to kiss me and I rubbed his shoulders for the neck aches he swore he got as a result." We both chuckled a little before she shoved me away. "Seriously, go. Talk to him."

I rolled my eyes at her as I walked off, throwing a comment back over my shoulder, "I will, jeez."

As I made my way back through the hotel, I watched the convention going on around me. Even though it was nearly ten at night, things were still in full swing; it didn't look like people were going to be winding down anytime soon. I admired the costumes people were wearing, wondering how much time they must have put into some of their attire. The most I really did for a costume, if I was going to wear one, was a simple corset — even though I didn't have much to fill it out — and some fairy wings Christina had insisted I buy at a fantasy convention a few years ago. I had a lot of shirts that had funny designs and patterns, suitable for any occasion.

I stopped at the water fountain to relieve the dryness in my throat, but otherwise made a beeline to the café. Now that the adrenaline rush from handling all those customers was gone, I was starving. I'd had lunch around two, after the booth had opened, but that was about eight hours ago. Despite some minor concerns about spending time alone with Four, I had legitimate reasons to look forward to hopefully eating dinner with just him. We really did need to talk...

My hopes were dashed when I walked into the café and saw Zeke and Shauna sitting across from Four. They were both picking at the remnants of their dinner; when I looked at Four, he still had a full plate of food in front of him. I smiled to myself shyly when I realized he'd waited for me before eating.

When they spotted me, Zeke waved first, shooting me a big smile. He and Uriah looked so similar, yet their family likeness became even more obvious when they smiled; it was almost uncanny.

"Hey, Tris!" Zeke called out as I pulled out the chair beside Four. "My man here was just telling us about how awesome you were at handling that huge crowd of people earlier. You rock."

I blushed a little and looked over at Four. "He helped," I offered, not wanting to take the spotlight entirely.

Four just chuckled, finally taking a bite of his sandwich. "I think I just made it worse," he confessed after he swallowed his food. "People just wanted me to sign their CDs."

I smiled over at him. "You still helped; you took money from a _few_ people," I insisted, then took another bite of my sandwich.

Shauna spoke up now, smiling at us. "Regardless, you're awesome, Tris." She lifted her drink to me before taking a sip. "It's good to have you back. Have we told you that?"

A laugh escaped me and I nodded, covering my mouth with my hand. "Only a few hundred times, I think. But, you know, it's good to hear it again." I couldn't help the look I shot over to Four; he returned a small smile to me.

As nice as it had been to see my mother again, despite the circumstances, it was great to be among friends once more. I felt completely at ease around these people sitting with me. There were only a few people in our group who made me uncomfortable, but it was easy enough to shrug off whatever hiccups our interactions caused.

Really, there was no place I'd rather be than here. The smile on my face must have conveyed it, because when I looked over at Four, he had this glint in his eyes that made me think he felt the same way, too.

"Well," Zeke announced, drawing out the one word. "We'll let you two eat. This lady here-" he placed his hand on Shauna's shoulder "-said she was tired and wanted to go to bed early." When he looked at Four, though, the wicked grin on his face said that they were going to do anything but sleep. I just blushed, looking down at my food.

Shauna batted Zeke's arm, also blushing. Four just laughed at them. "Good night, guys," he said, patting Zeke's shoulder as they passed.

And then we were alone, just like I'd hoped. Instead of feeling confident about talking to him like I had on my way over here, I suddenly felt anxious. What would I even say to him? Should I even say anything?

Christina's words echoed in my mind. Was he just trying to take advantage of me? I wanted to think otherwise, that the friendship Four and I had wouldn't allow him to do that. But then I thought about the fact that I didn't hide my feelings very well, at least not well enough around him. If he was feeling caged in his relationship with Marina and wanting something more normal, would he take advantage of me and use me for that? I frowned a little.

If he just thought I was an easy mark since I'd had feelings for him so for long, he was wrong. I wouldn't just let him have his way with me and leave me like he had done with all the other girls.

"What's up?" Four's voice drew me out of my thoughts. I looked over at him; he was nearly done with his sandwich while I had barely touched mine.

I shook my head and took another bite of food. "Just thinking," I said, after I washed down the particularly large bite.

Four chuckled and leaned back in his seat. "Obviously. About what?"

Part of me was grateful that he was initiating the conversation, opening the door. Another part of me was terrified of what to say and how he would respond. I puckered my lips, waiting before I looked up at him.

"About yesterday," I began, hoping this was the best place to start. Four visibly stiffened, and for a moment I thought about just dropping the subject. But then I realized I needed to say these things and I needed to know his response. "That can't happen again. At least not right now." I took a deep breath, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth for a moment. Four started to open his mouth to speak, but I shook my head to stop him. "Listen, Four, I like you. I've always liked you. You know this." He nodded slowly, his eyebrows knitting together. "I've never done a good job at hiding it."

"Tris-" Four began.

I held up my hand and said, "Just let me talk, Four." He stopped, nodding. "I've never been good at hiding my feelings for you, and it sucked, _a lot_ , when I first started working for you. I thought you might feel the same way about me and that was why you wanted me to work with you. Then you just kept dating all these other girls, so I assumed I was wrong. But then you kissed me that one night, though you probably don't remember-"

"I do remember."

His words caught me off-guard, especially with how intensely his gaze was settled on me. I swallowed, hard, before forcing myself to continue. "You kissed me, and the next day you acted like it never happened. And then you kept sending me these mixed signals, like wanting to spend time alone with me, but still constantly dating other girls. I figured you must have regretted kissing me and just wanted to be friends." I didn't miss the way Four's face contorted, a deep frown creasing his features. I continued on, though, needing to get these words out. "And then I find out you're actually officially dating someone, when I had thought you would never settle down with just one girl. Sometimes, I hate myself for wishing that you'd settled down with me instead." I pause to take a breath, continuing before Four could interrupt. "And then yesterday happened...why did you kiss me, Four? What did it mean? Why did you wait until you were in a relationship with someone else to kiss me again?"

I looked up at him now, my eyes burning like I might cry. Determined to keep my shit together, I cleared my throat and reached for my water, still pretty thirsty, and took a long drink. Now that I'd said all that, I felt a weight had fallen off my shoulders. The only problem was that the weight from my shoulders was now bearing down on my heart.

Four looked decidedly uncomfortable as I watched him. He was shifting in his seat, eyes focusing down in his lap, on the table, over at the bar, anywhere but at me. When his gaze finally did fall on me, his blue eyes were hesitant and unsure. It was interesting to watch his face, usually so guarded and closed off, change with his thoughts and emotions. He seemed to be searching my face as well, like he was hoping I would keep talking and save him from answering.

I didn't. I just continued to watch him, hoping my silence would spur him into talking at last. Four years was too long to sit in silent torture, wondering what he felt for me, hoping he felt the same way I did. Now that I'd said something, confessed that I felt something for him, I couldn't wait any longer.

Four opened his mouth like he was about to say something, then closed it again after a moment, pressing his lips together in a frustrated line. I looked at him encouragingly, hoping that my continued silence would work.

"Tris," he began, looking up at me again, his blue eyes fixing on mine. "Tris, I-"

A shout from the edge of the café interrupted us, both of our gazes turning to see Uriah waving frantically. Four turned to look at me apologetically before jumping up from his seat. I looked at the table for a moment, sighed, then grabbed my water bottle and followed him. Uriah's body language seemed urgent.

I reached him just after Four. Uriah looked at me hesitantly before speaking. "You might want to get over to the booth," he murmured, angling his body away from me like he didn't want me overhearing. "Marina and Christina were about to get into it when I left earlier. Marlene is there. It's bananas."

"Shit," Four hissed, tilting his head back. "Tris-"

I straightened my shoulders when Four looked at me. I was pretty sure he was going to ask me to stay back. "There's no way in hell, Four. Marina's your girlfriend-" He flinched a little at that "-but Christina is my friend. Deal with it."

He just nodded, apparently not in the mood to argue. We walked briskly back to the booth. We hadn't even turned the last corner before we could hear the shouting. That seemed to be the only sound echoing down the halls at this point; everyone was probably watching.

"Dammit," Four growled as we turned the corner. He ran the last few feet over to Marina and Christina.

The two girls were practically at each other's throats; I was surprised that neither of them had started pulling hair yet. Four put his arm around Marina's shoulders, trying to pull her away from Christina just as she was raising a hand. Christina didn't flinch.

"What the hell, Marina?" he asked. I ran up beside Christina; she glanced at me before glaring back at Marina again.

Marina just looked up at Four, her eyes automatically welling up with tears. "You need to get control over your merch girls!" she cried, not even trying to hide the fake tears streaming down her face.

Four looked at me and Christina; I just shrugged, but Christina started to shout again. "Excuse me? I'm pretty sure you're the one who needs to be controlled," she retorted. I touched her arm, trying to soothe her, but she shrugged away from my grasp.

"What happened?" Four asked, shifting so he was shielding us from the majority of the crowd that had gathered. Marlene was standing to one side of the booth beside Uriah. She looked relieved that Four was finally here. She was a tough girl, but I didn't know how well she could have taken on Christina if the need had arisen; Marina looked small and dainty enough that one punch would knock her out.

"I just came by to see if she needed help!" Marina whimpered, turning her eyes up to Four as more tears streamed down her face.

Christina choked out a harsh laugh. "Bullshit!" We all looked at her now. "More like came by to bitch about the merch."

"Christina," I murmured placatingly, putting my hand on her arm again.

"Seriously, Tris?" Christina turned a hard look on me. "You know she's a bitch; don't tell me you're standing up for her!"

Four frowned, not looking at me. Marina just pressed her face into his chest, sobbing loudly. I bit my lip for a moment. "I...I don't even know what was going on, Chris," I replied in an attempt to stand up for myself. I suddenly felt bad for saying the things I had about Four's girlfriend, even if they were true. Some part of him did seem to care for her, even if she was awful to him.

"I told you what was going on. She came by and started bitching about everything and how we don't do our jobs." Christina was shaking in anger now. "And she accused us of fraternizing." I didn't miss the meaningful look from her, or the slightly fearful one from Four.

I cleared my throat and looked helplessly at him. This ball was in his court. He just frowned down at Marina, who was still crying against his chest. "Let's go back to the room, Marina. We'll finish this talk there," he said as he started to pull her away.

I watched them go, taking in the apologetic look from Four first. Then I looked down at Marina, who was sneering at us like she'd won. If only she knew how right she was on one of those accounts. Or maybe she did?

When they were gone, I sat down heavily in one of the chairs. Christina remained standing but shifted her gaze to me.

"What a bitch," she growled. "I can't believe her." She paused for a moment then sat down beside me. "Tris, are you okay?"

I took a deep breath to steady myself. "What if she knows?" I whispered hoarsely. Uriah and Marlene were still standing near the booth, so I didn't want to be too loud. Still, I had to say it. "What if she knows about yesterday? Peter saw us!" I reminded her. "He could have told her!"

Christina pursed her lips a little. "I think if she knew," she murmured, "she wouldn't have taken it out on me. But that's just a guess."

I looked up at Christina, realizing she was right. Marina was not one to attack an uninvolved party. Even though Christina was my best friend, there was no way to make her guilty by association with me. Everything that was going on between me and Four was our fault and no one else's. I just wish I knew how to handle it.


	6. Sound Check

**Author's Note: Hello, lovelies. So, I forgot to tell you on Tuesday that I'm moving my updates to Tuesdays and Fridays, that way there isn't such a long wait between updates on the weekends. My bad. A few quick things before we move on to the story. The songs mentioned in this chapter are actual songs by Theo James' band, when they were together. Unfortunately, they are not actively making music. You can find the songs (and more) on youtube, which I highly recommend giving a listen. As of this chapter, we are all caught up on my lovely beta redoing all the chapters for me. She is absolutely lovely! Thank you all for being so awesome, those who review and those who lurk (I'm a lurker...). See you hopefully next update. :)**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything in the Divergent universe or the songs mentioned in this chapter, but I did think of this plot.**

* * *

 **6\. Sound Check**

The next day was much more typical for a convention. Setup and inventory went smoothly with minimal distractions from Uriah, who occasionally hung out with us on Saturday mornings since most everyone else was hung over. He never seemed to be hung over; I had begun to wonder if his regular energy level was due to a high metabolism, and if that was the source of his perkiness in the mornings.

Dauntless had a show at noon, another one at six, and then a late show at ten for a special event. This was supposed to be the busiest day of the convention, but after yesterday's odd evening rush, today would probably seem mild in comparison. Usually, I tried to make at least one of the shows, but I wasn't sure if I would be able to this weekend in case there was an emergency of some kind with the merchandise numbers. It was a minor crisis when we ran out of an item, since it was so rare that we did; while Christina was good in a crisis, I was usually called to help regardless of the situation. My quick look at the inventory at setup had shown us perilously low in a few CDs and t-shirts for Saturday morning.

Around four thirty I was yawning; we'd been up late again last night, but not from the sounds of copious lovemaking in the next room. Instead, there had been arguing well into the night. I would have almost preferred to hear Marina's fake sex noises over the accusations we could hear all throughout the night. Eventually, I'd just hidden my head under the pillow around the fifth time she'd accused Four of sleeping with some other girl.

"You look awful," Marlene said as she sat beside me behind the table. We'd been pretty dead for awhile; I was bored, and I didn't have any commissions to work on. I didn't really feel like messing around with animations, either. "Thought you might want this." She handed me a coffee.

I turned to look at Marlene as she pushed her blonde hair over her shoulder. "Thanks," I mumbled, stifling another yawn. The coffee smelled amazing. "You're a goddess." I knew I looked like hell; no amount of concealer had been good enough to hide the dark circles under my eyes. After I'd hidden my head under the pillow, only slightly drowning out the argument next door, I'd kept myself awake by wondering what Four could have been about to say before Uriah had interrupted us. I might have slept for two hours before my alarm had gone off. It had been tempting to skip breakfast.

"Rough night?" she asked, leaning back a little. We both waved to a passing cosplayer who looked vaguely familiar.

I nodded weakly, then sipped the coffee. "Yeah. Trouble in paradise next door." I didn't know how much Four might have told Zeke, who would tell Uriah, who would tell Marlene, so I tried to keep it as simple as possible.

"Oh God," Marlene moaned, "We heard them, too. Uriah had to buy us earplugs." She sighed heavily. "Any idea what that was about? It sounded pretty bad..."

I pursed my lips, stalling. I definitely knew what it had been about; Christina had given me the rundown after the fact. Marina had shown up and started screwing with the displays and criticizing everything. Then, she'd berated Christina on how she and I set up the booth and said that we were the reason sales had been so bad lately, especially since I had come back into the picture. That had been quickly followed up by the accusation of fraternization. Christina hadn't even let her finish the sentence before cutting her off from further arguments. At this point, though, I didn't know if Marlene was asking if I knew because she genuinely wanted to know, or if she was testing my knowledge of the situation.

I decided to go with a partial truth. "Christina told me that Marina came by the booth and was giving her a hard time, so they started fighting," I murmured, looking down the hallway and taking another sip of the coffee. "Four jumped in and took Marina away."

"God, I hate her. Marina, that is," Marlene said, bringing her hand to her forehead. "She's awful."

"Join the club; we all hate her, except for Four, apparently." I sighed, leaning back and shutting my eyes.

Marlene shifted beside me. "I dunno, after last night...her time might be up." She sounded entirely too hopeful. I could relate.

My phone buzzed. It was a text from Zeke. I read it, brow furrowed. He rarely ever texted me without it being some kind of emergency. ' _Can you come to the sound check? Five minutes._ ' I muttered to myself, "What the hell?" and sent a quick response to Zeke asking if he meant to text me. I received an almost instant response. ' _Yes_.'

"What?" Marlene was leaning over trying to see, but wasn't close enough to read the texts.

I looked at her, still confused. "Zeke wants me at the sound check," I told her. Sure, I had shown up to some sound checks in the past, but it was usually because I wandered by and just stayed. I couldn't remember ever being asked to appear at one.

Marlene looked nonplussed. "Huh. Want me to watch the table?"

I nodded. "If you don't mind. I'll text Christina to come around when she can. Thanks."

It took me a little more than five minutes to collect my things and head over to the stage. When I got there, security gave me a dubious look, but let me pass when Al waved me over. He was frowning at the board in front of him. I was about to ask why when I heard it.

"Whoa!" I resisted the urge to plug my ears at the dissonant tones from the stage. The music seemed to be off by about a half beat, just enough to make it sound wrong. Still, they kept playing. It was worse when Four began to sing. He didn't sound bad, just tired...maybe even dispassionate.

"He's been like that all day," Al murmured, adjusting one of the monitors. "No idea why."

I just shook my head in silent agreement. "I've never heard him like this," I whispered, almost too low to be heard over the music, if one could call it that.

As they reached the chorus, the music came to a clattering, unsynchronized halt. Four moved his hands from his guitar to his now-shaggy hair and ran his fingers through it. I could hear Eric almost shouting at him, hands gesticulating wildly. Zeke and Shauna were exchanging hesitant looks. When Zeke started looking at his phone, I pulled mine out and hoped I could text fast enough.

' _I'm here, but I don't know what you want me to do_ ,' I typed and hit send. He had just lowered his phone again but brought it back up when it vibrated.

Zeke looked up at me and smiled, looking relieved. I waved at him, confused. He started texting back. When my phone buzzed, I read his message: ' _Get the mic from Al, what's your favorite song?_ '

I was even more confused now. When I looked up at Zeke again, pointing to my phone, he just looked at me insistently. Four and Eric were still arguing. "Jeez, okay," I muttered. "Al, let me have a mic."

Al looked at me curiously for a moment before handing me one. He typically knew when to keep his mouth shut, which tended to make life a whole lot easier. "It's on," he said after tweaking the board.

I cleared my throat first to ensure my voice wouldn't decide to crack suddenly, and brought the mic to my lips. "Um, hey guys?" I began. Instantly, the arguing stopped. Eric and Four looked over at me, irritated and incredulous. "Play _Skin_." I paused, a small smirk playing on my lips. "Please," I added. I debated about telling them it was my favorite, but decided against it. In fact, I was pretty sure I'd told Four that at some point.

 _Skin_ was an acoustic number, so Eric had very little to do onstage with the bass. They usually only played this song for the Friday night crowds or secret shows, since it was an earlier song that wasn't as well-known unless you really listened to the old CDs.

There was some conversation on stage, away from the mics. It ended with Eric holding up his hands in frustration and pacing away from Four, taking off his bass and setting it on the stand. Zeke switched his electric guitar for an acoustic one while Four took his off altogether; he usually only sang on this one. It took Zeke and Al a moment to configure the acoustic pickups before Al gave him the thumbs up. "All good," Al mumbled into his mic.

Then they began to play. Four stood there for a moment, running his hands through his hair before beginning to fidget in the opening. I watched him take a deep breath, let it out slowly, relaxing. When he began to sing, gone was the near-monotone from earlier. His eyes were closed and he was moving his hands to the beat. He was genuinely feeling the music.

I was smiling when I felt Al's eyes on me. Uriah, who had shown up a few minutes ago, was also looking at me curiously. "What?" I asked them anxiously.

"What the hell did you do?" Al asked in awe.

What _had_ I done? Five minutes ago, they'd sounded terrible. Now, with just Four, Zeke, and some backup from Shauna, they sounded like I remembered them from years ago. "What do you mean?" I replied, not wanting to admit I knew what he was talking about, the effect I'd apparently had.

Al shook his head at me. "They've sounded like shit all day. Marina's been running around, bitching at them, and I'm sure that didn't help. Four finally sent her away like ten minutes before you got here. Then you show up, say a few words, and now they sound better than they have in months. What the _hell_?"

I just shrugged. "I have no idea," I murmured, though that wasn't exactly the truth. As much as I didn't want to think about it, I couldn't help it. It almost bothered me that Four would start playing better after I showed up. Almost.

* * *

Their show that night was amazing. I managed to sneak away from the table, convincing Christina to stay there this time. As I listened to the music from beside the sound booth, it was almost like hearing them for the first time again. The way they all joked with each other on stage was reminiscent of a time when we all had fewer cares, when it was more like a hobby and less like a job.

 _This is what they've been missing_ , I thought as they started to wind down. The clock next to the soundboard showed they had time for one more song, and I wondered what they were going to play. Usually they did a lot of their newer songs, which were more popular now. Their older stuff was awesome in my opinion, but it wasn't as popular in the current crowds. I had been surprised when they pulled a few of their older songs out of the hat tonight, so I was excited to know what they would play last.

"We've got time for one more song," Four said into his microphone as he adjusted the tuning on his guitar. The crowd erupted in a chorus of "Awwws," like they always did. "I'm gonna blow the dust off another old one, though, for a friend of mine. She means a lot to me, and I wanted her to hear this song again." I felt him looking at me and my breath caught in my throat. "This song is called _Can't Complain_."

As they began to play, I could feel a blush creeping up into my cheeks. I could also feel Al and Uriah watching me for a reaction, so I refused to do anything, except blush. I couldn't help that part; I just kept my gaze ahead of me, fixed on the stage.

I pursed my lips as they played. I knew this song inside and out. What was he trying to say by singing this song? The hopeless romantic in me grew hopeful at the possibilities of what he could mean; another part of me was angry. As I thought more about it and listened to the song, a heaviness welled up inside of me. Did he really think I wanted him to change for me, like the song said? Sure, I wouldn't mind if he was less of a man-whore, but would that be a change that stuck if he did it only for me? I wouldn't count on it.

If Four wanted to change, he had to change for himself, not for anyone else.

* * *

The rest of the night passed in a blur. I had to get back to the merch table and help Christina before the band arrived. There was usually a cadre of mostly teenage girls flocking around the band members, desperate for autographs and swag, so it was just better if I was already at the table and not part of the throng. Besides, I wasn't ready to look at Four yet, not after what happened at the show.

That was quickly forgotten, however, as there was a decent crowd of people at the booth, ready to buy. At this rate, I was going to have to fully restock everything. That wasn't exactly a bill I wanted to drop in anybody's lap, but I would have to do it.

It was about midnight when the crowd dispersed, and it took us another hour to put the booth to bed. Since most of us had skipped dinner, we ordered pizza to our rooms. There was a celebratory party going on in Eric's room again, along with most every other room in the hotel. Saturdays were the big party nights. The noise ran together down the hallways until it was a constant buzz of sound.

It was nearly two when I finally sat down with my laptop and a cold slice of pizza. There were a few people in the front of the room, drinking and laughing over the events of the day, so I moved into the back to place the order for inventory. We were going to be at the hotel until late checkout on Monday, after which a few of us would go to the house of a mutual acquaintance. It was one of Four's friends, Amar; most of us had an open invitation to his house, but space was limited there.

I typed in Amar's address for the inventory shipment - we were off next weekend, so I was thankful for the little break. We seriously needed the shipment as soon as possible, and Amar's would be the best place to sort the inventory. I'd sorted inventory in a hotel room before, and it had been horrible. At least at Amar's, I'd have a room I could lock while I worked, that way no one could jump on the bed and send CDs and t-shirts flying.

I was so immersed in creating the order that when the bed dipped beside me and a slightly drunk Christina leaned against my shoulder, I nearly dropped my laptop in surprise.

"Whatcha up to?" she asked, looking at the screen like it held the world's secrets.

I finished clicking a few options - it was always a little difficult to figure out what size t-shirts to order and in which styles since it varied based on demographics - before glancing at her and answering. "Inventory," I replied simply, looking back over the order.

"Sounds boring," Christina said, and started to look around the room.

My shoulders lifted in a small shrug, but a smile did creep onto my lips. "It is. But, gotta do it; it's my job." I took her cup from her and sipped: a margarita. "Who brought the tequila?" I asked, almost feeling sick at the thought of it. One bad experience had almost completely soured me on one of my favorite drinks.

"Al bought some the other day. He'll make you one of these if you want, he makes killer drinks," she murmured and brought the cups to her lips. "Speaking of killer drinks-"

I looked at her curiously, wondering where she was going with this. When sober, Christina was pretty logical and very straightforward. When she was drunk, she was still straightforward, but sometimes it was difficult to see how she connected things in her head.

"I heard Four practically dedicated a song to you!" She said, looking at me incredulously.

Okay, so maybe she wasn't _that_ drunk, but it was still a leap. I could see where she had gone with that one, though, as she used to regularly refer to Four as a "tall drink" or something stupid like that. Still, as she said those words, the anger came flooding back to me. I hit the confirm button on the order and set my laptop aside. "Yeah, he did," I muttered, then drew my bottom lip into my teeth.

Christina shifted on the bed so we were facing each other. She looked eager to hear the story. "What was that all about?" she inquired.

I frowned a little. "I honestly have no idea, Chris." I really didn't. I hadn't actually thought about it since it happened, so I hadn't had time to process it.

"Did you guys talk last night?" She nudged me like she hoped I'd have some good news to dish. She confused me sometimes, first saying that she would punch him if he was taking advantage of me, but also being incredibly supportive of us hooking up.

I nodded a few times, then shrugged. "Yeah, kind of," I replied, grabbing her margarita and stealing another sip. "More like I talked, really. Then Uriah had to get us since you and Marina got into it." I tried to say that with as little irritation as possible, though I still really wanted to know what Four had to say about it all.

Christina winced a little, giving me an apologetic look. "Sorry about that," she murmured. "She's really a bitch, though." We paused for a moment before she went on. "What did you say to him?"

A sigh escaped me softly. "I basically asked him why the hell he had to wait until he was dating some awful girl to want to kiss me again." I ran my fingers through my hair, tugging a little to relieve some stress. "And I told him that him kissing me couldn't happen again while he's still with Marina; it isn't fair to any of us." Again, I was less concerned about her than I was the two of us. I didn't want Four to be in a position where he was cheating on her; I also didn't want him to think I was okay with cheating, especially if we ever ended up dating.

Christina continued to look at me like she was waiting for me to keep talking.

"I mean, it isn't fair," I said again. "If he thinks it's okay to cheat on her, what if he and I ever get together?" I lifted one shoulder in another shrug. Christina just nodded a little, taking in my words. "What still gets me, though, is why he waited this long to do anything. And he's never outright said if he has any feelings for me. He just kisses me, and gives me these looks and stuff."

"That's kind of how he operates," Christina threw in, nodding sagely. "I mean, when he and I got together, there really was no, 'Hey, I like you, wanna fuck?' One night we were drunk in his room and he started kissing me; next thing you know, we're fuck buddies." She said all this nonchalantly, like it hadn't torn her apart when it was happening.

I frowned some more, taking another swig from the drink. It was nearly empty. Thoughts from that night two years ago were swirling in my brain. Would I have just been another notch on his bedpost if we'd been able to keep going? I had no reason to believe it would have been any different then, nor did I have a reason to think so right now. As far as I knew, he just wanted some variety in the bedroom and figured I was good for that.

Or, I could be the one who got away...

I let out another sigh, larger this time, and shook my head. "I don't know, Christina," I said at last, scooting down the bed. "I mean, I really want to think he isn't taking advantage of me, but I just don't know."

Christina set the now-empty cup aside and scooted down with me. I wasn't big on a lot of personal affection, but there were a few people who I would allow to invade my space, Christina being one of them. "Well, you guys should try to talk again. I'll try not to get into a fight with his girlfriend this time."

This made us both laugh a little. Then my smile dropped and I bit my lower lip. "We're going to dinner on Monday," I murmured, not meeting Christina's gaze.

She sat up immediately, looking down at me with wide eyes and a slightly open mouth. "Girl!" Her hands went around a pillow and she smacked me with it. "What were you just saying about not wanting him to cheat!"

I held up my hands to protect myself from the pillow until she stopped beating me with it. "Hey!" I laughed, grabbing the pillow and yanking it from her hands. "He's been wanting to take me to dinner since I got back," I reasoned, sitting up on my elbows. "I just finally agreed is all. And it isn't a date!" I held up one finger to silence her. "This is just to catch up on stuff."

Christina gave me a skeptical look, and I knew she really didn't believe me. "Uh-huh, just to catch up," she repeated, rolling her eyes. "If I fell for that line every time, Tris, I'd have gotten laid more than a dozen times."

I looked at her before saying, deadpan, "But you have gotten laid more than a dozen times."

Her jaw dropped in shock before she grabbed another pillow and hit me with it. "Cheeky!"

Our pillow fight lasted for a few more minutes before we both gave up, breathing heavily. We fell back on the bed, trying to catch our breath. Will came in and looked at us oddly for a moment. "Did I miss you two doing something incredibly sexy just now? Please tell me I didn't, unless you took pictures."

Christina threw a pillow at him, but missed terribly. "Shush, you," she muttered. "We had a sexy pillow fight without you, though. Enjoy imagining that one."

We all laughed for a few moments before I sobered. I was jealous of their easy relationship, on and off as it may be. Unfortunately, I doubted anything like that would ever happen with Four. It seemed like nothing would ever be easy with him.


	7. Dinner

**Author's Note: Hi guys! So, sorry it's almost two days late. I kind of decided to just do this one update this week, for various reasons. I want to be able to get ahead of the writing again a little bit. I won't give you guys all kinds of excuses, unless you want them. Just an apology for not updating, and not letting you guys know about this decision. I think I'm going to have to revive my tumblr for you guys about updates that way we can communicate a little easier! Keep an eye on my profile for that. Anyways, I want to give a big thanks to BK2U for editing this chapter! She's wonderful! So this is the long awaited dinner. And I'm going to apologize in advance for the lag between chapters, but next chapter will definitely make up for it. I hope. Anyways, enjoy, lovelies! Thanks so much for all the reviews! You're amazing.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the Divergent Universe, but I did think of this plot.**

* * *

 **7\. Dinner**

When I finally crawled out of bed mid-Monday morning, I could feel the heaviness of the weekend weighing me down. Sunday had gone as I'd expected, considering how the previous two days had gone. We were almost completely out of stock now; only a few bumper stickers, shirts, and key chains remained. I hadn't seen our stock this low before, and while it was great for sales, I was still confused. Were we reaching that point in popularity that we needed to carry more stock overall? Or had this weekend just been a fluke, a one-time occurrence of selling out of practically everything?

I hadn't seen much of Four on Sunday. Typically, there are only two shows on the last day of a convention, and he would usually slip by the booth for at least an hour between them. At the very least, he'd bring us lunch. This time, he only sent a text - to Christina - to ask what we wanted; Will showed up with it a little while later. I wasn't sure if Four was keeping his distance because of the things that had happened over the weekend or if Christina had said something to him again.

Or, I thought, he might be trying to play nice with Marina. I really hoped he wasn't, because she was awful.

When I walked back into the room after my shower, I had a text message from Four. _Still on for dinner tonight?_

I pursed my lips. He was giving me an out. Did he not want to have dinner tonight? I shook my head; he would have just said so if he'd wanted to cancel. Had he told Marina about our dinner tonight and she was making him text me? Did he want me to cancel?

I started to type my response, writing and erasing a handful of times. I groaned in frustration then just typed, _Sure. Have a restaurant in mind?_ and hit the send button.

Anxiety began to build in me, but I tried to push it away. I had to talk to him. As much as there was a part of me that dreaded hearing what he had to say, for various reasons, a bigger part of me just needed to know. I was tired of living in the dark with him. It didn't even matter what he ended up saying, really. I just needed to know whether he thought there was anything between us, or if he wanted there to be an 'us' at all. I also had a lot to say to him, too; I wasn't just going to let things remain the way they were. I wasn't even sure if Four was right for me, not with how he'd been treating his relationship with Marina. I wouldn't allow myself to be treated like that, not again.

Four's reply came a few minutes later. _I know a place._ Again, I wondered if he had been hoping I would cancel, for one reason or another.

With a stern look at my phone, I shook my head. Well, if that was what he was hoping for, too bad.

It was almost seven and I still wasn't sure if I was dressed appropriately for dinner with Four, who was still my boss after all. Christina had thrown one of her dresses at me at first, a sleek black number that was short to begin with, but which also had a slit up both sides. I had to remind her that I was trying to _talk_ with Four, not seduce him. Her response had been something impolite, and another dress. This one was closer to appropriate, but not quite what I was looking for. It had a low, v-shaped neckline and a lot of gathering, but it still didn't feel right.

Christina finally groaned in frustration. "I don't carry my entire wardrobe with me, Tris!" she had cried in exasperation. I was honestly surprised she'd had those two dresses packed in the first place.

"What about that one top, babe?" Will had suggested from the doorway. "The blue one with the lace."

Christina's face had lit up at the memory of the top. And that was how I found myself dressed now. I wore a fitted, royal blue top with lace that covered my shoulders. We paired it with some black jeans; we weren't sure who had originally purchased them, but they fit both of us perfectly, so we shared.

We were all at Amar's house now. We checked out of the hotel around 2:00 and caravanned over, reaching his place around 3:30. He lived in a secluded neighborhood outside of town with lots of trees screening the view of the road. His house was decently sized with enough crash space for a few of us, though a couple took floor space. In exchange for letting us stay in his home, Amar usually had us help with renovations; it was common that some room or section was in a state of disrepair that eventually looked better than new when we were done with it.

I made my way out to the cars, hopping into the one Christina, Will, and I shared. Four left earlier to drop Marina off at her friend's house, and texted me the address of the restaurant where I should meet him. Now that I was on the way, I was nervous. I didn't want to talk about the things we needed to while we were eating, but I was also unsure of how to bring them up afterwards.

A long sigh escaped me when I made it into town, navigating the unfamiliar roads in the gathering twilight. When the restaurant came into view, nestled between two other buildings, I was pleased to see an open spot right in front. After doing conventions for so many years with limited parking spaces, I now appreciated close parking much more.

Four had chosen a Japanese place. Judging by the location, it seemed to almost literally be a hole in the wall. Still, I walked through the doors, looking around until I saw him near the back, one hand in the air to get my attention. I waved briefly then began to pick my way through the dining area. For being a narrow building, it was certainly long enough.

"Did you find the place okay?" Four asked as I approached. He held my chair for me as I sat.

I nodded at him when he sat across from me. "Yeah, the GPS was pretty good at navigating for me," I replied, smiling a little. I was nervous about this dinner. I wasn't sure if it was because we were going to talk eventually, or if it was because it seemed like a date. It hadn't bothered me in the past when we'd gone to get lunch together, but things were different now. Although it seemed like forever ago, it had only been Thursday when he'd kissed me.

"This is one of Amar's favorite places," Four was saying, his eyes scanning the menu.

I just nodded, also perusing the menu in front of me. Four had already ordered tea for us, though he seemed not to have touched it. I poured myself a small cupful, then turned my gaze back to the food options before me. The menu had typical fare for a little Japanese restaurant; some things I recognized, others I didn't. When I saw the selection of sushi, though small, I smiled.

"How's the sushi here? Did Amar say?" I asked, already mentally deciding what I would order. It was a profitable weekend; I could afford it.

Four glanced up at me for a moment, then back down at the page. "He said it's pretty good, though he did say to stay away from the cuttlefish," he warned with a grimace.

I furrowed my brow a little. "Cuttlefish hasn't been on my list of things to try," I murmured, "So, no worries there."

Our server, a petite Asian girl, came by the table, so Four and I gave our orders. When she left, there was a heavy silence over the table, now that there was no menu to distract us from the awkwardness that had developed over the weekend. I avoided Four's gaze for a few moments, looking at the decorations between us and the obligatory fish tank found in every Asian restaurant; anywhere but at him. When I finally hazarded a glance at him, he seemed to be just as preoccupied, only his eyes were trained on his lap.

I reached for my tea, and the movement seemed to break whatever spell was surrounding us. Four cleared his throat and leaned forward onto the table. His eyes settled on me, soft but inquiring.

"So, how's your mom doing? Have you heard from Caleb recently?" he asked, fiddling with his chopsticks.

I replaced my teacup on the table, finally looking up at him fully. "I talked to him yesterday afternoon," I answered, noticing how stiff my voice was. "He said that she saw her doctor again. She's still improving, but not quite as well as the doctors would like."

There was a brief pause between us before he spoke up again. "Do you need to go back to visit?" His voice was hesitant, almost like he hated to ask.

Gently, I shook my head. "No," I said quietly, pushing the little dish of soy sauce around in front of me. "Things still seem okay, for now. Though I think that when we're in Chicago for the convention, I'd like to take those days off to spend with my family."

Four reached across the table and grabbed my hand. "Of course, Tris," he murmured, rubbing his thumb over my hand.

With a slight grimace, I pulled my hand away from his. As much as I wanted to feel his fingers around mine, I just couldn't. I couldn't handle the way it made me feel, knowing at the same time that it was so wrong. It wasn't fair to either of us for him to put us in that position. "Please don't do that, Four." I looked away from him, my eyes dropping back down to my place setting. When I glanced back up, he was frowning a little at his own hands.

We were silent for a few minutes, the moment hanging over us once again. I knew he could tell I was upset; I thought he might be, too, though I wasn't quite sure why _he_ was upset. He certainly didn't have any justification for feeling that way based on my turning down his intimate gesture.

"So how did yesterday go?" He asked after some time had passed. His voice was light, trying to bridge the previous awkwardness.

I set my teacup down on the table again, clearing my throat after I swallowed some of the hot liquid. "It went really well. We're almost completely out of, like, everything," I began with a smile, folding my hands in my lap. "Though the new order should be in by Friday at Amar's. I ordered a little extra, just to see how next time will go."

Four nodded, sipping his water. "Good to hear."

I paused for a moment, putting my hands around my cup now. I couldn't keep still. "I didn't see you much yesterday," I pointed out hesitantly. I was possibly opening up a door that I wouldn't be able to close delicately.

This time, Four cleared his throat. "Yeah," he murmured, eyes down on the table. "I was... _busy_ most of yesterday. Marina was upset about some things."

It still hurt. Even after these two, almost three months, the pain bloomed around my heart, clenching tightly. I hated how it made me feel, and as much as I tried to tell myself to get over it, I simply couldn't.

"I'm sorry." I was unsure of what else to say.

Four shrugged. "It's...whatever," he muttered. "She was still upset about the fight with Christina, and...some other things." He trailed off like he wasn't sure if he should say what was on his mind. He took a deep breath, drawing himself up a little. "So she's staying at her friend's house for the next few nights. She wanted 'space'."

I was incredibly uncomfortable talking about Marina. He knew how I felt about her, how most of us felt about her. Hell, he probably even knew that most of us wondered why she was still hanging around. I wondered if anyone had ever dared to ask him, like maybe Zeke.

I was saved from having to respond when the server returned with our food. She placed beef and lo mein noodles in front of Four, and hibachi chicken, fried rice, and some sushi rolls in front of me. My mouth began to water a little at the sight of the rolls. Hopefully Amar's assessment of this place was correct; it had been entirely too long since I'd had good sushi.

We ate in silence for a few moments, enjoying the first couple bites of our food, before Four spoke up again. "So, what else did you do while you were in Chicago?" he asked, pushing his noodles around on his plate.

I swallowed the piece of chicken I'd been chewing on, then looked over at him. "Not much," I answered. "At first, I spent a lot of time in the hospital with Mom when she was there, making sure that she was taken care of properly." I watched him nod for a moment before continuing. "When she was in rehab, one of us was there almost all the time, so Caleb, Dad, and I would switch off. When we weren't at the rehab center, then we were sleeping. And if we weren't sleeping, then we were trying to keep the house running."

Four nodded as he shoved noodles into his mouth. I couldn't help the slight grin that crossed my lips at the sight.

"So, not a lot of time for anything else," I finished, my grin disappearing. "Just a lot of housework and hospital time." When I looked at Four again, he was wearing a sad expression, like he was about to say something far too kind. I didn't want him to pity me, so I spoke up before he could, hoping to steer the topic away, "What about you guys? What'd you all do?"

He shifted in his seat a little, then took a sip of water before speaking. "Same ol'," he answered. "Hit a bunch of conventions, traveled everywhere." He paused for a moment then looked up. "Missed you."

I bit my lip, wondering if this was my moment. Whether or not it was, I had to say something. "Listen, Four," I began, setting my chopsticks down on their holder. "I don't know...I don't know if there's something between us, but it can't happen, okay? We're friends. You're dating someone else, and it isn't right what you're doing."

He looked at me, brow furrowed for a moment. "What am I doing?" he asked, though he didn't sound inquisitive so much as challenging.

Frustration began to build up in me. "Really? You really have to ask? Let's see, for years you've been the biggest fucking tease to ever walk the face of the planet, and it's even worse because you _know_ I like you. Then you start dating probably the most horrible person you could ever find - seriously, why are you guys together? And then to top it all off, you disrespect both of us by kissing me and flirting with me _all_ the time." I couldn't stop the words from spilling out now even if I wanted to; they were just flowing from me after having sat on them for so long. "You want to know what you are doing? You're fucking over your chances of ever being in a stable, healthy relationship - with anyone. _That's_ what you're doing, Four."

When I stopped talking, I looked down at my hands for a moment; they were shaking. Then I looked back up at Four, who was just staring at me with his mouth slightly open. He shut his mouth, then clenched his jaw so tight I could see the muscles in his cheeks twitching.

"Tris, I-"

"If you're going to apologize, Four," I interrupted, "I don't want to hear it. I just want you to know that whatever feelings you might have for me? You need to validate them some other way - some way in which you _aren't_ cheating on your girlfriend. But even then, I'm not sure I'd let you, if that's an example of how you respect a relationship." His gaze hardened on me. I stood, my mostly finished food forgotten now. "I'm going back to Amar's. I'll see you tomorrow." Before I walked away, I pulled a twenty out of my pocket and threw it on the table. I was unwilling to let this be considered a bad date, and he couldn't call it one if I paid for my own meal, right?

I had almost made it to the car when I heard him behind me, calling my name. I tried to ignore him as I unlocked the car, but he grabbed my arm, pulling me back to him.

"What the fuck, Tris?" he asked, incredulous. He'd apparently found his tongue at last. "What was that in there?"

I frowned at him. "What did it sound like?" I mimicked his tone from before, when he'd asked me an obvious question. "That was me giving a shit and finally standing up for myself, for once. I can't let things happen between us anymore, Four. I don't like Marina, so this isn't about her. It's about me. I have to respect myself, and by letting you use me as some side piece, that is the opposite of self-respect."

"Tris, I-"

I cut him off again, irate. "Listen, Four. I've been fucked over way too many times in the past to let it happen again. So you need to make up your mind what you want to do, but I'm not guaranteeing I'll have anything to do with it. If you want to try, then stop being a coward."

He frowned more deeply at me and I yanked my arm out of his grasp. Even when I was mad as hell, his touch still affected me in ways I didn't want to think about right now.

When he was quiet for a few more moments, I started to turn. I didn't say anything as I slid into the car. He was still standing there when I drove away, staring after the taillights.

When I got back to Amar's house, Christina was waiting for me, sitting on the twin bed in the room I'd claimed. Ordinarily, I'd have made some snarky comment about her presence here instead of with Will, but I was still too angry. She must have been able to tell, too, based on how she watched me move around the room. She was quiet, which was highly unusual for her.

I changed into pajamas, not caring that she was still in the room. Then I went into the bathroom attached to both this room and the one she was in and brushed my teeth and removed my makeup. It was only when I sat down on the bed beside her that whatever spell she was under seemed to break.

"What the hell happened?" she asked, shifting a little beside me.

I grabbed the pillow and hugged it close to my chest. "I stood up for myself," I answered, resting my chin against the pillow.

Christina looked at me, confused. "Um, okay. Why did you have to stand up for yourself?" Her tone was uncertain, like she wasn't sure if she was going to have to hit someone for me or not.

Before I had a chance to reply, the front door slammed, shaking the house. I glanced at Christina to see if she'd put the pieces together. Her jaw dropped a little and she looked at me. "What the hell?"

"I told him I was tired of him toying with me and I wouldn't be his side piece," I replied at last, hugging the pillow tighter.

"What the hell did he do?" she asked incredulously.

I thought back to the dinner. He really hadn't done anything. He just tried to hold my hand and told me he missed me while I was gone. I told this to Christina, then looked away sheepishly. "I may have overreacted a little, though, because I totally blew up on him." Feeling slightly embarrassed, I recounted what I'd said to Four, hiding myself in the pillow more and more as Christina's mouth opened further and further. My anger had dwindled now, especially after I repeated everything I'd said.

"Damn, girl!" Christina exclaimed, shoving my arm. "Damn. I wish I'd been there for that." She chuckled a little. "Good for you, though. It's about time someone put him in his place."

Still, even though I was proud to have stood up for myself, especially considering all the times I hadn't in my life, I felt a little awful for how I'd just exploded over dinner.

"Do you think I was too harsh?" I asked, pursing my lips. She seemed to consider for a moment, so I continued. "I mean, I did just kind of say all those things without any provocation..."

Christina shook her head. "I don't think you need to apologize, at least not for saying what you did. I'm proud of you for sticking up for yourself, Tris. If you hadn't said something, I was going to on your behalf." She paused. "I think you said all the right things."

I nodded a little. I felt a little better, but not by much. Part of me wondered if I should quit working for him, even though I enjoyed this job so much. Not many people could talk to their boss that way and get away with it...

"I think I'm going to lay down," I murmured. I had no intention of sleeping, though; I was too wound up still to do that. I had a few books to read.

Christina nodded and pushed up from the bed. "Okay," she replied softly. "If you need anything...well, just knock first." She winked at me and I tried not to think about what she was implying.

The comfort of the bed was welcome as I climbed under the covers. It smelled like a home instead of a hotel: a smell I sorely missed.


	8. Break

**Author's Note: Hello lovelies! Thank you all for being so understanding and patient with me. You guys are so awesome. I totally didn't plan for it to happen this way, but this is a chapter that a lot of you have been waiting for! It is also the first chapter written in Four's POV, so if you were doubting my 'M' rating, he earns it here for language. Just a heads up. A few things before the chapter, if you guys read this. First, there is a quote in here from Bob Marley. Then, this chapter title is also the title of one of ShereKhan's songs (Theo James' band), and I really love it, so I hope you guys do too. And a huge, wonderful thanks to BK2U for editing this chapter for me. She's wonderful, guys, really. She's going through my earlier chapters and spiffing them up a bit for me. Anyways, enjoy the chapter.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own The Divergent Trilogy or anything from its universe, but I did think of this plot.**

* * *

 **8\. Break - FOUR POV**

The next few days were awkward, to say the least. It was hard being around someone in a house where you were expected to sit together for meals, laugh along with them when joking, or work near them when they wouldn't speak to you. Still, we went out of our way to not sit near each other or even look at each other. Pretending nothing had happened wasn't easy, but I was good at it by this point. It was something that had become second nature.

Besides, it seemed like that's what _she_ wanted to do this time.

In the past when things had happened between us, I'd been the one to act like things were normal. I hadn't missed her obvious discomfort around me, so I'd thought acting like it hadn't been a big deal would make it easier for her, that maybe she'd relax around me and we would just slip into comfortable companionship. But now that I was on the receiving end of it, I realized how wrong I'd been.

I'd tried to speak to her the next day, but she'd wanted nothing to do with me. So maybe things weren't normal, since she would ordinarily have laughed at my stupid jokes or been happy to help me with painting benches to go around Amar's fire pit. What she was doing instead was outright ignoring me, making it clear she was beyond angry with me. I had no idea how to handle it.

Whenever I had a free moment in my head, which was often, Tris's words would play through my mind like a track on repeat. Each time I listened to it in my head, it felt like a smack in the face, over and over. Everything she'd said about me was true. It wasn't that I was surprised by any of it now that she'd pointed it out, I was just having a hard time swallowing my pride and admitting to myself how much of an asshole I'd been to her.

I kept thinking back to the kiss in the hot tub. It had been a spur of the moment kiss, one I hadn't really regretted at the time. Now that I thought about it from a different angle, I realized it had been for all the wrong reasons, in every way possible. I'd been frustrated over the argument Marina and I had just had - ironically, about Tris and Christina as merch girls - and had just wanted to swim until all the frustration had worn off. But then she'd been there, stormy eyes looking up at me hesitantly, then all at once playfully.

I was an asshole. There was no way around it. I was an asshole, just like my father.

I shook my head again and looked back at the task in front of me. I'd taken on the job of repairing drywall in a bathroom; it was a small enough room that no one could really help, so I was happily alone.

Tris was right. I was fucking up my chances at a normal relationship. The problem was, I'd never even had one, had never seen one up close to get a good idea of what one looked like. My whole teenaged to adult life I'd bounced from girl to girl, restlessly pursuing something meaningful that the next one always seemed to have, until I got closer. Eventually, I realized it was only a reflection of my unfulfilled wants and needs that I was chasing. Still, I fell for it every time a new girl came around. Each time, I saw what looked like safety, security, and belonging in a girl, and each time I was wrong.

This time, though, I had just been _really_ wrong. Marina was far from a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day even when she was in a good mood. She was naggy and nitpicky, quick to judge, and quick to find fault in others. It was difficult to remember what I'd seen in her, but as I thought about it, I realized it had been her resemblance to Tris. The blonde hair, the short stature; though Marina was much more "well-endowed" than Tris, that didn't mean much to me.

I sighed, scraping the excess spackle from the wall. Tris. Things were probably fucked up royally between us, even considering just our friendship. Part of me was expecting her to tell me she was leaving, for good this time. Another part of me was expecting her to just go, telling everyone else goodbye except for me because of how I'd treated her. I deserved it.

I felt like I couldn't help myself around her. The pull I felt toward Tris, had always felt toward her, was too much to resist. When she'd been gone for those six months in Chicago, I'd likened it to something along the lines of hell. I hadn't realized how much I'd come to rely on her presence. It was only when she'd left that I had finally realized what I felt for her. I'd been lonely; in hindsight it really hadn't been a good idea to just get a new "fucktoy", as Christina called them, each time I felt that way. Even after picking up Marina, I'd still been miserable, because the time I was able to spend with Tris, even as friends, was what grounded me. She was just so genuine; she never put on a face around me, at least not before, and she had never outwardly judged me.

If only she knew.

The corner of the blade gouged the spackle a little; I swore under my breath and went about fixing it.

Befriending Tris all those years ago had been both the best and worst thing I'd ever done. I'd originally thought she had a thing for me, and that was why I'd invited her to come tour with us over the summer, to see where things might go between us. I'd only invited Christina along because I felt it would have been awkward to not invite her. Then, over the next week or two, Tris hadn't seemed as interested as I'd thought; I'd interpreted her behavior around me to be that of a friend.

And then Cuervo had happened, along with Christina. And then it had happened again, sober. I would be the first to admit I had little to no restraint when it came to women. It wasn't a trait I was particularly proud to claim.

As I thought of the string of girls I'd fucked, mostly girls whose names or faces I couldn't remember, I realized it was no wonder Tris had been so mad at me. Not only had I kissed her while dating someone else, I'd _always_ been dating someone else, but had been trying to be with her at the same time.

"Goddammit," I muttered, scraping away at the wall roughly. "Idiot."

I wanted to be with Tris. There was no denying it. I'd probably completely fucked it up now, though. There couldn't be any coming back from what I'd done to her over the last four years, especially the last two months. In fact, there was probably a special circle of hell for people like me.

She was right. I was a coward. There was a quote, I was sure of it, that said something along the lines of 'the biggest coward is the man who awakens a woman's love without the intention of loving her.' Had I been doing that to her this whole time?

I swiped heavily against the wall again, swearing once more. Then I swore again when I saw the figure standing in the doorway, eyeing me curiously.

"What the fuck, Zeke," I gasped, glaring at him as my heart rate slowly began to return to normal. "Don't sneak up on me like that."

Zeke just shrugged. "Amar was right; you definitely have been distracted. Usually you notice someone _before_ they're within five feet of you. I probably could've killed you if I'd wanted."

I didn't validate that with a response, only another glare, then started to inspect for more spots in need of attention.

"So what's on your mind, Four?" Zeke crossed his arms over his chest, watching me intently.

I frowned, my lips pursed and brows knitted together. I tried to tell myself it was a look of concentration, but when I caught my reflection in the mirror, I saw it wasn't convincing at all. It was a look of being absolutely pissed off with just about everything in the entire universe. "None of your goddamned business," I muttered back, poking at a spot on the wall that may or may not need my attention more than Zeke's questions.

Zeke was having none of it, though. He rolled his eyes at me and began loudly, "We both know that ain't true, man. Tell me, is it girl problems? Is Marina holding out on the cat?"

When I looked at him this time, it was with less frustration and more murder in my glare. When I'd slept with Marina the other night, it hadn't exactly been my choice. She'd sort of climbed on top of me and my dick had just responded. I hadn't enjoyed it one bit, at least I tried to tell myself that. It was difficult to not enjoy sex sometimes.

"Fuck you, man," I growled at Zeke, flinging some spackle at him.

"Hey!" Zeke jumped out of the way quickly, holding his hands up in mock surrender. "My bad, man. Didn't know things were so sensitive. Could it be a problem between you and a much nicer, albeit less busty blonde?"

I clamped my lips shut, my gaze turned away again. He always knew. He _always_ fucking knew. I never had to say anything; he just read my mind or something.

"I knew it. You guys have barely talked lately. Didn't you go to dinner with her the other night?" Zeke asked, folding his arms across his chest again.

Briefly, I nodded, eyeing the wall again. That spot definitely needed spackle. "We did."

"How'd that go?" he pressed, sounding hopeful.

"How do you think it went? It was like a unicorn shit rainbows everywhere, minus the unicorns and rainbows," I snarled. "I don't want to talk about it, Zeke."

"Touchy," Zeke murmured, rolling his eyes at me dramatically. "So really, though, what's going on with you and Marina? She's seemed...extra bitchy lately, if you don't mind me saying so."

I only gave him a sidelong look. On the one hand, as her boyfriend, I probably shouldn't let Zeke talk about her that way, but on the other hand, he was right. "And?" I merely asked, not trying to deny his description of her demeanor.

"Any reason why?" He paused for only a moment before speaking up again. "In fact, her mood seems to have changed since Tris came back. While she hadn't exactly been a winner before, she is even less so now."

A sigh escaped my lips. I really should care more about my friend trash-talking my girlfriend. But was it really trash-talking when he was right? "Again...and?" I set the can of spackle and the blade down, hard, on the counter. "Marina's a bitch, I know. Everyone knows. Nothing I can really do about it."

Zeke seemed to think for a moment about his words before nodding. "Well, actually, there is," he said softly, looking at me meaningfully.

I knew what he was suggesting. I should just dump her, like I did with all the other girls. It just wasn't that simple, though.

When I didn't respond, Zeke scoffed at me. "C'mon, man, she's no good for you. She's no good for anybody. You don't see it, because it's happening to you, but she's changed you, man, and not for the better. She's just no good, period."

Zeke was right, and I knew it. It killed me to not tell him, though. He had no idea how much I wanted to just get rid of Marina, drop her off at the nearest bus station without so much as a backward glance, and beg Tris to forgive me. Again, it wouldn't be that easy getting rid of her...

"I know, Zeke," was all I said, looking back at the wall even though there was nothing else to fix now. If only everything could be so easily repaired.

* * *

The next morning, I woke to several texts and missed calls from Marina. There was also a voicemail from Eric. He wasn't staying at Amar's; he apparently had other friends in the area who'd offered to put him up for the time being. I was worried when I saw that he'd called and left his message at two in the morning.

Eric wasn't the nicest guy, nor was he anything near what I'd call a good friend, but he was a sick bass player and had some decent tunes to offer. We'd started Dauntless a few years ago in his garage when he'd moved to Chicago from Michigan, playing mostly acoustic stuff until I'd convinced Zeke and Shauna to join. They got on less well with Eric than I did, but we meshed well together on stage, and that was what mattered to me.

I rolled over on the bed, still holding my phone as I scrolled through Marina's texts.

 _Why were you out with that bitch?_ 'That bitch' was her not-so-affectionate term for Tris.

 _I know you were out to dinner with her. Are you sneaking around behind my back?_

 _Answer your phone._

 _I deserve to know why you think it's okay to go to dinner with some girl and not tell me?_

 _Answer your goddamned phone._

Her voicemails were more of the same, but instead of reading words in a monotone, I had a front row seat to her shrieking louder and louder in each voicemail. I deleted each one as I listened to it. Despite the irritation I felt at her insistent messages, there was a ball of anxiety growing in me as I got closer to Eric's message. I really wanted to know why he had called, or why he hadn't texted instead.

When his message began to play, I was initially confused. There was silence, then the sound of scuffling, like he'd pocket-dialed me. I was tempted to just delete the message, assuming that's all it was, but I kept listening to be sure.

Then I heard voices, distant and a little muffled, but I could make out the words if I listened hard enough.

"...can't believe he hasn't figured it out yet..."

"...not the smartest..."

"You weren't kidding."

That was Marina's voice, I was sure of it. What had Marina been doing with Eric at two in the morning? And who had they been talking about?

"...even more surprised...still letting you hold that over..."

I wanted to delete the message. This was obviously a private conversation, but somehow I knew it was about me. I had to keep listening.

They talked for another few moments, words quieter and mostly inaudible until I heard a very different sound, one I unfortunately knew entirely too well.

Marina. I heard her moans, suddenly loud and so false. The squeak of a shitty mattress mixed with her noises. Then I heard Eric, groaning. I felt sick.

The sounds went on for a few more moments before the voicemail ended, reaching its maximum length. I still couldn't move, even as my cell phone was asking if I wanted to replay, save, or delete the message. I didn't know if I could stomach hearing it again. I knew what I'd heard, there was no denying it, so I clicked off the phone, not doing anything with the message yet.

Instead, I forced myself out of bed and down the hall into the shower. I was operating on autopilot as I stood under the scalding hot water, scrubbing my skin until it was pink and raw. I didn't bother shaving, because I would probably just cut myself and bleed out on the shower floor.

The more I stared at the razor, the better that idea seemed right now.

A knock at the door brought me out of my morbid reverie. I abruptly shut off the taps, remembering that there were other people who probably wanted to shower in the morning. I felt numb as I toweled off, even though my skin was probably still hot to the touch, then pulled on some clothes. The mirror hadn't even begun to defog when I went to open the door.

I ran bodily into Christina as I turned sharply toward the room I'd claimed. Automatically, I reached out to grab her arm, steadying her. I still felt like shit for what had happened between us, at least whenever I thought about it.

"Sorry," I muttered, making sure she was set on her feet before starting to walk by her.

"Damn, Four, you look rough," she replied, looking at me pityingly. "What happened?"

I wasn't sure how she could tell something was wrong, so I decided to deflect. "You seen Zeke yet?" I asked, turning only halfway so all she saw was my side profile.

"Not yet, but he might be in the kitchen making breakfast," she offered, voice hesitant. "Sure you're okay?"

Again, I ignored her question, instead thanking her and disappearing through the hallways. I hoped against hope that I wouldn't run into anyone else, literally or figuratively, before I found Zeke.

As probably the first thing to go right in my day so far, I did find him in the kitchen. He was standing beside Shauna, watching her as she mixed pancake batter in a bowl. They both started to smile at me, until they saw my expression. I could feel it on my face now, the wounded look mixed with horror. It was probably a scary sight.

Zeke excused himself from Shauna's side and walked over to me. "What is it?" he asked, tone unsure and automatically stressed. It was rare that I showed any strong emotion, choosing instead to maintain a nonchalant facade.

I didn't know what to say, how to even begin. I puzzled over my words for a few seconds before I brought up the voicemail and offered it to him. His face went from confusion to concentration to revulsion as he attempted to make out the words and realized what the last few seconds were.

"Dude," he muttered, staring at the phone in shock. "What the fuck...?" He held it out, away from him like it was some dreadful thing.

And at this moment, it was. It was probably the most repugnant thing in the room. Gingerly, I accepted it from his stiff fingers. The thought of throwing it across the room seemed appealing for a few moments, but I discarded it. I was possibly going to need that message later...

"What is it?" Shauna asked, hesitantly stepping up beside Zeke. Her gaze traveled between us for a few moments before finally settling on her boyfriend.

Zeke was looking at me now, waiting to see my response. I sighed deeply, debating on whether or not to share. With just Zeke knowing, I knew this would stay between us. He didn't always keep my secrets, but this one, he knew better. Shauna was pretty tight-lipped, too, when matters were serious. This was serious, indeed.

I didn't want her to hear the message. Part of me wanted to protect her from the vileness of it. It was bad enough that the words were stuck in my brain, playing on a loop. I could hear Marina's moans filling my head and I couldn't block out the image of her and Eric together. She didn't need to hear it, too.

"It's a voicemail," I began shakily, praying that I could keep it together under her soft, sad gaze, "of Eric and Marina." I paused, then forced out the word, " _together_."

Bile rose in my throat but I forced it back. Shauna looked at me, confused for a moment before it dawned on her. Then her eyes widened, shock blooming across her face. Her hands went to her mouth, covering her gasp. When one hand reached out to my arm, a comforting gesture, I had to fight the urge to shirk away from her touch. She was only trying to be kind.

"Oh my God," she mumbled, still looking shocked.

"What are you gonna do, man?" Zeke asked after a few moments, stepping back over to the bar to start working on breakfast again. "I mean, you have to do something."

"I know," I murmured, nodding.

"You can't just let that shit slide."

Again, I nodded and repeated, "I know," a little more forcefully.

"I was telling you, man, she is bad for you," Zeke went on, stirring the pancake mix a little more.

Something snapped inside me. "Goddammit, Zeke, I know!" I shouted, turning to punch the wall.

Silence spread across the room. Part of me knew that my reaction had been a little over the top, but hearing Zeke continue on had woken up the anger inside me. When I pulled my fist away from the wall, there was an imprint left from the impact. My knuckles were split and stinging, but I ignored it. My gaze leveled on them for a few moments before I heard a tsking sound behind me.

Amar stood there, arms folded across his chest, shaking his head. "Now the question is," he began, "do I make Four fix the wall? Or do I keep that hole there as a testament to what happens when Four gets mad?" While the tone in his voice was trivial, the look on his face was anything but. It was a mixture of concern and alarm. He knew how rare it was for me to actually lose my temper in such an uncontrolled way.

A sleepy voice sounded from the other end of the kitchen. I looked over to see Uriah there, rubbing his eyes. "I say we keep it," he offered. "That way Zeke will remember not to fuck with Four again."

I turned my gaze to my friend. He was looking down at the bowl of pancake mix, a contrite expression on his face. I didn't say anything as I left the kitchen, still too angry to form coherent sentences. Finding Zeke had felt like the right thing to do earlier, to tell my best friend my problem. Instead, it now felt like it had created another one. I had to burn off this anger somehow. Without much thought, I went to my room, changed quickly into shorts and a tank top, and left the house. I didn't care that I'd just showered; I just needed to run, to get away from here. The air was suddenly too thick in the house, making it hard to breathe. I felt like I was suffocating.

As soon as I was outside, I started running. The humidity made my skin feel sticky almost immediately, but I didn't care; I barely felt it. I just ran, no destination in mind. My thoughts were a jumble in my head and I couldn't think straight, much less pay attention to the direction in which I was running.

Marina was sleeping with Eric. She hadn't been at her friend's house all this time, unless that friend was Eric. They'd been fucking on some shitty, squeaky mattress. Who knew how long it had been going on? It had probably been happening right under my nose for months, and I had been too wrapped up in other things to notice.

More anger surged up in me, white hot; I just ran faster. My feet pounded against the pavement, echoing in the wooded lane.

Eric knew. He knew what Marina had been holding over my head for so long. He knew what she'd been using to manipulate and use me these last few months. The bile rose up in my throat again and I knew I was going to be sick.

I stopped suddenly, bracing one hand against a tree as I lurched forward and vomited into a ditch. The acid burned as it came up, getting stuck in my nose until I cleared my sinuses. I coughed, spitting out the last bit of vomit before straightening, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.

I had no idea how long I'd been running, or how far I was from Amar's. Hell, I barely knew where I was or if I was still in the same subdivision. I forced myself to take a few deep breaths, trying to clear my thoughts, then looked at a nearby street sign. It sounded vaguely familiar. Then again, I'd run through so many neighborhoods, rural or not, that everything seemed to blur together.

With no better options, I turned around, jogging now. I was trusting my feet to find the way back to Amar's, but I wasn't really sure I could trust them. Just like I couldn't trust anyone else, apparently.

About fifteen minutes later, I found myself in familiar territory. Amar's driveway was just a few yards down, and there was a car pulling into it. I caught a glimpse of blonde hair and piercings just beyond it. My pace picked up of its own accord. Before I knew it, I was striding up to the car, blind rage coursing through my veins once more.

Eric turned and saw me, a fake smile plastered over his face. He held his arms open wide, like he was going to embrace me. "Hey, buddy," he began, and that was all he managed to say.

My fist connected with his jaw, my already split knuckles opening up again. Eric reeled back a few steps, hand already at his jaw. Marina screamed; whether in alarm or dismay, I wasn't sure. All I could do was hope she didn't like his face too much, because at the moment it was my sole intention to fuck him up.

Eric started to throw a punch but I saw it ahead of time, having expected him to retaliate. I blocked it, barely; he was fast. Still, I was faster and managed to get another good hit on his nose; the crack beneath my fist was satisfying. I didn't care if it was my hand or his nose breaking; all I cared about was the sight of blood streaming down his face.

"What the hell are you doing? Stop, Four!" Marina was shouting at me. There was a part of my brain that begged her not to come near me; I was going to be unable to control my reaction to her proximity in my current state of mind.

Her shout was enough to distract me; Eric's fist against my face caused pain to bloom out from the impact. I stumbled for a moment, then reared back for another hit when I felt hands come around my body, holding me back. Eric was surging toward me when I saw Will and Uriah grab him, too, using almost all their combined weight to keep him at bay.

It was Amar's voice that drew me out of my rage-filled haze. "What the hell is going on here?" he demanded to know. His grip tightened on me until I calmed down just enough, the tension leaving my body slowly.

"What the fuck, Four?" Eric was asking, appearing to be the picture of innocence. He was using his sleeve to try to wipe away the blood from his nose, but it was streaming out too fast. Marina appeared near him, concern on her face. That was probably the first real emotion I'd ever seen her exhibit.

"You know what, you bastard," I spat back, forcing myself to remain where I was. "Who the fuck do you think you are!" My gaze turned to Marina. "And you, you cheating bitch."

Shock spread across her face. She glanced at Eric for a moment before starting to approach me. "Four," she began, her tone soft in an attempt to calm me.

"Don't fucking touch me." I cut my hand through the air in an angry motion to stop her advancement. "Next time, check your phone before you fuck someone's ex-girlfriend, motherfucker." I glared between the both of them; they looked at me with something akin to confusion. Gone were the traces of any false remorse they might have harbored. In its place was some form of anger. What did they have to be angry about? Getting caught?

"Will someone please explain to me what's going on?" Amar pleaded, moving to stand between us.

I turned my gaze away from him, looking around the yard. I saw Tris on the porch, standing beside Christina, Shauna, and Marlene. They all looked vaguely disturbed yet morbidly intrigued.

"Four had a voicemail and heard Eric and Marina having sex," Zeke explained at last.

I hazarded a look at Marina; her face was crimson, though I was pretty sure it wasn't embarrassment she was feeling.

Amar looked at me inquisitively. I nodded mutely, still glaring at Marina. Her gaze fell on me, eyes narrowing. "I'm fucking done with you, and everything you've done to me and to everyone else. Get out of here before I _make_ you leave," I growled, venom dripping from my words.

Her lips came up in an evil grin and I knew immediately what she was thinking.

I stepped closer to her. I felt Amar and Zeke start to grab me but I shook them off, stopping when I was a few feet away. "Go straight to hell, Marina," I hissed. "I don't give a fuck who you tell now. Write a fucking novel for all I care."

Her hand stung as her palm flew against my face. The throb from Eric's punch increased, making me see stars for a moment. I didn't think about my next movements as I started to advance again. Then I felt hands gripping me tightly, yanking me back.

Marina was just looking at me scornfully. "What's the matter, _Tobias_?" she cooed, spitting out my name like a barb. "I thought you were afraid to hit women because you didn't want to end up like dear old dad?"

I felt eyes fall on me. My face heated up in a myriad of emotions: shame, guilt, fear, anger. I glared at her, struggling against Zeke's and Amar's grasps.

A cold chuckle escaped her lips. "Looks like you were right all along. Poor wittle puppy Tobias is _just_ like his daddy, willing to beat those who are so much smaller than him."

Before I had a chance to formulate a response, a blur flew into my vision, colliding with Marina and almost knocking her to the ground. Tris was suddenly there, shaking out her fist while Marina was holding her cheek. There was a slight look of pain on Tris's face, but it was quickly masked by an expression of loathing as she faced Marina again.

"Get out of here before I do more than that, Marina." Tris's voice was low, almost a growl. Her words were laced not with a threat, but with the certainty that she would, indeed, do worse. "If I ever see your fucking face near him again, I'll-"

Marina spat at Tris's feet, her grin returning. "You'll what, hit me again? That almost hurt."

Tris took a single step forward and Marina flinched back. "Worse, you bitch. Now get the fuck out of here before I demonstrate."

Their exit was slow at first, then all at once as Eric and Marina jumped back into the car and sped out of the driveway. When they were gone, I turned to look at Tris, who was cradling her fist against her chest, frowning down at it. I stepped toward her, reaching out to touch her shoulder. Her gaze whipped up to me, anger flaring up in her eyes.

"That wasn't for you," she told me. "It was for me, and for everyone else who's had to put up with her bullshit _because_ of you."

Her words hit me like a brick, harder than Eric's punch. All I could do was watch as she turned away, not even looking back at me as Christina and Marlene crowded her, looking at her hand and patting her on the back.

I turned to look at Zeke and Amar; their expressions were full of pity. My stomach turned again. The worst part of that feeling wasn't the kicked puppy vibe they were giving off, it was that I wasn't sure of the cause: hearing about my lifetime of abuse or Tris's disdainful rejection.

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 **Quick note I wanted to put at the end. I'm going to try to update my Tumblr for you guys, and that way if anyone wants to ask me questions there, please feel free. I'm 'tehriona' there. Hope you guys liked this chapter!**


	9. Tobias

**Author's Note: Happy Friday everyone. :) Thank you for all your reviews! Hopefully this chapter will answer some questions and whatnot that people had. This chapter definitely earns the M rating, by the way, so hold on to your hats. Thank you to BK2U once again for doing a lovely job editing this chapter for me. She's lovely. Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Divergent Trilogy or anything from that universe, but I did think of this plot.**

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 **9\. Tobias**

The temptation to stay secluded from everyone after that encounter was strong, almost too much to resist. I couldn't, not with the memory of how Tris had looked at me after she punched Marina, and not with the words she had said all swirling through my head. She held me responsible for everything that Marina had done. While part of me thought that wasn't entirely fair, putting all that blame on me, another part realized that it was probably the truth. If I hadn't picked up Marina, then none of that would have happened. If Marina hadn't been around, Tris and I might have actually stood a chance instead of now teetering on the edge of losing our friendship.

I frowned down at my hands; I couldn't take it if Tris hated me. We'd been friends for so long; she was ingrained in nearly every aspect of what my life had become. If she left, I know I'd still see her everywhere. She was such an important part of this team, helping to keep things running so smoothly. If she were to quit, walking away from us forever, everything would crumble and break, myself included.

I had to talk to her. There was so much that I needed to explain. I didn't want things to deteriorate more between us. I was just afraid of how she would react to me. Her face, angry and accusing, flashed before my eyes. Would she even let me speak to her at this point? Or was she still too upset? I understood now why she felt the way she did, why she'd said everything she had to me during our dinner. I just hoped she would give me a chance to say what I needed to, if only to get the words off my chest.

With no small amount of effort, I actually got off my bed to go look for her. I found myself biting my lip like Tris does as I wandered through the house, searching in each room for a glimpse of her blonde hair.

I had spent the last couple of days thinking about what I would say to her if she gave me the chance. Most of my free time had been occupied with monologues where I told her how sorry I was for treating her the way I did, or talking about how much of an idiot I'd been for taking her for granted for so long. Everything I'd thought of had sounded stupid and inadequate in my head; it would probably sound even worse out loud.

Ever since I was a young kid, I'd never been good at talking about my feelings. A large part of that was thanks to my father; any type of emotion was a sign of weakness to him. I had apparently been a very weak child in his eyes.

I shook my head to clear those thoughts away. Focusing on my abuse-riddled past was not what I needed to be doing before I apologized to Tris. I knew that thinking about it would only make me feel smaller and more insignificant.

Tris was not in the house. Part of me thought that maybe she'd left and all this searching was in vain. I hoped that she would at least tell me goodbye if she was going to leave forever. Though I didn't exactly deserve it...

When I went outside, I saw all the cars still there, parked in neat rows near the line of trees indicating the end of Amar's property. She must still be here.

With a sigh, I began to turn to head back inside. As I did, I caught sight of Tris on the porch swing, watching me with stormy gray eyes. As soon as I saw her, all of my poorly composed apologies disappeared from my head. My mind became blank as I looked at her.

She was poised on the edge of the seat, ready to make a quick getaway if necessary. I frowned a little and slowly took a few steps closer to her. Her eyes stayed on me, watching my every move like I was a predator and she was my prey.

I stopped when I was a few feet away, giving her space, then put my hands in my pockets. She continued watching me intently, eyes distrustful. That caused a painful twinge in my chest.

"Can I talk to you?" I asked, my voice soft and hesitant, like I was afraid of startling her.

Tris seemed to genuinely consider this for a moment. I was imagining the gears in her head turning, wondering if she should stay or go.

"Please?" I added, hoping that would help. I looked down at her, hoping she could at the very least see the apology on my face. She must have seen something that convinced her, because she leaned back on the swing, feet dangling over the edge now. There was still a guarded expression on her face, but at least she wasn't preparing for a quick escape.

I continued standing before her, not sure if I should sit beside her as she began to swing gently. My head was still empty of what I wanted to say, so I did the next best thing: I just opened my mouth and began speaking.

"I'm sorry," I blurted. "Really, I am, Tris. I'm sorry for everything I've done for the last-" I hesitated for a moment "-four years. Basically since we met, and every day since." She seemed to consider for a moment, but remained silent. I sighed; I knew I would have to explain myself fully to her. I pulled one hand out of my pocket to run it through my hair.

"I'm sorry that it took me this long to finally realize how much of an asshole I've been, and how poorly I've treated you - you, more than anyone else." I paused again, momentarily unsure of where to go with my words. "When I think back to the day you started working for me, I see all the shit that's happened since then and all the people who have flaked out on me when things got too rough. Except for you; you've always been there for me when I needed you the most. You have always been a friend to me, even when I didn't deserve it, and I thought I was being a friend to you this whole time, but I obviously wasn't. I've been taking advantage of you."

A flash of emotion flickered across Tris's otherwise stoic expression. She'd been trying to remain aloof this entire time, or so it seemed; I hoped something I just said may have broken through that veneer. If the only thing that I got out of this was her accepting my apology, then I could walk away with that small victory.

I pressed on speaking. "I've been taking advantage of your feelings for me by keeping you close and teasing you, like you said. You've been there for me this whole time, and how have I repaid you? By throwing your feelings for me back in your face while I fucked some other girl who didn't mean anything to me. But you, Tris?" I took a deep breath, steeling myself for what I would say next. "You mean everything to me, and I am so sorry for hurting you all this time." When I hazarded a look at her again, I could see something in her eyes. Was she shocked or alarmed at what I'd said? Or was she pleased with my confession? I couldn't tell. All I knew was that it felt like a great weight had finally been lifted off my shoulders by telling her that, and I truly meant it.

"I've never been able to let anyone get really close to me. And you were right about me: I've been a coward, too scared to be open and honest with you. So instead, I just stuck to my old habits, going from girl to girl while still trying to keep you in my life. I should have been a kinder, stronger person and I should have been more considerate of you, but I wasn't. I'm sorry, Tris. I don't expect you to accept my apology or forgive me," I said hesitantly, hoping she didn't think I was just playing the sympathy card. I wasn't. "I just wanted you to know that, and if you decide to leave, I understand. Honestly, I wouldn't blame you if you did."

Tris was silent, watching me. I really hoped she wasn't waiting for me to say anymore, because I didn't think there was anything else I could say. There were only so many times that I could apologize for being such an asshole to her before it became redundant. But if she wanted me to apologize a thousand more times to make things right with her, then I would.

I looked up at her again, inspecting her features. Her brows were furrowed together as she looked down in her lap. She looked like she was contemplating something, hopefully my words. I watched her for a few moments, wishing she would look up at me. When she kept her gaze on her legs, I began to feel like she was just waiting for me to go. She wasn't looking at me; that had to be a sign that she wanted me to leave.

Slowly, I began to turn. I'd said my piece. It had been stupid to think she'd actually accept my apology, after everything I'd done to her. Still, I couldn't help one last glance at her as I started to leave.

"Four," she murmured, her voice so quiet I almost didn't hear her.

I stopped in my tracks, turning back to face her. I was acutely aware that what she might possibly say next would not be what I wanted to hear. Still, I allowed myself this one moment to hope, praying it wouldn't be dashed.

"Tris," I replied, voice soft. I didn't dare take another step toward her.

Her eyes were on me now, searching my face. For what? If only I knew what she wanted from me, I would be more than willing to give it to her with no hesitation. I hoped that whatever she was looking for, she would find it in my features.

"You've hurt me for so long, I don't know if I can really forget the way you've made me feel," she began. "You're right: for years you've taken advantage of me. And for years, I've let you. Any sane person would have left a long time ago." My hopes began to plummet, and a sinking feeling began to settle over me. "But," she went on, and the stubborn, obsessive streak inside me held on to a last shred of hope. "I've stayed here through everything, all the shit that you can remember and so much more that you don't even know about. I've watched you parade girls in front of me." She paused, lips forming a thin line for a moment. "I chose to stay by your side because I care about you, Four. When I look at you, past all the girls and the facade you put up every day, I see a man who hurts more than I do. I never knew what made you into the man you are today, and I still don't really know, but today I saw someone was using it to hurt you, even more than you already were, and that just isn't right.

"What I said earlier wasn't entirely true, about punching Marina for myself and everyone else and not for you. That was a lie. I did do that for you, too, because I couldn't stand to see such an awful person continue to hurt someone that I care so much about, even after everything you've done to me." Tris took in a deep breath before continuing, finally lifting her gaze to mine. "So, while I don't know if I can ever forget everything, I _can_ forgive you, Four, and I will."

I let out a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding. The anxiety that had been building up within me released; I took in a deep breath before I spoke again. "Will you stay?" I asked, not daring to sound hopeful, but not trying to hide it from my gaze either.

Tris watched me for a moment, taking in my features. I felt nervous as she looked at me. Then she nodded, slowly. "I'll stay," she answered. The tone of her voice told me there was more, though. "I'll stay, but I'm not making any promises past that. Even though I still have feelings for you, I don't know if I can be in a relationship with you, not after the way I've seen you treat them in the past."

I drew my lower lip between my teeth, nodding. "I understand." I watched her, hoping she would continue talking. As much as I wanted to ask her what it would take to change her mind, if I even could change her mind, I didn't want to scare her away.

We were quiet for a moment, me standing before her while she swung back and forth slowly, using the toe of one foot to move herself. She broke the silence first. "I mean, I'm just assuming that's what you meant when you said, you know, what you did before. About me." She cleared her throat like she was embarrassed, looking down at her lap.

I nodded at her. "I did," I replied quietly.

Tris also nodded, a pleased expression covering her face for a moment. "Okay."

"And I do, eventually," I continued, hoping for the best out of this scenario. "Want to be with you. If I can ever earn back your trust." I paused, wondering what she would say.

She was quiet for another moment or two before nodding. "We'll see. Let's just start with being friends again, okay? And we'll see where it goes from there." Then she looked up at me, smiling hesitantly.

I returned her smile, lips curling upwards. This second chance with Tris meant the world to me. I just hoped I wouldn't fuck it up. "Can I sit with you?" I asked, gesturing to the empty spot beside her on the swing.

Tris looked at it like she was just noticing the space for the first time. Then she gestured to it, scooting just the slightest bit over as if she was taking up too much of the swing.

When I sat, I pushed the swing back further than she had been pushing it. She squealed in surprise, one hand reaching out to grab the armrest while the other latched onto my forearm. I just laughed a little before settling us into a slow, back and forth rhythm. She relaxed again, letting go of me and leaning back against the swing.

"Can you give me hints on what _not_ to do?" I asked after a moment, glancing at her from the corner of my eye. "You know, if we were to go down a path beyond friendship."

Tris just laughed a little, a sound I hadn't heard in a while. "Don't be such a manwhore," she replied, lightly smacking my arm. "Your taste has gotten worse and worse over the last year." While she had started out joking, Tris suddenly sat up straighter and looked at me apologetically. "Sorry," she murmured. "Too soon?"

I just shrugged, not looking at her for the moment. It hurt to know that Marina had been cheating on me with Eric, but not in the same way that most people would expect. "Maybe," I said out loud. It had hurt because it fueled my feelings of inadequacy, not because I'd really loved her. "I'd wanted to dump her for a long time. I just felt like I couldn't."

I saw her nod while I gazed off in the distance, thinking. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked, sounding a little uncomfortable.

That was definitely a good question. I wasn't used to sharing my feelings with people, but with Tris, I wanted to try. "She was blackmailing me," I said, trying to sound nonchalant. "She knew about my dad, and how I had been abused, and was using that as leverage to stay." I paused for a moment, taking a deep breath. This wasn't information I liked to advertise, and the last time I'd told someone it hadn't worked out well for me. "I don't know why she did it, what was in it for her, and I don't think I even want to know. But everyone seems to know about it now, so there really isn't much for her to use to blackmail me any longer." I shrugged for good measure, trying to make it seem like it didn't bother me, even though it did. "I didn't really even like her anymore. She was just there, and we were just pretending, or going through the motions, or...whatever."

Tris reached out and gently touched my hand. I found myself enjoying the touch rather than flinching away from it. "I'm sorry, Four," she murmured.

Reflexively, I said, "Tobias." I surprised even myself with that sudden outburst.

"What?" she asked, sounding confused.

I puckered my lips for a moment before nodding. "My name."

Tris was quiet for a moment, so I looked down at her to see her watching me. "I know that's your name, I do your taxes," she replied softly, a slight smile curling on her lips.

I took a deep breath. "You can call me that, instead of Four." I waited a moment before continuing. "I'd like _you_ to call me Tobias."

She gave me a look that said she clearly did not understand the significance of this moment. I sighed. "Four has been my nickname for years," I began. "Amar is the one who actually gave it to me. He taught me how to play the guitar. When I came to him to learn how to play, I only knew four chords, and was convinced that was all I needed to know to become a rock star. So he just started calling me Four, and it stuck."

"Okay," Tris murmured, drawing out the word. "So why do you suddenly want me to call you Tobias?"

I turned to look at her on the swing. "It just feels so fake to be called Four now, like I'm pretending to be someone I'm not, and I don't want to do that around you. I'm tired of hiding."

She was quiet for a moment before nodding. "All right, _Tobias_ ," she said quietly.

I smiled at that. It felt good to hear my name again.

* * *

It was my turn to cook dinner that night. I wasn't the best cook, since I never had a lot of opportunity or need to do it. The best meal I could make without help from someone else was spaghetti, and even then I almost messed it up. It was only because of Tris that we salvaged the sauce from being a total disaster. She came in just when I was about to dump it and call for pizza.

I watched her at the stove, adding this and that to the sauce; she didn't measure anything, just pinched some spices into the saucepan. When she felt satisfied with it, she took a separate spoon and held it out for me to sample the sauce. Her eyes didn't leave mine as she blew on it before offering it. Somehow, she still managed to look almost shy as she watched me sample the spoonful, though I was pretty sure she was doing it on purpose. There had been something mischievous behind those blue-gray eyes.

That look stayed with me throughout dinner as everyone awkwardly talked about anything they could think of, except for what had happened earlier in the day. With each laugh, Tris had turned her gaze to me, giving me this small, knowing smile for what felt like just a moment too long before turning away.

She helped clean the kitchen with me, too. Her touch lingered just long enough to be noticeable as she handed me dishes after washing them. The feeling of her fingers brushing mine certainly seemed intentional.

And now, as I lay in bed, all I could think of was the curl of her lips, her gentle touch, and the glint in her eyes. I tried thinking of something else, anything else, even my breakup with Marina earlier, but Tris just kept surging to the forefront of my thoughts. I kept thinking of how soft her fingers would be on my body, or how she'd look up at me from under her lashes as her mouth...

Oh God. I felt my cock twitching under the sheets at that thought. I tried to ignore it, but now that image was stuck in my head.

My chest rose and fell as I breathed deeply, trying to think of something else. I tried to torture my brain, thinking about Marina and how she had hated going down on me, and how I hated when she did because she didn't pay attention to her teeth. All I could see in my head was blonde hair, creating a curtain over one shoulder. Then I saw a flash of gray eyes and I had to stifle a moan.

I couldn't fight it anymore. My fingers went around my cock, tugging a few times as it came to life. I settled into a familiar rhythm, stroking leisurely up and down. Thoughts went freely through my head now. I imagined Tris, and how she'd take me into her mouth. Would she just toy with the head of my shaft first? I rubbed my thumb over the tip like I'd imagine her tongue would do. Or would she take it all into her mouth?

My hips jutted forward at that thought, and I pictured myself fucking her mouth. My fingers tangling in her hair, holding her head still as I thrust upward past her lips. I thrust into my hand, wishing my palm felt as good as I imagined her mouth would.

Or her. Jesus. I bit my lip to hold back the moan at the thought of being _inside_ Tris. I thought of her being on top, slowly lowering herself onto my cock, moaning as she did. Her body would arch as she took all of me inside her, her hips rolling over mine as she touched herself. Then I thought of being on top of her, sinking into her slowly until our hips ground together. A groan of pleasure escaped me as I wondered what it would actually feel like to make love to her, sliding in and out of her body.

I could see her eyes as she watched me, her normally blue-gray orbs turning dark and stormy as she drew her lower lip between her teeth in pleasure. Her moans started out quiet as I moved over her, hips rolling against hers. Then they grew in intensity as my speed increased. These moans were desperate yet quiet, unlike Marina's which had always just sounded wrong to me.

I couldn't hold back my grunts as I came, the image of Tris's naked body beneath mine burned into my thoughts. My chest heaved as I struggled to breathe through those intense moments of pleasure.

When I came down from the high, I tried to feel bad about masturbating to my fantasies of Tris, really I did. I grabbed a tissue to clean myself up and shifted over in the bed away from the damp spot on the sheet; I tried to tell myself that it was going to cause issues if I made a habit of it.

I ended up thinking as I yawned that I was too tired to feel bad about it now, but would definitely feel bad about it the next morning when I had to change the sheets. I nodded to myself as I turned, taking a moment to think about her stormy eyes as I fell into a relaxed, satisfied slumber.


	10. Tease

**Author's Note: Hello lovelies. So sorry about not being able to update earlier this week. Things were very crazy on my end, and this chapter was not cooperating. It's kind of filler, but I have plans for things to get exciting again. Hope you all are still with me! On the bright side, in all of my craziness (this actually added to it), I got to go to Warped Tour with my sister for my first time (and I'm a twenty-something year old, she's a teenager). Survived my first almost-mosh pits, stayed to the sides; also had crowd surfers thrown on top of me. I'm a smallish girl, so it was interesting pushing them all back up. But it was a blast, saw some new-to-me bands and fell in love with Nevershoutnever! Anyways, here is an update for you all, and I hope you enjoy it. :) See you all next time.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the Divergent universe, but I did think of this plot.**

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 **10\. Tease**

"Okay, so we have a problem." Zeke paused dramatically as he looked around the room at us. He waited until enough of us seemed intrigued. "We need a new bassist."

Murmurs of agreement hummed in the room as we looked at each other. He was right. I looked around at everyone, taking in their expressions as they seemed to think over what was undoubtedly going to be the next question. We were having a "team meeting" today, in light of recent events. I'd been wondering what they would do about Eric, and I was surprised that they were including everyone, even me and Christina in it.

Everyone looked at each other for a moment. When my eyes fell on Four- _Tobias-_ , he held my gaze for only a moment before looking away, an almost shy expression on his face. Was he blushing? I furrowed my brow for a moment, watching him.

He'd seemed a little strange all morning, at least around me. At breakfast, he hadn't looked at me at all, instead keeping his gaze on his food or someone else. While I hadn't felt like he'd been ignoring me, it still felt a little odd, considering our conversation yesterday.

Shauna cleared her throat, pulling me from my thoughts. "We can still perform without a dedicated bassist, since Zeke can switch for a little bit, but ideally we want a full time player."

Marlene was the first to speak up. "Okay, so where do we come in?" She scratched the back of her neck for a moment.

"Well, since we're a pretty big group," Shauna went on, "we were thinking that maybe we know someone who could at least audition. Or we can play six degrees of separation."

Beside me, Christina furrowed her brow. "What's that?"

Will leaned over the back of the couch until he was a little closer. "It's where you know someone, who knows someone, who knows someone, and so on," he explained, patting her on the shoulder. "Though it's usually in reference to Kevin Bacon..."

She chuckled a little, shaking her head. Then she straightened, turning around to face her boyfriend. "Oh! Oh, my God, I can't believe I didn't think of this sooner. Will, you still play the bass, right?" I smiled at the excitement on her face.

Will, however, seemed to shy away from her question. "Um, a little."

This seemed to surprise everyone in the room. Zeke actually did a double take. "What? You play the bass, Will?"

He nodded a little. This was the closest I'd ever seen him to acting embarrassed; it was kind of amusing, and honestly a little cute. "I'm all right," he mumbled modestly, barely audible.

Christina turned around again and lightly smacked his arm. "If you still play like you used to, I think you're better than 'all right'," she insisted. Then the turned to us. "Guys, he's great."

Shauna nodded. "Well, we can give him an audition. Do you know any of our songs, Will?" she asked. She looked excited about the prospect.

As they continued discussing the songs Will could play, I looked around the room again. My gaze traveled back to Four. Calling him Tobias would take some getting used to, for sure. I was still puzzling over his quiet demeanor today. Was his breakup with Marina finally getting to him? He'd seemed almost too okay yesterday when we had spoken. Even though he had said he hadn't really cared for her too much, it was bound to still affect him. From experience, being cheated on definitely put things into perspective. What had been her reasoning for sleeping with both Four _and_ Eric? Other than the fact that she was a massive bitch. I still wanted to hit her again.

His apology from yesterday came back to mind. I hadn't wanted to listen to him at first, but seeing the forlorn and dejected look on his face had changed that. Then as he'd begun speaking, I'd realized that I at least owed him my attention. I'd blown up on him twice, not allowing him to speak in return at all. I'd told myself I just wanted to know what he thought about us, and yet I hadn't even let him explain. That realization caused a frown to cross my features.

Christina nudged my arm, pulling me from my thoughts. "Don't you think so, Tris?" she asked, eyes hopeful.

I gave her a blank look for a moment before nodding a little, even though I had no idea what she'd said. "Sure, yeah," I murmured, hoping I sounded like I'd been listening.

"All right, then. That just leaves you, Four." Shauna leaned back and looked at him.

He hadn't spoken the entire time, at least as far as I knew. When I turned my gaze to him, our eyes met and I wondered how long he'd been looking at me. I held his look for a moment before he turned away, his cheeks slightly red. Then he looked at Shauna and Zeke, composing himself.

"Sure, I'll listen to him. Wouldn't hurt much, I guess," he relented, crossing his arms over his chest. That caused his shirt to pull against his chest. I could see the contours of his muscles beneath the fabric.

This time, I was the one looking away as I blushed. Thoughts of what he looked like without his shirt filled my head and I couldn't quite banish them. Though I wasn't quite sure I really _wanted_ to get rid of them...

"That settles it," Zeke announced happily. "We'll hear Will play, see if he fits with us. But if anyone else knows a bassist, don't be afraid to speak up." He clapped his hands together after a moment, signaling the end of the meeting. "All right, let's see what Amar has for us today."

None of us were exactly quick to move. My gaze was drawn back to Tobias. When I caught sight of him between people who were grudgingly moving around, finally, I caught him looking at me. Our eyes locked once more, but neither of us looked away. Suddenly the air felt charged between us and I felt a surge of something - excitement? - well up in me.

Christina grabbed my arm, forcing me to look away first. There was an ecstatic expression on her face, but I couldn't hold it in any longer. I also grabbed her arm, fingers clenching carefully. "I need to talk to you," I said, probably sounding more urgent than I actually meant to, judging by the way her eyes widened. "Outside?"

She just nodded, looking slightly concerned before we walked out. I hazarded one last glance over my shoulder toward Tobias, and saw that he was talking to Zeke and Will.

Once we were outside, we made a beeline to the fence Amar had been in the process of painting for about a year. I wasn't sure if he had worked on it at all since we had been here last; it certainly didn't look like it. "What's up, Tris?" Christina asked as we removed the lids from paint cans.

I hadn't had an opportunity to talk to Christina yesterday after Tobias and I spoke, and by the time we'd finished cleaning up after dinner, she'd already gone to bed. The more I'd thought about it throughout the morning, the more I'd wanted to tell her. I tried to calm myself more, to make it seem like it wasn't as big of a deal as it really was to me. "T-Four and I talked yesterday," I said, trying to sound nonchalant.

Christina's eyes darted over to mine, her lips parting in shock. "Oh, yeah? What about?" she asked. "Please don't tell me he said he was already over Marina and was looking for a new girlfriend."

With a slight smile, I shook my head, swiping my paintbrush at the fence. "No, he didn't. I mean, not exactly. He apologized for, like, everything," I told her, glancing over at her to try to catch her reaction. "He told me that he was sorry it had taken so long for him to realize how much of an asshole he'd been to me, along with some other stuff."

My friend was quiet for a few moments, so I looked over at her, hoping to catch her glance. There was a slight frown on her face. "Tris," she began, setting her paintbrush down on top of the can for a moment. "He and Marina just broke up, and it was ugly. Like, really ugly. Please don't be his rebound girl, okay?"

When Christina looked up at me, I saw concern in her expression. Her lips were pressed into a thin line now, with her eyebrows drawn together. I could hardly remember seeing her look so worried about anything, let alone who I dated. I just shook my head. "I won't, Chris, don't worry," I told her, trying to sound reassuring. "I mean, we kind of talked about dating, but I told him that it would take me a while to feel like I could trust him, and I meant it. I don't even know if I _can_ trust him right now, you know?" I paused for a moment then frowned. "Jesus, he was just cheated on and I don't know if I can trust him. What the hell? I sound awful."

Christina shook her head sternly at me. "No, you're right," she told me. "He never claimed he was actually in a relationship with any of those girls, myself included, so you can't _technically_ call it cheating, I guess, but the time between his 'relationships' was always pretty short, Tris. If you decide to do anything with him, make him work for it, girl."

I looked at her, curious. "Work for it how?" I asked, not quite sure I liked the sound of it.

"You still like him, right?" she returned, looking closely at the fence post in front of her.

A blush burned my cheeks suddenly. "I guess," I mumbled. Even after everything he'd done to me, I still couldn't help my feelings toward him. It make me feel dumb. "Is it stupid that I do, Christina?"

She shook her head again. "Well, only if you were to act on it right now. Listen, he likes you, too, right?" she asked. I nodded. "So we all know what two adults eventually do when they like each other. At least in most cases. You need to make him really want you, Tris." Christina glanced at me for a moment. "Like, _really_ want you, that way he won't even look at another girl. Also? It'll tell you how interested he really is, if you give him just enough reason to stay around, but never enough to satisfy him. At least not until you're ready, that is."

My cheeks reddened further. This sounded so wrong, to be such a tease. "Christina..." I began.

Christina cut me off. "No, Tris, listen to me. Hear me out." She dipped her paintbrush into the can a little forcefully, some paint splashing out onto the grass and my foot. "Sorry. But hear me out. You said it yourself, multiple times, Four is a man whore. He has no self-control when it comes to women. Right?" She looked at me expectantly.

Slowly, I nodded. "Yeah," I murmured, trying to keep painting under her gaze.

"He's never been with anyone for long because he's always gotten what he wanted from them, like, immediately," she went on.

Part of me wanted to tell her what Tobias had told me yesterday about his serial dating habits, but I decided against it. That was his story to tell if he so chose. I, at least, knew the truth. It made me wonder if he had ever seen any of those things in me, or if he ever could. I wondered even more if I even had what he needed.

"He's going to flirt with you, he always has," Christina was saying. "And if you give in sooner rather than later, the chase will be over, and he'll get what he wants. Then he'll probably meet some other girl who isn't as great as you, but she might seem like it at the time, and he'll leave you. The vicious cycle continues." She rolled her eyes at the mere thought. "Make him want you, appreciate you. Hopefully that'll make him stick around."

I looked at her again for another few moments before nodding. I could see her point in this, and she was right. Tobias _would_ flirt with me; he flirted with all the girls. We both knew that there was a mutual interest between us, so it made more sense that he would flirt with me and at least mean it. He'd made it clear that he wanted to pursue me. Why not give him a good chase?

At last, I nodded. "All right," I agreed. "I'll do it. But how?"

Christina squealed a little. "Oh, God, this is going to be so great!" She flailed a little, flinging paint from her brush on us both. Laughter escaped us before she lowered the brush. I wasn't even mad at the drops of paint already drying on my skin. "Just think of how crazy you're going to drive him, Tris!"

As Christina spoke, I couldn't help but wonder if there was any type of revenge in this for her. The thought made me smile a little.

"I know just the things to do, too," she promised.

That night, after my shower, I crawled into bed with my laptop. I hadn't really checked my email a lot over the last few days, since Amar's list of home repairs had been pretty time consuming. I went through the menial task of deleting junk mail first before opening the important things. There were confirmation emails for conventions - our next one was in Portland, next weekend - and a handful of commission requests. I'd probably have to bow out of some of the projects around the house to get these knocked out. Amar was pretty understanding about our bread and butter jobs taking precedence, especially when there were so many of us here to help.

I clicked on the confirmation email for our inventory order, then brought up the tracking information. It was due to arrive tomorrow, thankfully. I'd have to pull the totes in from the truck first thing so I could go through everything and organize it. As I thought about the shirts, I realized I needed a question answered.

With a frown, I looked at the clock. It was eleven, which was sort of late when we weren't actually touring. He might still be up, though. Still, I wanted to check, so I grabbed my phone and sent a quick text to Tobias.

 _You still up?_ I wrote.

The walls in the house were thin enough that I heard the generic bell tone ring out on his phone when it received the message. A few moments later, I received his reply. _Yeah, in the kitchen. What's up?_

I set my laptop on the table next to me, then pushed out of bed. I was in my pajamas, but it wasn't like he hadn't seen them before. And it's not like I had much need to worry about a lack of bra, either. Slowly, I crept out of my room and padded through the house to find him. He was sitting at the bar, a cup of something steaming in front of him, when I entered the room. His gaze lifted to mine for a moment, a smile crossing his lips. Then I saw his eyes perusing my body and I felt a blush creep up my neck.

"Hey," he said softly as he looked at me again.

I could smell the hot chocolate in his mug as I neared him. A soft sigh escaped me of its own accord as I inhaled. "Hey," I echoed, eyeing his mug. "Is there any more of that?" I pointed to his hot chocolate.

Tobias tilted his head toward the stove. "The kettle's still hot, the mix is in the pantry," he told me, taking a sip of his own drink. I went about making my own mug of it when he spoke up again. "So, what's up?"

I leaned back against the countertop next to the sink, stirring my drink for a few moments. "I was just looking at the tracking for the inventory shipment, and it's scheduled to come in tomorrow," I started, bringing my mug up for a sip first. "I'll need the totes out of the truck first thing so I can organize things, but that wasn't why I came out here."

He nodded a little and curled one hand around his mug. I pursed my lips as I watched his fingers drumming slowly along the edge of the ceramic. "Why'd you come out here?" I didn't miss the suggestive tone in his voice. "Wanted to get me alone already?"

I laughed a little at him, but shook my head slightly. I had to get my mind off of his fingers, moving so deftly against his mug. "What do you want to do with all the shirts that have Eric on them?" I asked, just spitting out the question. I didn't know how touchy of a subject Eric would be for him right now.

Tobias winced just slightly, but tried to cover it by sipping his hot chocolate. "Burn them for all I care," he said bitterly, dropping his gaze to the countertop for a moment.

I wanted to reach out to him, to try to comfort him. I could imagine painful memories surfacing now, and I had brought them up. In an attempt to cheer him up a bit, I forced a little chuckle, then suggested, "We could do that, sure, but that'd literally be burning our profits." It wasn't much of a joke, but it did bring a slight smile to Tobias's lips.

"You're right," he admitted. Then he leaned his head back, looking like he was thinking for a moment. "I guess we could sell them at a discounted price for now, see what happens." He gave a nod of his head as if to confirm that it was a good idea.

I sipped my drink again. Hot chocolate had been such a great idea. "What are we going to say when people ask about Eric? Because you know they are."

Tobias nodded a little and leaned back in his seat. "Yeah. Zeke, Shauna, and I have discussed it. For now, we're just saying 'artistic differences' or some bullshit like that," he said, turning his mug a little by the handle. "Whatever comes to mind that makes it sound amicable, I guess. We'll keep it friendly until he doesn't." Then he stood and started to walk over to the sink.

"Friendly is good," I replied, nodding a little as I watched him cross the floor. He stopped in front of me, leaning past me a little to set his mug in the sink, then straightened before me.

His eyes were dark as he looked down into mine. "Friendly is very good," he agreed, his blue eyes capturing my gaze.

Suddenly, I was aware of his closeness. He was only a step or two away from me, close enough that he could easily close the distance if he so chose. As I held his gaze, unable to look away, I tried to remember everything Christina and I had talked about earlier. My mind went blank, all of our plans forgotten. All I could think about right now was the look he was giving me, his eyes intense on mine. I felt something low in my belly start to stir when his eyes traveled down the line of my body, stopping in all the right places and bringing a blush to my face again.

When Tobias took half a step closer to me, I straightened, thinking that would put some distance between us. I set my mug, still half full, in the sink beside his and clenched my hands in front of me. "Right," I murmured, finally looking away and down at my feet. "Well, now that I know that..." I started to move away from the counter, trying to hide my blush from his gaze.

Then I felt his hand on my arm, stopping me from moving further away from him. Slowly, I turned to look at him again, dragging my eyes up his arm first before meeting his gaze. "Tris," he murmured, his eyes moving to my lips.

I shifted, balancing my weight on both feet again. "Tobias," I replied, voice quiet. I watched his eyes flicker between mine and my lips before stopping on my mouth again.

He looked like he was going to kiss me. I was ready to duck away to avoid it, not that I really wanted to. There was a stirring inside me that made me want to let him kiss me, and do so much more. I fought to ignore that feeling, remembering what Christina had said. I was worth waiting for, working for. Still, I couldn't help it as my gaze traveled down to his lips, too. Unconsciously, my tongue swept out and I dragged my teeth over my bottom lip. I saw Tobias take in a sharp breath as he watched me.

"Good night," he murmured after a moment, then slowly let go of my arm. His fingers slid down my skin before he finally pulled away, taking a step back. He looked to be consciously holding himself back now.

I smiled shyly, pretending I didn't notice his struggle as I looked up at him again. "Good night," I replied, my voice just as soft as his had been, and went back to my room. As I shut the door, I leaned against it and took a deep breath.

This was going to be a lot harder than I thought.

* * *

 **Post note: HOLY SHIT, I just realized this was added to the Fourtris community. Holy shit, thank you guys. You guys effing rock.**


	11. Portland

**Author's Note: Okay, sooo sorry you guys about this taking forever. I won't give up on you guys or this story. I'm just having some personal things come up that needed to be addressed, and they're still hanging around. So please bear with me. I won't go into detail, except to say, Always keep fighting. 'Nuff said. Without further adieu, please enjoy this chapter.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the Divergent Trilogy universe, but I did think of this plot.**

* * *

 **11\. Portland**

Portland was a huge change of pace after spending so much time in Sonoma County. While California had provided nice, comfortable temperatures - if a little humid - Portland was rainy and a little cool, even as we were drawing near to the end of summer. The forecast promised definite rain at least 75% of the weekend, which was bound to affect the convention in some way. Still, I'd heard that this was a rather important event for getting into Seattle.

We _really_ wanted to get into Seattle.

Despite the rain, the hotel was booked for this convention. Overbooked, even. It had taken Tobias an hour of talking to a manager to get our rooms sorted out. As we all walked to the elevators, he was glaring straight ahead, not looking at or speaking to anyone just yet. When we reached the elevators, though, he turned to us at last.

"So, we only have two rooms. We're really going to have to squish," he said, sighing.

"What size are the beds?" Shauna asked, putting her arm around Zeke's waist.

Tobias looked at her and raised his eyebrows for a moment. "Thankfully, both rooms have two queen beds. So there's that, at least. One is on the third floor, the other on the fifth." He hit the button for the elevator, looking contemplative. "I'll take the room on the third floor. Will, I want you to stay with me so we can go over the music. Christina can stay, too, of course."

Christina grabbed my arm. "Well, Tris and I always stay together," she insisted, looking at me slyly from the corner of her eye. I just looked over at her, curious to see what she was up to now.

Tobias was silent for a moment, looking at us both before nodding. "All right." The elevator dinged and a moment later the doors slid open. "The rest of you can stake claim on the fifth floor room," he said, handing the sleeve of keys to Zeke as we filed into the elevator. "Some others might show up, so the couch beds are available, and there's always floor space."

Just before the doors started closing, Al suddenly stepped forward. "Could I, uh, stay with you guys?" he asked shyly.

I watched him for a moment, then looked over at Tobias, who was holding the door open with one hand. I didn't miss his glance toward me before he nodded a little. "Sure," he murmured, then moved to the side to allow Al to step into the elevator.

As the elevator car surged upwards, I noticed Tobias tense a little, just slightly, as his hand clenched around his bag. I watched him for another moment before turning to Christina. She was leaning against Will, a small smile on her face as he whispered something in her ear. She caught my eye for a moment and gave me a meaningful look before flicking her glance to Al. I furrowed my eyebrows at her, confused. Al was standing beside Tobias, facing the sliding doors.

The elevator dinged as it reached the third floor, the doors sliding open smoothly. Tobias stepped out quickly, settling his bag over his shoulder again as he did. When we were all out, Christina suddenly grabbed my arm and stopped. "Shit!" she said loudly, looking frustrated.

Everyone stopped and turned toward us, curious and alarmed. "What is it, babe?" Will asked, looking more concerned than everyone else.

Christina blanked for just a moment, looking at me with slightly widened eyes, before saying. "I forgot...something in the car," she offered. She was lying, but I didn't think anyone would call her out on it.

"Really?" Will did not sound amused; he even raised one eyebrow to disappear under his light hair. "You couldn't have remembered it when we were waiting for an hour in the lobby?"

She playfully smacked his arm. "No, because something I saw made me remember it just now. Can you guys take our bags real quick? I need Tris to come with me." Without waiting for an answer, she held her bag out to Will, waiting for him to take it.

Tobias was just stepping forward as Al spoke up, almost too loudly. "I can take your bag if you want, Tris," he offered, effectively cutting off Tobias.

I glanced between them, Al's eager expression and Tobias's almost shy look from under his lashes. Al was already in front of me, so I just held out my bag to him, but kept my eyes on Tobias. He was picking through the sleeve with the keys. When he held one out to me, his features were stoic, unreadable.

"Room 318," he said, still offering me the key.

A slow, slight smile curled over my lips as I took the key, intentionally brushing my fingers against his. I didn't miss the way he tightened his lips for a moment. "Thanks. We'll be back," I said, then looked at Christina.

"Stairs," was all she said as she marched toward the door. Our footsteps echoed as we descended. We were halfway to the second floor when she spoke again. "You should sleep with Al tonight."

That made me stop in my tracks, but Christina continued down the stairs. "What?" I asked, incredulous. "Please tell me I didn't hear you correctly."

She stopped abruptly and started laughing. "Oh, shit," she giggled. "I didn't mean you should fuck him." She laughed some more, then turned to look at me. "I meant you should share the bed with him tonight. It'll drive Four crazy!"

I drew my lips into a line for a moment, watching her. She was right; it would definitely drive him nuts. I didn't know what Tobias had intended for sleeping arrangements, if he would get the bed and I the couch, or if he'd insist I share the bed with him. I had assumed I'd be sleeping on the sofa bed by myself. The addition of Al had created a new dynamic, one I hadn't actually thought about until now.

"True," I said slowly, taking a few steps closer to Christina.

She could sense what was coming next and spoke first, "But...?"

"But," I echoed quickly, "This could create a problem. I don't like Al that way, but he does like me. He might read too much into it."

Christina just rolled her eyes. "Use that to your advantage, girl!" she exclaimed, laughing a little again. "So what if you don't like him? Al is enough of a teddy bear that he won't try anything _too_ inappropriate with you. Just cuddle him a little bit, maybe. Hang out with him this weekend, and see what Four does."

I drew my lower lip between my teeth, biting a little. Then I shrugged. "I'll think about it," I answered slowly.

My friend gave an exasperated groan. "You'd better think about it quick, because I didn't actually forget anything in the car. I just wanted to talk to you," she said, continuing down the stairs.

"Where are you going?" I asked, trailing after her.

"Coffee," she answered. "Then we can take the elevator back up."

Christina was right in a way. I thought back to our conversation at Amar's house, when we'd been painting the fence. She'd listed so many ways to be a tease toward Tobias. I hadn't agreed with all of them, since a few had seemed downright heartless. Still, her point had been to give Tobias just enough to keep him interested, but not enough to make him feel like he had me just yet. All the teasing was to really test how much he wanted me, and to make him want me even more.

I could hear my parents' voices in my head, telling me how cruel that would be. I shook my head to clear it. Christina's words replaced my parents', reminding me that it would be worth it in the long run. If he had really meant what he'd said before about wanting to date me eventually, then he'd put up with all the teasing, taking it into stride and holding out. At least, that's what she had said. There was definitely a part of me that was slightly afraid that Tobias would just get fed up with these ploys and fuck some other girl.

What if he did fuck some other girl? Would I care? Would that restart our "game"? I frowned a little as we walked over to the hotel café. I think I would care, especially since he'd expressed such an interest.

Even after everything that had happened so far, I still liked him. Did that make me a masochist?

"Tris, what do you want?" Christina's voice - and elbow - pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Oh, sorry." I looked up at the menu, deciding quickly. "Ah, a macchiato please. That's a thing, right?"

Christina laughed a little beside me and shook her head a little. "That is a thing, yeah. Let's sit down there." She pointed to a little round table near the pick up counter. "So," she went on, like we had never stopped talking. "If you sleep out on the sofa bed with Al, Four will have to see you guys at some point. And just think about it: he'll be jealous. Jealousy makes men do weird things. Did you see them in the hallway earlier?"

I nodded a little, laying my hands on the table and steepling my fingertips together. "Yeah, I did. They both tried to grab my bag like it was the key to my heart or something." I laughed a little at that thought.

Christina chuckled, "A little competition is good for him, I think. He's so used to not having to work for the girls he fucks, this will be a challenge for him."

Our orders were called at the counter before I could reply. As we walked over there, I drew my lips together briefly. "I just don't want him to lose interest," I murmured, picking up my cup and nodding at the barista. "Like, what if he gets too annoyed? What if he decides it's not worth it to keep playing and just does some other girl?"

She gave a sigh as we headed back toward the elevator. "Then he's a dumbass. You're worth it, Tris, and if he doesn't realize it, then he needs to get stuffed and you shouldn't be with him. Also, if he screws some other girl, then he must have a problem with his pants."

I gave her a puzzled look as I hit the button for the elevator. "What?"

"They just won't keep his dick in," Christina explained, laughing a little at her joke. "But I'm serious. If he gives up, then he's the one who isn't worth it, Tris. Remember that."

When we made it back to the room, Will and Tobias were in the bedroom, probably discussing the music, considering they were trading the bass back and forth. Al was on the couch, his eyes focused on the television until we walked in. The smile that lit up his face made me cringe a little inwardly; it was so hopeful. And here I was about to play him to my advantage.

"Is that coffee?" he asked, sitting up straighter on the couch and scooting over some, clearly an invitation to join him.

After a hesitant glance at Christina, who nodded encouragingly, I went to sit beside him; I was close enough that it was noticeable, but not too close. Our legs weren't touching, at least. "Mmhmm," I murmured, taking a sip. "From the café in the lobby."

Al inhaled deeply, leaning close to smell the coffee. Or maybe _me_ , based on the fact that his nose was closer to my hair than my cup. "That smells amazing. Maybe we could get some coffee at some point this weekend?" His tone was confident, his expression optimistic.

I resisted the urge to look at Christina again for confirmation. I really didn't have to look; I could feel her eyes boring into the back of my head. I gave him a little nod, smiling. "Sure, that'd be fun," I said as Will and Tobias walked into the room.

Will sniffed the air dramatically before sitting on the arm of Christina's chair. "Coffee," he breathed reverently, looking like he might try to steal some of hers. Christina held it close, protectively.

"Get your own," she laughed, trying to hold the cup away from him.

I looked around the room for a moment, my eyes catching Tobias's as he watched me. Quickly, I looked away, pretending I hadn't noticed his gaze on me, then looked at Al. Awkwardly, I scooted a little closer and looked at the television.

This was going to be difficult.

* * *

"So what are the sleeping arrangements?" Christina eyed me subtly as she asked. She was sitting on the floor, slightly tipsy, which was normal on a Thursday night for her. I had resisted drinking with her because she probably would have tried to get me drunk, and that might have made things more interesting later. "Will and I get a real bed!" she announced, leaning back against Will's legs.

I looked at Al, then at Tobias to see if either of them would say anything first. They were watching each other, trying to be nonchalant about it. In the grand scheme of things, Tobias was a lot more of an 'alpha' than Al was, so if he said anything, Al would probably just go with it. However, I had a feeling that neither of them would speak for me.

The awkwardness began to grow, dragging mere seconds into minutes, before I cleared my throat. "I can sleep out here," I offered. When I glanced at Christina, she was giving me an insistent look. "That is, if Al doesn't mind sharing the sofa bed." She smiled at me, triumphant.

The tension grew. I looked between them again, saw the hope blossom on Al's face as he turned his gaze to me. Tobias pursed his lips in a hard line, looking at me for a moment then down at the floor. Then he cleared his throat and lifted his head again. "Sounds good," he said, seeming to force himself to appear as though he didn't care. He waited a moment before speaking again. "Will, I want to go over some more songs." Then, without another word, Tobias turned on his heel and went back into the bedroom portion of the hotel room.

Will glanced between me and Christina, like he was trying to guess what was going on between us, then stood up. I just smiled sheepishly at him as he stepped over Christina, patting her head as he did. Then she turned her brown eyes on me, with their coquettish gleam. "It's pretty late," she said quietly. It was only eleven, which was rather early for us, but since we didn't have anyone to set up for us today, we would have to get up early to set up the booth. "I'm going to go listen to them play and pass the fuck out. Enjoy the sofa bed, guys."

And then she left. Part of me was frustrated that Christina would leave me at the most integral part of this night. The other part of me realized that she had to, otherwise things just wouldn't progress the way we had planned. I fought off the awkward feelings as I watched the door shut. It was just me and Al now...

"Should we go on and make up the bed?" Al asked after a moment.

 _Be cool, Tris, be cool_ , I told myself. _Don't be too awkward_. So I nodded, murmured a soft, "Sure," and pushed off of the couch, almost too quickly. Christina had already thrown the sheets out here earlier when she'd tried to be subtle about the sleeping arrangement conversation. Subtlety wasn't her strong suit, though.

We went about making the bed methodically. I had to force myself to act casual, like I wasn't up to something. Al was pretty smart, and he would definitely figure out I was using him if I wasn't careful. That's why it was important to just be cool, I reminded myself.

When the bed was made, I excused myself and headed to the little bathroom. Splashing water on my face didn't do much to calm me down, but it helped. Quickly, I changed into what Christina had called modest-but-flirty pajamas: gym shorts and a tank top. Al was already under the blankets, reading on his phone. With trepidation, I made my way over to the other side of the bed from him and slipped under the blankets.

It wasn't like this was the first time I'd slept in the same bed with a guy before. With the few casual boyfriends I'd had, we'd usually shared a sleeping space. It wasn't even that I was just used to sleeping alone, either, even though I was. But the last time I'd slept with a guy, in either sense of the word, had been Peter, and that thought made my skin crawl.

"Cold?" Al asked, obviously interpreting my slight shiver to be from the temperature.

I was about to shake my head when I heard Christina's voice in my head, telling me that it wouldn't kill me to cuddle with him a little. So I nodded slightly. "A little," I said, and let him pull me close into his chest.

To say that Al was warm would be an understatement. He was like a full body heater. I found myself automatically scooting closer to him, realizing that maybe I had been a little cold after all. Between the blankets and his body heat, there was no way I'd be chilly tonight.

I was tired. The feeling came over me all at once as I settled into the bed and Al's embrace. It wasn't just physical exhaustion I was feeling, but mental as well. I was tired of the bullshit that had been happening the last few months, tired of the drama that had been my life for the last four years. And I was tired of being single, surrounded by couples, or even people who were just fucking. It was nice to be held again by someone, comforting even. None of the guys I'd slept with in the past had been big on cuddling just for the sake of it. Al seemed like the cuddly type.

Maybe this wouldn't be such a bad thing. While I wasn't really attracted to Al in a sexual way, I could definitely get used to his warmth, his arms around me.

Softly, I sighed, and then I was asleep.

* * *

The next morning, I woke to my alarm. Sleepily, I reached out to hit the snooze button on my phone, wanting just a few more minutes in the warm cocoon of the bed. Before I had much time to try to fall back asleep, though, a chorus of expletives brought me fully into consciousness.

I couldn't hear the words very well, only making out the occasional, "shit," "fuck," and "goddammit," but I knew immediately who it was: Tobias. I sat up quickly to hear the stream of curses coming from the bathroom. Beside me, Al blearily opened his eyes, looking at me confusedly.

"What the hell...?" he muttered, turning to look at the bathroom door as well.

I pursed my lips. "Four doesn't sound happy," I replied, wondering what had him swearing already. I didn't think he'd be that upset by seeing me and Al cuddling - though it might have been a contributing factor - so something else must have happened. "I should see what's wrong."

Al pursed his lips, looking disappointed, but nodded. I climbed over his legs carefully and went to the bathroom door. Tobias was still swearing, but not as frequently. Hesitantly, I knocked on the door. "Four?" I asked, trying not to be too loud in case Christina and Will were still sleeping, but wanting him to hear me. "Are you okay?"

The sink was running in the bathroom and his mutters sounded like they were right at the door. I heard another, "Goddammit," before the door opened abruptly. There was blood on the counter, pinkish water in the sink, and a blood-soaked hand towel clenched in Tobias's fist.

"What the hell?" I stepped into the bathroom at the same moment he reached out and pulled me in there. "Tobias, what happened?"

He gritted his teeth, pulling the towel away from his hand. "I broke a glass, and it sliced my hand," he replied, holding his hand under the water again. "Goddammit." He hissed out a few more curses. Water ran pink from his hand as it continued to bleed.

I eyed him for a moment, wondering how he'd ended up breaking a glass, then stepped closer to him. "Let me see your hand," I insisted, reaching for his wrist.

"I'm fine," he grumbled, pulling it out from under the water, away from me, and closer to his face to look at the cut.

"Let me see it." I reached for him again, getting annoyed.

He shot me a little glance, eyes narrowed slightly. "I'm fine, Tris," he said again, looking back at his hand.

"Then why the fuck did you pull me in here if you aren't going to let me help you?" I half-shouted, not caring if I woke up everyone else in the room. "Jesus, Tobias, stop being a stubborn asshole and let me see your goddamned hand."

Tobias froze, his eyes on me again. I took advantage of his shock - presumably from hearing me swear so much in one sentence, as I'm typically not the most vulgar of our group - and grabbed his hand, yanking it close to me.

Blood was pooling in the lines of his palm again, so I took the rag, now damp from where he'd let it fall into the sink, and dabbed at the blood so I could see the cut.

"Shit," he hissed, flinching. He tried to pull his hand away, but I held him tight.

"Don't be such a baby," I muttered at him, dabbing again. Part of me felt a little surge of vindication as he sucked in a breath between his teeth. While I wasn't looking to deliberately cause him pain, I didn't exactly mind if I pressed the cloth to his palm a little too roughly.

The bleeding finally slowed. I perused his hand for a moment, then nodded. "Stitches would be beneficial, but I don't think you _need_ them desperately," I murmured, lifting my gaze to Tobias's.

He was watching me, his deep blue eyes intent on my face. His brows were drawn together, whether in pain or concentration, I wasn't sure. When our eyes met, he looked away, an annoyed expression on his face. "Great," he grumbled, trying to pull his hand away from mine again.

I held his wrist fast between my fingers. He looked at me once again, not trying to hide the frustration in his face. "Stay here, I'm going to get the first aid kit," I told him firmly.

Without waiting for his reaction, I exited the bathroom. Al looked at me, curious and perhaps a little hurt. He'd already put the sofa bed up and was making coffee. There was a double-bagged bundle by the door: the broken glass, I presumed. I knocked softly on the bedroom door, waiting for Christina to open it. She looked concerned.

"What the hell is going on?" she hissed, pulling me into the room. I was getting tired of being yanked into rooms. "We heard you yelling in the bathroom, Al was cleaning up broken glass, and since when do you call Four 'Tobias'?"

I picked through one of the bags until I found the little first aid kit we kept on hand in every hotel room. "I'm not sure what's going on. _Four_ broke a glass and cut his hand up, and he's being a little baby about it," I grumbled, exiting the room without another word. I was already irritated enough.

Back in the bathroom, Tobias was sitting on the closed toilet, looking at his phone with a deep scowl on his face. When I entered, he locked his phone like it held the world's secrets and he couldn't share them with anyone. I glanced at him suspiciously, then sat on the tub across from him.

"What happened?" I asked grumpily, pulling his hand toward me again. The cut was still bleeding, but nowhere near as badly as before. Blood was beginning to dry around the angry red skin. I opened the first aid kit over one leg, and held his hand on my other knee.

"I broke a glass," he muttered back, sounding like he was in just as foul of a mood as I was.

I gave him a withering look before squeezing some antibiotic ointment on the cut. He sucked in a breath again. "No shit," I muttered. "Why? What was on your phone?"

He was silent for a few moments, acting like he was going to try to keep that from me, before sighing. "Eric," he grumbled, looking away from me and at his phone.

I took a few butterfly closures from the kit and began to apply them to the cut. It wasn't a terribly deep gash, but it was in the center of his palm, running from below his index finger to the opposite corner of his palm. It would take a while to heal. "What about him?" I asked, furrowing my brow in concentration.

"He's starting shit already." Truth, but not the complete truth.

"And?" I asked, setting the last closure on his palm. "Don't move your hand."

"And what?" He sighed, frowning down at his palm.

I started to wrap gauze around his palm. "That's not the only thing bothering you," I glanced over at him briefly and shook my head. After four years, I had learned a thing or two about his moods, and whether he was telling the truth about what was on his mind. It had taken awhile, but I had figured him out a little.

When I looked back up at him, there was a frustrated blush on his face, coloring his cheeks and down his neck. I drew my lips together in a line before nodding. "Hold that," I mumbled. I had a theory on what else was bothering him. "It was cold, Al was warm," I said neutrally as I ripped off a piece of tape.

Tobias sucked in a breath before I even touched him. Jackpot. "It's...whatever, Tris," he mumbled. "Shit." He swore as I pressed the tape over the gauze just a little harder than necessary.

"Okay," I said, looking up at him almost challengingly. "You should think about stitches. And an acoustic set with Zeke."

With the mood and conversation changed to the band, Tobias rubbed his hand - the uninjured one - down his face and around the back of his neck. "Fuck," he drew out the word. "I hadn't thought of that yet." It was his left hand he'd cut, the one that he used for chords on the guitar.

"No time like the present," I said and walked out of the bathroom, leaving him to his self-inflicted misery.


	12. House Punch

**Author's Note: 'Sup guys! Here is chapter 12, at last! Heads up...this chapter might trigger some people. So please read on carefully. You've been warned. Otherwise, please enjoy this excellently beta'd chapter, thanks to BK2U!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the Divergent Trilogy universe, but I did think of this plot.**

* * *

 **12\. House Punch**

 _Tobias's hands were strong as he grabbed my waist, pulling my body against his. I could feel each of his fingertips against my bare skin, the pressure of his grasp fluctuating as the moments passed. His face was so close, his eyes a dark blue as they pierced mine. Our combined weight in the middle of the bed caused the mattress to dip, bringing us closer as we lay on our sides. My feet tangled in his legs, the hair on his calves tickling my skin a little._

 _He leaned in, pressing his lips against mine in a series of slow, soft caresses. Each kiss was like a jolt of tingling energy as he gently nipped at my lips. I could already feel warmth and desire rising within me. Then his hand moved down my body until he was cupping my bottom. In one swift movement, he yanked me closer and I could feel the beginnings of his erection pressing against me. I sighed into his mouth._

 _Then his lips explored down my neck, gently nibbling at my skin. His teeth nipped playfully at my collarbone. He rolled us so he was leaning over me, his hips pinning me against the bed. I felt him grow harder against me as I rolled my body under his. He moaned against my skin, a soft, breathy sound, then bit more roughly. I cried out at the burst of pleasure charging through me, and leaned my head back further, offering him more skin._

 _He began to undulate his hips against mine, rubbing himself against me. Tobias's lips returned to mine, kissing me fervently; it seemed he couldn't get enough of me or my mouth. I moaned into the kiss as he pressed against my center in just the right way, and I wanted more. I wanted more of his kisses, more of his body pressed against mine, more of his touches, more of him._

 _I needed this._

* * *

My alarm suddenly began blaring. My eyes shot open at the sound, bringing me back to reality. I groaned a little, remembering how great Tobias felt entwined with me in my dream, wondering if my subconscious had projected anything close to what he would actually feel like. It had been so long that I couldn't really remember. Then I felt confusion as a hand curled around my waist, pulling me against a warm chest.

"Gonna turn that off?" came Al's sleepy voice.

Then I remembered where I was and who I was with, and reached for my phone. As I pulled the phone to me, Al's arm completely encircled me, holding me closer. A weight settled in the pit of my stomach as my brain warred with the feelings this was giving me —comfort being one of them — and the arousal I still felt from the Tobias dream.

"Is it really time to get up?" he murmured, lips near my hair. I shivered.

"Guess so," I replied softly, not sure what I should do right now, or about anything else. Al was attainable. While he wasn't my first choice — he really had never been a choice for me — he was here, he would treat me well, and Christina would remind me that he would make Tobias jealous.

As if trying to spur me into an answer, I felt his breath on the back of my neck, warm and light. Then I felt his lips against my skin, just the slightest touch. A small tremble went through my body, more because it tickled than aroused me. Still, I let him kiss the back of my neck lightly — he could only do that for so long, right? — and let him keep his hand around my waist, splayed out against my stomach.

Then I heard people starting to move in the other room, so I shifted a little, moving away from him just enough for him to get the picture.

As the door opened, I sat up on the bed, smoothing my hair down. Al shifted and looked up at the ceiling, placing his hand on the small of my back. Tobias glanced at us, a dark expression on his face. I still wasn't sure if it was from seeing us together in bed or if he was just grumpy in the mornings. I decided I didn't particularly care which one right now, even if it was hard to get the feel of him kissing me in my dream out of my mind.

I was going to have to do something about these _feelings_ soon.

* * *

It was Saturday, the busier day of the convention. The weather had been less than spectacular, raining almost constantly. It made everything more difficult. Setting up the booth had been hard because the poles had been wet and slippery. Rain had somehow found its way into the totes full of shirts; I'd pinned those up on our stand in hopes that they would dry. Then, too, the transporting of instruments had been difficult. Dauntless had been forced to play in a tent for their outdoor shows.

That hadn't been completely awful, though. With Tobias's sliced hand, he couldn't easily play his guitar. That had resulted in some nice, mostly-acoustic sets with Zeke. I'd managed to catch the tail end of one show, up in the booth with Al. Even though Will was still learning the songs, he'd done really well; they'd almost sounded the same as when I'd first heard them.

The transition was not going to be easy, with Will hopefully replacing Eric permanently. Will was good, but not quite as good as Eric had been. He still needed to play "off the sheet", whereas Eric had known everything by heart and had been able to improvise when needed. Everyone else seemed confident that things would be all right, though.

It was almost eleven when Christina practically skipped back over to the booth. The last show had just finished, and she'd wanted to see Will play in it. Now, though, there was going to be a swarm of people coming back to the booth for merch and autographs.

"How was the show?" I asked as Christina began to settle in for the incoming insanity.

She looked at me, beaming. "It was amazing. Will was great," she gushed, grinning proudly. I smiled back at her. "I mean, he had a few moments where he looked a little panicked, but he recovered quickly enough. I'm so proud of him!"

Again I smiled at her, unsure of what to say. I'd never been so incredibly proud of someone like that. Sure, I was definitely proud of my friends and my family, but there seemed to be a different level when it involved one's significant other. When I thought back to Caleb finishing his undergrad in medical research, I remembered being very happy for him; as I looked at Christina, she was practically glowing as she fiddled with the stock on the table.

A few minutes later, Tobias and the others were escorted around the corner by a few members of convention security, a large crowd of fans following closely. I looked at Christina and took a deep breath. "Ready?" I asked her, turning to look back at the crowd again as the band members walked to either side of the table, flanking us.

Beside me, Christina nodded. "Hell, yeah."

* * *

"Oh my God, earlier was so insane!" Christina laughed as she leaned into Will's shoulder. "There we so many people!"

I laughed with her and sipped my beer, nodding and shifting closer to Al. "I didn't think it would ever end!" I smiled a little, feeling buzzed, as Al put his arm around my shoulders. He'd stopped by the booth a few times today to bring me food and drinks and to hold my hand, like he was doing now.

Christina grabbed Will's leg, squeezing. "You signed so many autographs, Will!" she squealed, her excitement renewing. Will just blushed at her, nodding as he sipped his drink.

'Insane' didn't really begin to cover how the rest of the evening had gone. The autograph session had run over by at least an hour, and we sold a decent amount of stock at the same time. What had really bogged us down were the crazy number of selfies taken with the band, which meant that they had to gather together for each photo then resume their places at the table.

I hadn't missed the way Tobias had taken advantage of every chance to touch me as he moved behind me. He'd placed his hand on my lower back or gently grabbed my shoulders, squeezing lightly. I was fairly positive he had felt the way I shivered when his fingers trailed down my arms or when he _accidentally_ brushed my hair off my neck.

I was pretty sure he'd noticed all of those things, based on how he was looking at me from across the hotel room. Our eyes met, and we held each other's gaze for a moment before I looked away with a blush.

"Watch my drink for a minute?" I asked Christina as I started to stand. "I need to pee." I set my beer on the coffee table, then carefully extricated myself from Al's embrace. Thankfully, the bathroom wasn't occupied when I got there. I couldn't help it; when I drank, I had to pee constantly and couldn't hold it. More than two beers and that was it, I'd have to pee every other drink from then until the next morning.

As I washed my hands, I thought about Tobias and my dream. I wondered what it would be like to go sit next to him on the couch instead of Al, and to have Tobias's arms wrapped around me. I couldn't remember if his embrace was just as warm. I knew just by looking at them that Al was a lot softer than Tobias.

After a quick glance at my hair in the mirror, I left the bathroom, still thinking about Tobias's arms around me. Then I felt a hand on my arm, pulling me into the bedroom area. Blurred thoughts of 'what the hell' spun in my head and I wondered if anyone had seen it happen. Then I saw him: tall, dark hair, blue eyes. My heart caught in my throat.

"Tobias," I breathed, taking a small step backwards. The wall was there suddenly, pressing against my back. I blinked and Tobias was at my front, his hands on my waist. His touch was light, almost hesitant.

I looked up at him, watching as he slowly bent his head toward me. Time seemed to slow down as he moved in. My gaze strayed down to his lips for a moment then back to his eyes. I wasn't sure where I wanted to look.

Excitement bubbled up in me. I had just been thinking of him and here he was, about to kiss me.

Then he stopped when there was barely a millimeter between our lips. All I had to do was breathe and we'd be kissing. I held my breath.

He whispered my name; it sounded like a prayer on his lips. And then his lips were softly touching mine, moving slowly just as they had in my dream. My eyes fluttered shut and I exhaled lightly against his mouth, sighing into the affection. His hands went further around me, fingers digging into my back as he held me against him. I put my hands on his shoulders, slowly reaching back around his neck until my fingers touched. His hair was just long enough to run my fingers through it, and it felt good against my skin.

 _He_ felt good against my skin. His lips were much gentler than I thought they'd be during this kiss. I had expected rushed exchanges of kisses, hands almost too rough and possessive. Instead, this was tender, and completely unexpected.

I was getting wet. I could feel the burst of arousal surging through me, gathering at my center. A soft noise, like a sigh and a moan combined, escaped me. Tobias parted his lips against mine, drawing my lower lip between his for a moment. I exhaled again, enjoying the feel of his mouth against mine. Then I moved on instinct, mirroring his movement. I took it a step further and nipped gently at his lip, my teeth sinking ever so slightly into his skin. A moan escaped him, the volume surprising me. He had really liked that, I observed, and I made a promise to myself to find out what else he liked.

Then there was laughter from the other room, loud enough to break the spell between us. Tobias kissed me again quickly, a little harder than he had been, then stepped back. I stood there, leaning against the wall, feeling stunned. That had been a hell of a kiss. I brought a shaking hand to my lips for a moment, just to touch them.

Tobias was watching me.

I lowered my hand and smiled at him shyly. "We should go back out there," I murmured, jerking my head toward the door and the laughter. He just nodded wordlessly, then opened the door.

No one noticed as we exited the room together. I cast a longing glance at him as we parted ways. He resumed his place by the booze, easily slipping back into a conversation with Zeke. His eyes followed me as I returned to the couch, sitting next to Al once more.

Christina eyed me curiously for a moment; I knew she could see the post-kiss expression on my face, and I would be in for an interrogation later. Right now, though, I was safe.

There were some new people around us now, and I didn't recognize any of them. Apparently, they all worked at various booths and were friends of friends. They'd brought their own booze to contribute, and that was pretty much the only rule for non-Dauntless members/workers. Things were a little squished on the couch, with much shifting. Somehow, I ended up on Al's lap; his hands around my waist.

"You look like you need a drink!" said one of the new people, a tattooed guy with a mop of brown hair, as he shoved a Solo cup into my hands.

I laughed a little, still feeling giddy. "Thanks. What is it?" I asked, then took a sip. Al's hands tightened around my waist momentarily.

The guy shrugged a little. "House punch, really. Let me know what you think," he asked, eyeing me intently.

I took another sip, really tasting it. It was kind of fruity with the definite burn of alcohol. "It's good," I told him, smiling as I continued drinking. He returned my smile. I didn't particularly find him that attractive, but I still found myself blushing a little. Normally, I never blushed; maybe there was more alcohol in this than I'd thought. Still, I drank it. It had been a successful day: there'd been no emergencies, major or minor, and Tobias had kissed me. I squirmed a little on Al's lap, enjoying the feeling that memory gave me.

Christina looked at me for a moment, eyebrows knitted together slightly and lips pulled together. Then someone's hand on her shoulder diverted her attention.

The guy who had given me the drink scooted closer on the coffee table. I looked at him, smiling a little at the fuzzy feeling I had. "So you work for Dauntless?" he asked, smiling a little.

I nodded. "I sell the merch," I replied. My words were heavy in my mouth, like a weight bearing down on my tongue.

"That's cool," the guy said, and I had a feeling that he didn't really think it was cool at all, he was just saying that.

Still, I chatted with the guy, feeling Al's hands tighten around my waist every few minutes as he carried on his own conversations. Occasionally, I'd glance up and see Tobias talking to whoever was around him. We talked about the conventions we'd done, how he'd seen me around, and how he was positive we'd had booths next to each other at some point. It was small talk, and he began to dominate the conversation.

I found myself glad to listen, feeling suddenly very warm. I pulled my hair to one side, exposing the back of my neck so that some of the heat might escape. Listening to the guy became harder as he spoke, things becoming fuzzier with each passing moment. I looked down at my cup — empty — and thought about how many drinks I'd had. Two beers plus this punch shouldn't have gotten me this drunk, yet I felt incredibly intoxicated.

"You all right?" the guy asked me suddenly. This question seemed to get Christina's attention again, because I saw her gaze whip over to me in an instant.

I nodded a little. "Yeah," I murmured, "I think I just need some air." I went to stand up, forgetting that Al's arms were around me.

"Tris?" Christina asked, watching me. She was definitely not sober, but she was still not as drunk as I felt, and she'd had more than I'd had.

"Let me help you," the guy said, standing and offering his hand to me.

My body was heavy. It took a monumental effort to lift my hand to his, letting him pull me to my feet. "I'm fine, Christina," I said to her, "I just want to get some air real quick. It's hot in here." As I spoke, my words felt even heavier than before, thick around my tongue.

"We'll just be in the hallway." I let the brown-haired guy — hadn't he given me his name at some point? — help me out of the room and to the hallway, where I leaned against the wall just outside the door.

The air felt cooler, but not as good as I'd hoped. I still felt hot, uncomfortably so. And nauseated. There was no way I was this intoxicated unless I'd drunk a cup of mostly straight-up liquor. I looked at the guy as he stood next to me. I thought I saw concern on his face, but maybe something else behind it, too. Anticipation? I couldn't tell. Things were fuzzy and it was hard to focus. I was having to lean against the wall heavily to keep from sliding down it.

"Do you want to go to my room?" the guy asked me. "It's just a few doors down. It's quieter and cooler there." He put his hand on my arm, grasping tightly as he tugged me off the wall. Without waiting for an answer, he started to pull me down the hallway.

I shook my head, or thought I did. I felt detached, like I was watching everything happen to me, as this stranger who'd given me a drink pulled me further and further away from my hotel room. I wanted to cry out, to say something in hopes that someone would hear me, but I couldn't. I didn't feel like I was in control of my own body, and all I could do was let this person take me away.

"Wait..." I managed, though I'm not sure it was audible. I kept telling my body to fight back, to pull out of his grasp. It was just so hard, though, and I felt so tired. I couldn't fight him. There was a part of me that knew I should be scared, but I didn't; I felt numb.

I wasn't sure how far we'd gone down the hallway when I heard a distorted voice from somewhere behind us. I wanted to turn to see who it was, but I couldn't. All I could do was lean against this stranger. He stopped, stiffening at the voice.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" It sounded like Christina. "Jesus. What's wrong with her?" Then I felt more hands on me, pulling me away from my would-be captor. "Tris, what's wrong?"

I couldn't keep my eyes open as she tugged on my arm. I just leaned into her side. I heard the guy's voice, just as distant as Christina's had been even though he was just beside me. "She was a little drunk," he said carefully. "I thought I could bring her-"

"Did you drug her?"

 _What_? Had he drugged me?

"Christ, you fucking drugged her! Will! Four!" She was shouting. I couldn't stand on my own now, leaning entirely on her. "Don't you fucking leave, goddammit. Four!"

Then I felt more hands on me, strong ones, and I was pulled into a warm, safe embrace. And that was the last thing I remembered.

* * *

 **(TOBIAS POV)**

I was furious. Red tinged my vision as I held on to the guy's shirt by the collar. I was more than furious, I was fucking livid. Frightened brown eyes looked up at me as I pushed him against the wall.

"Get her inside," I growled at Al. "Get everyone else out." I didn't even spare them a glance, but saw them moving out of the corner of my eye. "What did you give her?"

The guy continued to look at me, eyes widening as he shook his head. "I don't know what you're talking about, man, she was just drunk," he said quickly.

I pulled him away from the wall and slammed him back against it. "Bullshit. What did you give her, motherfucker?" I raised my voice just a little above my 'menacing growl'.

"I didn't-"

I didn't give him another chance to deny it. Without a second thought, I reeled my fist back and let it fly, connecting with his nose. Pain erupted in my hand from the cut; it only fueled me further. "Tell me, goddammit, or we're calling the cops and you get arrested for drug possession and whatever else I can convince them to pin on you."

Zeke stepped out into the hallway, pushing Shauna back into the room when he saw me. He stepped closer, but stayed far enough away that he wouldn't be in the direct line of fire if this guy wanted to fight.

He had blood streaming from his nose and a dazed expression on his face now. His mouth worked for a few moments, making him look like a fish, before he finally managed to speak. "Roofies," he said at last. "That's it, I swear."

I exhaled heavily. "You fucking asshole." I slammed the guy against the wall again, then shoved him away from me. It took everything I had not to hit him again; my fists were clenched, despite the searing pain from reopening the cut. "Get the fuck out of here. If I see you near her again, I will fucking kill you."

He didn't wait to be told a second time. He darted around the corner to the elevator and was gone in an instant. When I was sure he was gone, I let my fist connect with the wall. "Fuck."

How had this happened, right in front of everyone? I'd kept an eye on her all night, especially after that kiss. As infuriating as it had been to see her sitting on Al's lap, I'd thought she'd be okay there. Christina had been there, too, and she was probably the most protective person with Tris. When I'd noticed her talking to the guy, they'd looked familiar with each other, so I'd figured it was someone she knew from one show or another. I'd missed the moment they'd gone out of the room, but when I saw Christina getting up, something had felt wrong. I hadn't been far behind her.

"You okay, man?" Zeke asked after a moment, hesitantly putting his hand on my arm.

His touch broke me out of my thoughts. I pulled my hand away from the wall; my knuckles were split and there was a slight dent in the wall. I shook my head. "That fucker drugged Tris," I growled.

"You should have called the cops," he said.

I shook my head. "No. I'll do him one better. I'm pretty sure he's a vendor," I murmured.

Zeke nodded beside me, understanding the threat. "Let's go back to the room, see how Tris is."

With a little nod, I followed Zeke to the room. My body was still shaking with rage; I had to calm down before I saw her. If I looked at Tris while I was still this angry, I'd go after that guy and beat him to death. I took a few deep breaths as we approached the door. As we opened it, others were starting to file out. I stiffened as they passed, fists clenched at my sides.

Then I saw a familiar face in the line, one I knew was a vendor. I grabbed his shoulder, stopping his exit. Zeke turned abruptly, watching me.

"What the hell, man?" he asked. He had sandy blond hair and a scruffy beard.

"Those all your guys?" I growled at him, indicating the group who had stopped and were nervously watching.

He nodded a little, guilt rushing to his eyes. "Look, whatever-"

"Save it. I hope this was a profitable weekend for you," was all I said, then shoved him away. "Fucker." He was too scrawny to do anything to me, but I still watched as he left, glaring at me over his shoulder.

Zeke just shook his head as we walked into the main room, which was empty. I entered the bedroom to see Christina sitting on the bed beside Tris, who didn't seem to be conscious. Anger flared up in me again and I had to take another set of deep breaths before walking any closer to her. Al looked at me from his spot by Tris's feet and pursed his lips.

"How's she doing?" I asked, stopping beside the bed.

Christina looked at me, worry on her face. "She's passed out. What'd he give her?" she asked, looking back down at Tris.

"Roofies," I answered quietly. I wasn't trying to be quiet to avoid waking Tris, I was trying desperately not to scream in rage.

"Goddammit," Christina whispered. "How did this happen? I was there the whole time!" Her voice cracked — was she crying?

I shrugged and sat on the bed opposite them. "I'm not sure," I replied, trying not to sound angry. While I was pissed, I wasn't pissed at Christina, or Al, or anyone else in the room.

"It must have been when he gave her that drink," Al said quietly, placing a hand on her calf.

Jealousy surged up in me, but I forced it back down. "Probably," was all I said.

"Shit," Christina whispered, wiping tears away from her face. "I feel like such a bad friend."

Will reached out and touched her shoulder. "Babe," he murmured. "There was no way you could have done anything about it."

"Yes, there is! I could have kept a better eye on her-"

"We _all_ could have kept a better eye on _everyone_ ," he interjected.

"And I could have not let her drink it!"

Will shook his head. "You couldn't have known."

Before they could argue any more, Tris suddenly gagged. I had the trashcan there in an instant, holding her over it as she vomited. My shoulders sagged as I watched. Christina pulled her hair away from her face while Al rubbed her back. I squeezed my eyes shut.

"I'll stay up with her," I said, when she seemed to be done puking for the moment.

Al sat up straighter. "We can take shifts," he suggested.

I shook my head firmly. "No, I've got this," I insisted.

"You-"

"I can sing in my sleep; you need to be awake on the soundboard." I fixed him with a steely glare. "I'll stay up with her."

We stared at each other for a few moments before Al backed down. He slid off the bed and out of the room. Christina was watching me curiously. I frowned at her. "I'll ask Marlene to help you at the table tomorrow. Tris will have to rest."

She nodded at me a little, then started to slide off the bed. She walked around to Tris's head and was just reaching out to touch her when the small form on the bed jerked. Christina grabbed the trash can again and held it for her.

This was going to be a long night.


	13. Recovery

**Author's Note: Oh my goodness hi guys, thank you so much to those who are hanging in there with me! This has been crazy the last few days. I wasn't at my house and didn't have my laptop or this would have been up a few days earlier because my beta, BK2U, is an amazing woman and deserves love and props. Anyways, I'm very sorry that this chapter took so long, it really didn't want to be written and there were a few false starts after the first scene change. I might post them as "deleted scenes" to my tumblr (tehriona) if anyone is interested in them. They're just a few paragraphs, but if anyone wants to read them, I'll post them. (One of them is honestly like...two paragraphs.) I also posted something to my tumblr aimed at any readers who are over there, so hopefully you guys saw it. But without any further ado, here is chapter 13. I hope you guys enjoy it.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the Divergent universe, but I did think of this plot.**

* * *

 **13\. Recovery**

When I woke the next morning - was it even morning? - I instantly felt a massive throbbing in my skull. I groaned, feeling like someone was frantically hammering away inside my head. I buried my head in the pillow and pulled the blanket over me to block out the light. I wasn't sure what had happened or how much I'd drunk to earn the hangover from hell, but all I wanted to do was sleep until I felt like a person again.

I must have dozed off, because when I started regaining consciousness I could hear the television playing quietly in the background and I could feel someone on the bed beside me. My head was still throbbing, but not as badly as before. Tentatively, I shifted, anticipating a wave of pain to overcome me. Instead, I felt my stomach lurch. A whine escaped me, a weak and scared sound.

"Fuck," I moaned, pulling the blanket down my face a little. I was a little freaked out when I saw that it was after 2 PM, but I really couldn't force myself to care. Four could yell at me later for sleeping in; I felt like death warmed over, and my mouth tasted like something had crawled in there and died.

"How are you feeling?" asked the voice beside me: Al.

I turned slowly, the nausea causing me to move with great trepidation. For some reason, I felt like I'd already puked up everything I could, or at least I hoped that was the case. "Like shit," I grumbled. "What the hell happened?"

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone to start texting. "Hang on. Four will want to know you're awake," he muttered, not sounding pleased about the text.

Right. Inadvertently, I'd pitted them against each other. Well, actually, if I was being honest, it wasn't really that inadvertent. Better to call it an 'unavoidable consequence' since I'd definitely been trying to make Four jealous. I wasn't sure if Christina was wearing off on me or if I was just feeling that crappy, but I couldn't muster up the effort to care about that very much, either. I sighed and turned onto my side again, since that seemed to be the most comfortable position in which to rest.

What the hell happened last night? The last thing I remembered was being in the hotel room after probably one of the better shows Dauntless had played, despite the circumstances, and we'd all been celebrating. Had I really drunk that much? I hardly remembered drinking, though. Most of the night was really fuzzy, up until the point where I just couldn't recall anything at all until this morning.

I'd never been blackout drunk before, but if this was what it felt like the next day, I never wanted to do it again.

Al's hand came to rest on my shoulder, bringing me back from trying to remember last night. I turned my head a little to peer at him, then shifted again, sliding further into the bed. "What happened?" I asked again, though I was pretty sure he wouldn't tell me. I just had a feeling that he was waiting for someone else to do it.

As if reading my mind, he sighed. "Just wait until Four gets here," he murmured. "He wanted to be the one to tell you." Gently, he squeezed my shoulder. "Do you want anything to drink?"

I nodded a little, still wary of jostling my head too much. I did _not_ want to bring back that headache. "Water. And all the headache pills we have. Fuck my liver," I muttered, sighing.

Al laughed a little, but scooted off the bed carefully, as if he knew I was trying to keep that atrocious pain in my skull at bay. I sighed before thinking better of it; my mouth tasted foul, even to me. "Maybe a breath mint, too, or something." I didn't know if he'd hear me, but I hoped he would.

He returned a few moments later with a water bottle in one hand while his other hand was clenched into a fist. When he offered me the bottle, I shifted slowly until I was leaning on one elbow, elevated enough to drink. Then he held out his other hand, dropping two pills into my palm. "Thank God," I murmured, swallowing the pills immediately.

"And this," he said, pulling out a small, aluminum tin from his pocket. Breath mints. I chuckled a little and took two of them, hoping they'd help.

After Al resettled on the bed, only jostling me a little in the process, he reached for the remote again. There were subtitles scrolling across the screen, slightly out of sync with the movie playing. I tried to watch for a moment, but trying to focus made my head hurt too much. Instead, I shut my eyes and tried to will away the dizzy feeling. I was still trying to piece together the previous night, but was failing miserably at remembering anything past just being in the hotel room.

Then I frowned a little. "Did you sleep here?" I asked, not turning to look at Al. "Where did Four sleep?"

Even though I couldn't see him, I could feel him pause before speaking. "No, I slept on the couch. Four was here all night," he replied.

If I hadn't been confused before, I definitely was now. How had I ended up sleeping in Tobias's bed when I was supposed to be sleeping on the couch with Al? Had I just passed out here and they hadn't wanted to move me? God, it would be so embarrassing to me if I passed out from being blackout drunk.

I heard the door to the room open and shut. Opening my eyes took a herculean amount of effort, but when I did, I saw Tobias sitting on the bed across from me. Then I remembered something else from last night: we kissed. A hot blush crept up my neck and I sucked in a sharp breath.

"Oh, God," I groaned, pulling the blanket up past my ears now. I hadn't even thought of this prospect: had I come onto him and made a total fool of myself? Was he firing me because of something I'd done when I was totally and utterly drunk? If he was, couldn't he wait until I wasn't experiencing the worst hangover of my life?

"Hey," he murmured, his voice sounding entirely too soft for someone about to potentially deliver my pink slip. "Tris." He tugged gently at the blanket until I relented, letting it fall away from my face. "Do you want to sit up?"

While I'd been able to suppress the urge to vomit earlier, I wasn't so sure I'd be as successful if I changed positions. When Al avoided telling me what had happened, I just assumed it was because Tobias had basically ordered him not to tell me until he was present. I honestly hadn't thought too much about anything I'd done while drunk. Now that Tobias was here, so many embarrassing scenarios were whirling through my head.

Reluctantly, I nodded a little, still blushing. I started to shift until I was in something approximating an upright position, but a wave of dizziness began to swirl in my head. Black dots swam in front of my eyes for a few moments before clearing, revealing Tobias's face close to mine. He looked concerned, not at all like he might fire me. That was a hopeful sign, at least.

"Tris?" Even his voice was concerned, and the hand that was gripping my arm was gentle. "Are you okay? Do you need to throw up again?"

"Again?" I moaned. "Jesus, just how drunk was I last night?" I didn't care how miserable or pathetic I sounded now. I just wanted to know what the hell happened.

Tobias pursed his lips a little and shifted on the edge of the bed. His hand moved to the blanket on top of my thigh, a reassuring weight in this otherwise excruciating moment. "You weren't drunk last night, Tris," he said carefully, like he was explaining something to a child. His blue eyes hardened with anger. "You were drugged."

The words hit me like a ton of bricks. "I was...drugged?" I repeated, dumbfounded. "Are you...are you sure?"

He nodded, his features darkening a little more. "Yeah, Tris, I'm sure. Some people joined the party and one of the guys slipped something in your drink. Christina was the one who realized what was going on and got you."

I felt the color draining from my face now. Bile was rising in my throat at the scenarios running through my head. "What...did he...oh, shit. Did he do anything to me?" Panic welled up, too, constricting my throat.

Tobias shook his head quickly, quelling the feeling. "No, no," he said hurriedly. "No. She saw him walk with you out of the room and that was as far as he got with you, I swear." He reached up and touched my cheek, fingers gentle against my skin, but his voice brimming with anger. "Trust me, if someone tried to do anything like that to you...well...they won't live to regret it."

I felt a slight burn in my cheeks as a blush of color returned. Relief flooded through me with his words. I didn't know what I would have done if he'd said something had happened to me, but I didn't want to spend any more time dwelling on it. A breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding escaped between my lips, and I really hoped those mints were working.

"That explains a lot, though," I murmured after a moment, shutting my eyes as I leaned back against the headboard. Tobias's hand fell away from my cheek. "Like my raging headache."

Al spoke up at last. I'd almost forgotten he was there beside me. "Are those headache pills working?" he asked, touching my shoulder.

Suddenly, I felt uncomfortable with both of these men touching me or trying to touch me. I shrugged a little, effectively making Al drop his hand. "A little," I murmured. "Who's at the booth with Christina?"

Tobias sighed loudly. "Seriously, Tris? You were drugged last night, and the first thing you ask is who's helping at the booth?" He gave a slight chuckle.

"You should give her a raise, Four. She works harder than anyone else here," Al laughed, too.

I rolled my eyes at them and started to slither down into the bed again. "Yeah, yeah," I muttered. "I'm assuming things are taken care of, so in that case, I'm going back to sleep."

And without another word, I was out.

* * *

When I woke up next, I felt significantly closer to being a person again. My head wasn't pounding, though there was a dull ache at the back of my skull. The only really noticeable problem was the soreness in my entire body, and that was enough to make me want to stay under the covers. But then my stomach growled, and I realized that I was _starving_. When had I eaten last?

Slowly, I moved to a sitting position. The nausea from earlier was blessedly absent, but I still didn't try to get out of bed quite yet.

The Amazing Spiderman 2 played softly on the TV; Gwen was breaking up with Peter. I frowned a little, watching as they cried. I'd only seen this movie once, so it still got to me a little, the emotion in their voices. I dreaded the ending.

A few minutes passed before I heard the door to the room open. Al walked in, holding a bag that was emanating the most glorious scent. Food. Thank the Lord.

"Oh, good, you're awake," he said, smiling at me softly.

"Please tell me that food is for both of us," I blurted, unable to help myself.

The smile on his face widened and he nodded. "Yeah. Four thought you'd be hungry, so he had me bring it up from the café," he answered, sitting on the edge of the bed.

That brought a smile to my face. "Where is everyone else?" I asked. It was after six, so the convention must be over; they were probably tearing down the booth.

Al pulled out two wrapped sandwiches, handing one to me. "Four is handling some last minute details," Al replied, not meeting my eyes. "He had to talk to the vending coordinator about something."

I frowned. "That isn't good. Do you know what's up? Everything okay with our booth?"

He nodded quickly, but still wouldn't look at me. "Yeah, everything is fine with us."

Hesitantly, I started in on my sandwich. Al wasn't telling me something; I could always tell with him. If I really wanted to, I knew I could get him to spill whatever secret he had. But did I really want to take advantage of him like that?

I turned my attention back to the television as I ate my sandwich. My focus didn't stay on it for very long, though, as I pondered Al. His free hand was on my leg, thumb moving gently back and forth over the blanket. Still, I felt his touch like a burn. When I glanced up at his face, he was watching the movie intently, slowly eating his sandwich. After a few moments, he turned to look back at me, smiling as he caught my gaze. I blushed and looked away quickly.

I wasn't considering him, not at all. Al was just a friend. Thinking about this weekend with him, I began to feel uneasy. While I hadn't exactly been leading him on, I had deliberately avoided discouraging his affections. Wasn't that just as bad?

"Everything okay?" His voice cut through my thoughts.

My eyes flicked up to his quickly; Al was suddenly very close. I sat back a little, or tried to, before the headboard was suddenly behind me. Slowly, I nodded my head, looking down at the paper that had been around my sandwich. I didn't really remember finishing it. "I'm fine," I murmured.

Al shifted closer. "You sure? Do you need anything?"

I was thirsty, and I had to use the bathroom, but I wasn't sure how stable I'd be on my feet. Even though I'd eaten, I still felt lightheaded. Maybe the drugs were still working their way out of my system.

Then his hand was on my chin, lifting my gaze to his. He was even closer. "Tris, it's okay," he murmured, leaning in slowly.

I didn't think, I just reacted. My hand went up to his chest, pushing weakly against him. He stopped just a few inches away from me, eyes on my lips. I pulled my chin out of his grasp, looking away again.

We were quiet for a few moments before Al spoke uncertainly. "Tris? I thought...with everything this weekend..." he trailed off, leaning back a little.

When I finally looked up at him again, I cringed. There was so much sadness reflected in his eyes and in the downward curve of his lips. Guilt washed over me like a tidal wave. I was such a bitch. "You're my friend, Al," I offered weakly. I knew it was totally lame and unfair to have treated him this way.

He was silent again. Slowly, he leaned back, his gaze in his lap. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, "I must have read things wrong."

There it was, the knife-like guilt in my chest. I shook my head slowly. "No, Al, I'm sorry." I bit my lip a little, frustrated. "You didn't...you didn't do anything wrong," I told him. How could I tell him that I'd essentially been playing him all weekend? I couldn't see a way to tell him without sounding like the massive bitch I'd been, ultimately hurting him more.

"Are you sure?" he asked, sounding annoyed now. He looked up at me, the hurt in his eyes renewed. "Because it sure feels like it to me."

I nodded, feeling tears well in my eyes. "Al, please don't do that. I'm sorry. If anyone did something wrong, it's me. I'm so sorry." A tear spilled over my cheek; I swiped it away quickly before he could say anything about it.

Before either of us had a chance to speak further, I heard the door to the room open, followed by Christina's voice calling my name. Relief flooded through me at her arrival. I didn't know what else to say to Al after my apology, so I was glad for the interruption.

As soon as she entered the room, she paused, realizing the tense moment she'd walked in on. Carefully, I slid out of the bed, trying not to touch Al, and stumbled over to my friend. My legs felt wobbly after being in the bed for so long, but the bathroom wasn't that far, thankfully. As soon as the door shut, I looked up at Christina's confused expression.

"What the hell?" she asked, leaning back against the door with her gaze on me.

"He tried to kiss me," I blurted out. "And I really need to pee, so bear with me." I didn't wait for her answer before taking care of business.

She just blinked, her confusion deepening. "Okay?" She gave me a nonplussed look.

I shook my head, looking down at my feet. "I couldn't do it, Chris," I told her. "I couldn't keep leading him on like that. And then he thought _he_ was the one in the wrong." Another tear streaked down my face and I swiped it away quickly before standing up from the toilet.

As I washed my hands, Christina watched me, intrigued. "You couldn't kiss him because..."

I turned around slowly. "I just couldn't. He looked so hopeful and I just don't feel that way for him; you know that."

She nodded, sighing. "Well, so much for that plan," she murmured.

I shook my head, causing myself to feel dizzy. Carefully, I sat on the edge of the tub, holding my head. "I'm not like you, Christina, I just can't do it," I told her, looking down at my feet. "I'm not going to play with someone else's feelings to try to manipulate someone else, okay?" Then I looked up at her, frowning. "I can't do it anymore. I can't."

She looked at me, pursing her lips, then nodded. "Yeah, sure," she said tersely. She felt behind her for the door handle, then said, "Four wanted me to tell you he'd be up to the room shortly. Do you want me to tell Al he can leave, or do you want to just let him figure it out on his own when you start hanging all over Four?"

My jaw dropped at her words, the hurt stinging like a slap. She didn't wait for me to reply before leaving the bathroom. I bit my lip, letting the self-loathing wash over me. Not only had I crushed the feelings of one of my friends, I'd carelessly insulted another. When I said I wasn't like her, I hadn't meant it the way she apparently interpreted it. Still, I'd said it, and managed to fuck another thing up as a result.

An overwhelming desire to get back in bed and hide under the covers overtook me. As much as I wanted to see Tobias, maybe it would be best if he stayed away so I didn't fuck things up with him, too. I couldn't afford to lose any more relationships.


	14. Please

**Author's Note: Hi lovelies! Thank you all for sticking around with me, you're wonderful. :) I read and adore each and every review I get, and all the views. It makes me happy to see how many people have come by to read this story! And I love seeing all the new readers I'm getting! You guys rock my world. Many thanks to my beta, BK2U for getting this chapter done so quickly upon receiving it! She's awesome. This chapter is, well...it's gonna be good. And definitely deserves the M rating. So, without any further ado, please enjoy.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Divergent Trilogy or anything from its universe but I did think of this plot.**

* * *

 **14\. Please**

When I walked into my hotel room, I felt an uneasiness lingering in the quiet. I rubbed the back of my neck, hesitating for only a moment before heading toward the bedroom. It was empty, the one bed still unmade from where Tris had been recuperating.

On my way to the room I'd seen Al and Christina, one looking dejected and the other looking pissed. Neither had stopped to offer me any explanation as they walked past me and down the hallway. What the hell had happened today? More to the point, what the hell had happened this weekend? Or even these last few weeks? It felt like one thing after the other, an unending shit storm churning things up between everyone and leaving us all on edge. I was tired of it.

I sat heavily on the foot of the bed, running one hand over my head. My hair was getting long again. Maybe I'd cut it this week. _He_ had always made me keep it short.

The bathroom door opened slowly; I looked up to see Tris, her expression conflicted as she stared back at me. Her eyes looked red and puffy; it was obvious she'd been crying. Mostly, though, she looked startled - and maybe a little nervous - to see me.

"Hey," I said gently, scooting over some, placing my hand on the bed to invite her over.

Tris leaned against the wall next to the bathroom door instead, crossing her arms over her chest and looking down at the floor. "Hey," she replied flatly.

I frowned at her. Why was she doing this, acting this way? All weekend, she'd run hot and cold with me and it was getting irritating. One moment, she'd stare at me, giving me doe eyes, the next she'd be hanging off of Al, _still_ giving me doe eyes. It was almost as if she wanted me to notice what she was doing, like she was trying to make a point or something. It was confusing, too, because she'd never seemed to show any interest in Al before this weekend. Al had obviously been carrying a torch for her, based on the way he would fawn over her like an eager puppy. I'd never thought she felt the same way for him, though, at least not until I saw them in bed that first morning.

That had been infuriating.

With no small amount of effort, I pushed those thoughts away and took a deep breath. "Are you feeling okay?" I asked, keeping my voice even.

She shrugged, shifting against the wall and pushing her hair behind one ear. "Not really," she answered, glancing up at me for only a moment.

Our kiss from last night surged through my brain, leaving a trail of desire in its wake. It didn't matter that I was a little upset with her; Tris did things to me, even with just the slightest look. I hadn't intended on kissing her last night, but I'd been a little buzzed, and she'd looked so happy. Part of me had hoped that some of her happiness could be transferred to me through that kiss. And it had, for about five minutes, until all hell had broken loose.

I kept my gaze level on her, hoping she'd look up at me again. "Do you need anything?" I asked, deciding to be solicitous instead of digging for answers, at least for now. I knew there had to be some underlying issues, assuming that her tears and Al's and Christina's demeanors were connected; I certainly suspected that they were, given the palpable tension.

Tris surprised me by laughing, though it was watery and shaky. "A do-over for this weekend?" There was no humor in her voice or her eyes as she fixed them on me.

Slowly, I nodded, patting the bed again lightly. "Want to talk about it?" She'd opened the door; I may as well stick a toe through it and see if she was ready to tell me what was going on with her.

I watched her think for a moment, saw the thoughts crossing her face, before she sighed and finally came to sit beside me. "No, not really," she said as she leaned against me. "I really just want to forget this weekend ever happened."

I nodded, carefully putting my arm around her waist to hold her close. She didn't shy away from my touch, so I took that as a good sign. Then my phone began to ring from my pocket. "Shit," I breathed, taking my arm from around her to reach for it gingerly, wary of the cut on my palm. It still throbbed if I moved my hand too much. Before I answered, I gave Tris an apologetic look; she just shrugged, looking down at her lap.

"What's up, Zeke?" I asked, almost dreading what he might have to say. I kept my gaze on Tris.

"Where are you, man?" he asked, sounding excited. "People are already starting to show up to the room up here. You coming?"

I shook my head to myself as I replied, "Nah. I'm staying in tonight." Tris looked at me curiously.

Zeke's disappointment was obvious as he spoke. "After a weekend like this one? It was one of our biggest weekends, Four!"

A sigh escaped me. "Especially after a weekend like this. Something else needs my attention. I'll catch you later." I didn't wait for him to respond; I just hung up the phone and threw it on the other bed.

Tris was staring at me, mouth slightly open and looking a little awestruck. I just shrugged, moving to sit beside her again. "Want to see what's on television?" I asked, deciding to just let things play out however they would.

Tris gave me a nod and a smile, looking grateful for the distraction. Even though it was just a slight curl of her lips, it was enough for me.

I kicked off my boots and scooted back on the bed, grabbing the remote from the end table. The pillows were soft against my back as I leaned against them, propped up against the headboard. Tris joined me, albeit slowly. She didn't sit as close as I wanted her to, but that was okay. She'd had a hard weekend. We both had.

Seeing her with Al all weekend had been frustrating and confusing, especially after the moments we'd shared recently. If I was being honest, I was a little hurt and upset by it, but I felt sure that something else had to have been going on. Whatever it was probably had something to do with the looks I'd seen on his and Christina's faces. I didn't think they'd be upset with Tris without good reason, especially after this weekend. Tris wasn't the type to intentionally hurt others without a good explanation, so all I could do was hope that she would open up to me and tell me what had happened.

After channel surfing for a little while, we settled on the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. An older flick, but still good. It was only about half an hour in, too, and we'd both seen it quite a few times, which gave us the opportunity to relax both our bodies and our minds. Near the end of the movie, I finally glanced down at Tris. We hadn't spoken much, so I wouldn't have been surprised if she'd fallen asleep. Yet she was awake, her eyes fixed on the screen. I wasn't sure if she was actually watching it, though, with how her gaze seemed a little far away.

Slowly, I reached my hand out to hers until my fingers brushed against her skin. She didn't move, so I wrapped my fingers around hers, pulling her hand to my leg. I felt her turn her head, looking up at me with a slight blush. My lips curled as I gazed down at her.

I was just opening my mouth to speak when she suddenly frowned, looking down at her lap again. "I'm sorry," she said quietly, biting her lip.

"What?" I was confused; what was she apologizing for? My eyebrows furrowed at her.

A sigh escaped her as she kept her gaze on her lap. "For...a lot of things. This weekend, mainly. Christina and I had this stupid idea that just...well, it was stupid, and I feel like it did more harm than good. So I'm really-"

I had planned on letting her finish her sentence, I really had. I just wasn't able to help myself as I reached out, gently grasping her chin and lifting her face to mine. My lips cut her off, stifling any other words she may have wanted to say. I tried to be gentle as I kissed her, just a light press of my lips against hers, but as soon as I tasted her, it was like she was water and I was a parched traveler in the desert. I kept kissing her for a few more moments, lips pressing repeatedly against hers until I finally made myself stop. Pulling away from her lips at that moment was the hardest thing that I'd done in a while.

When there were a few inches between our faces, I pulled my lower lip between my teeth, making myself keep that distance. "Sorry," I mumbled, letting out a breath lightly. "I just...it's okay, Tris. Thank you." I appreciated her apology and the kiss was the only way that I felt like I could explain it. Now I was having doubts about it, though. Was kissing her a good idea after what had happened to her only last night? Or after whatever had happened between her and Al and Christina? What if she had been leading up to apologizing about not wanting to pursue anything between us anymore?

I started to sit back, letting doubt overtake my mind. Then I felt her hand on my leg, squeezing around my fingers gently until I looked back over to her. She was blushing, looking up at me from under her lashes.

"It's okay, Tobias," she murmured, echoing me. She was fighting to keep her gaze on me as she spoke, her blush increasing as she did.

As our eyes held, I reached up to touch her cheek, fingers grazing her skin lightly. I swept my thumb along her cheekbone then down to her lips, gently pulling the lower one down. "Can I kiss you again, Tris?" I asked, holding my breath for her answer.

The few seconds before she answered felt like an eternity, spanning on forever. I watched her eyes, dark and stormy now as she held my gaze, saw her considering, saw the hopes and wishes passing in their depths. Then she nodded, and my heart began to beat again.

"Please," she whispered, her skin heating up beneath my touch.

As I pressed my lips to hers this time, I realized this kiss felt different. It wasn't a stolen kiss, snuck in during a time of weakness like a thief in the night. This kiss was given to me, and it suddenly felt like the world was in my chest, expanding around and compressing my heart. I felt her sigh, her lips parting against mine.

Deftly, I slipped my tongue past her lips, brushing it against hers lightly. Her taste filled my mouth, sweet and light, and a moan escaped me. She pressed her tongue up against mine, tangling them together. All I knew in that moment was her, the taste of her mouth, the feel of her hand as it traveled to my waist. I felt her fingers against my skin, sliding under my shirt.

I pulled away slightly, just enough to nibble at her lower lip and bring it between mine, pulling lightly. She inhaled sharply, fingers pressing into my skin. I touched my lips to hers a few more times before leaning back again.

A soft, barely audible whine escaped Tris as I leaned away. She pressed forward as if trying to follow me. My heart clenched and desire began swelling within me, her actions fanning the embers.

"Tris..." I breathed, almost groaned. If I kept kissing her, I wasn't sure I'd be able to stop. As much as I wanted to keep going with this, I didn't want to take advantage of her in a possibly vulnerable state.

"Tobias," she replied, slipping her hand up my back. I flinched slightly at her touch. Then she spoke again, a soft, "Please."

It took every ounce of willpower to not give in right then. A heavy sigh worked its way out of me, turning into a moan as I felt her nails digging into my skin. "Fuck," I whispered. "Tris. I...are you okay with this? I mean, you had a really-"

"Yes," she interrupted, scooting closer. "Please, Tobias." Her voice was soft but husky with desire.

I bit my lip, considering for only a brief moment. Then my lips were on hers again, hungrily. While the kiss before had been sweet, this one was dark and full of need. My hand slipped down to her shoulders, pulling her closer to me until her breasts were pressing against my chest. I nipped at her lower lip, my teeth closing around her flesh until I felt her gasp. As I sucked at her lip, she let out a soft moan. One of her hands came to rest on my chest, her fingers tightening against me.

I needed her near me, as close as we could be. My hands slipped around her hips, pulling her onto my lap. Feeling her weight against me, knowing she was so close to me, caused a surge of desire to sweep through me. I felt myself getting hard. A groan escaped me as she shifted, her hips sliding over mine as she moved around.

"Tris," I breathed, hands tightening around her. I rolled her hips against my growing bulge, needing the friction. She let out a soft whimper, her hands pressing into my shoulders and her head dropping back. I leaned forward, lips closing around her neck. My teeth dragged against her skin lightly, then I flicked my tongue against the spot to soothe it. Tris sighed breathily, nails digging into my shirt.

I let go of her and leaned back for a second, just long enough to pull my shirt off, lost in the moment. Her hands were hot against my skin, her nails causing a sharp but pleasurable pain as they sunk into my flesh once more. I hissed out a breath as she dragged her nails down my chest, leaving red trails behind.

"Fuck." That felt fucking good.

Tris seemed startled, pulling her hands away. I quickly grabbed them, pressing them against my shoulders once more. "It's okay," I murmured, leaning my head back for a moment.

Tris still looked unsure, her hands stationary on me. "Are you sure?" We were both looking at the fresh scratches on my chest, where she had marked me in such an unexpected and goddamned pleasurable way.

"Absolutely," I told her, placing my hands on her waist again.

She was hesitant, but let me kiss her again. She seemed to forget about her concern almost immediately, if the enthusiasm she showed in the kiss was any kind of indicator. Her movements were almost shy as she moved her hips just slightly against mine. I was fully hard under her now and there was no way she couldn't tell. Feeling her against me like this was blissful, but I still wanted more. I tightened my grip on her hips, pulling her tighter against me and rolling her hips for her. Then my hands slid back up to her waist, slipping under her shirt. I felt her muscles tighten as my fingers brushed against her sides, causing her to press hard against my cock. I groaned against our kiss.

Slowly, as if to ask permission, I started to slide her shirt up her body. I stopped when I reached the slight swell of her breasts then pulled away from her delectable lips. We were both breathing heavily, Tris's pupils blown wide with desire. She was small enough that our eyes were level even though she was sitting on top of me. That still put me close enough to her breasts, exactly where I wanted to be right now.

"Please?" I asked her, rubbing my thumbs along the bottom swell of her fabric-clad breasts. My chest was heaving under her hands, and not from a lack of air.

Tris nodded faintly and that was all I needed. I pulled her shirt over her head, her hair spilling back over her shoulders once more. While I'd seen her in a bathing suit, it was different seeing her in a bra. I wasted no time in tracing my fingers along the fabric where it met skin. Goosebumps rose on her flesh under my touch. I bit my lip, hard, taking my time to appreciate her in this moment.

When I looked up at her after a few moments, I saw a blush on her cheeks. I gave her a small smile before leaning forward, kissing the top of each mound of flesh. My thumbs swept over where her nipples would be beneath the fabric; I ached to touch her naked flesh.

Tris sucked in a breath, her chest rising under my mouth. Then I felt her bra loosen under my hands. In a moment, it was gone and I was thanking whatever deity happened to be smiling down on me. I was relieved and grateful that she wanted this as much as I did.

I didn't waste any time before lowering my head to her breasts again. I took one nipple into my mouth, my tongue swirling around it slowly. My hand cupped her other breast, gently rolling her nipple between my thumb and forefinger. Tris let out a soft moan, rolling her hips against mine once more. I groaned, eyes shutting as I sucked at her breast.

I couldn't believe this was fucking happening. How long had I wanted this? Entirely too fucking long. Almost since I'd met Tris, I'd wanted her. And now, here she was straddling me and her tits were in my face - my mouth - and I was in fucking heaven. Goddamn.

"T-Tobias," she whispered, voice cracking slightly. "Oh, my God." She let out another soft moan as I flicked the tip of my tongue against her nipple once more. As I started to swirl my tongue around her flesh, she breathed out a curse. " _Fuck_."

I could relate.

As I pulled away from her breast, I still sucked on her nipple until it popped out of my mouth. It was hard and raised, glistening from saliva, and goddamned beautiful.

"Fuck," I echoed, rubbing my thumb against it. She whimpered as I touched her sensitive flesh, teeth clamping over her lip. I went for her other breast, giving it a treatment similar to the other one. Tris's nails dug into my skin, harder than before, and slowly scratched down my chest again. I couldn't help myself as I bit her nipple, making an effort to be gentler than I wanted to be. My heart was pounding in my chest and my cock was throbbing, begging to be touched, to be free of my jeans.

Fuck. I wanted her. I wanted to be _in_ her.

"Goddamn it," I hissed as I pulled away from her breasts. In one swift movement, I shifted us, pinning Tris against the bed. Her skin felt so good against mine, her pert breasts pressing against me. I rubbed my hips against hers, trying to relieve some of the ache I felt.

Tris was looking up at me, eyes wide with the sudden change in position. She wore a slightly hesitant expression, like she was wondering how far this would go before one of us had to ask about the endgame.

I lowered my head to her neck, kissing down to her collarbones. One hand trailed down her body, fingertips light against her stomach. When I reached her jeans, I paused, fingers dipping just below her waistband. Slowly, I made my way up to her earlobe, nipping at it gently. Then I whispered, "Can I?" Fuck, I wanted her to say yes.

She was quiet, unmoving for a few moments. The only sound coming from her was her breathing. Her breasts were rising and falling slightly; I watched them, wanting to take them in my mouth once more.

Then she nodded, reaching down to undo the button and zipper herself. I slid my hand - my left one - into her jeans, rubbing her over her panties first. They were soft under my skin - and very wet. I groaned against her skin, kissing my way down to her breasts. I took one in my mouth again, sucking. It was possible I was leaving marks on her skin, but I didn't care. I wanted to leave marks on her, to claim her as mine.

As my fingers rubbed the hot, damp flesh through the fabric, Tris moaned softly, rolling her hips under my hand. "Goddamn it, Tobias, touch me," she demanded, her voice almost a whine.

I had to take a deep breath to calm myself. Hearing her owning her pleasure that way was unbelievably sexy. Plus, I had to mentally prepare myself for something that I'd wanted to do for so, so long.

Slowly, I slid my hand into her panties, feeling the smooth skin. Then I felt her folds, wet under my touch. I brushed my thumb against her clit and her body jerked in pleasure. Slowly, I slid one finger into her. My head swam with desire. I lifted my head to kiss her, capturing her lips against mine as I slid another finger into her, working it slowly past her folds.

She was tight around my fingers, tighter than I'd imagined in my all too frequent fantasies. I could hardly imagine what it would be like to slide my cock into her, slowly, inch by inch. A groan escaped me at the mere thought.

Tris was wiggling under me and it took me a moment to realize she was sliding her jeans down. That gave my hand more space but also made my cock throb harder in my pants. Fuck...did I have any condoms?

I pushed that thought forcibly to the side. I'd worry about that only if Tris made it explicitly clear that she wanted to take things further. Because taking her pants off while I was finger fucking her wasn't clear enough...

I focused again on what I was doing. My lips were trailing down her neck, kissing and biting gently. She was moaning softly as I slid my fingers in and out of her, curling them within her. My cock ached, throbbing with desire at the sounds she was making.

"Fu...fuck," she breathed, her head thrown back against the pillows. My teeth grazed over the exposed flesh, bringing another curse from her. I pressed my thumb against her clit, rubbing slow circles around it as I kept moving my fingers. "T-Tobias, I..." Her chest heaved as she struggled to speak. I sped up my fingers now, thrusting them in and out of her quickly, wishing I could have been doing that with my cock instead. My thumb was rubbing against her clit, bringing the most glorious sounds from her mouth.

And then she stiffened, her back arching slightly. Her jaw dropped, lips forming a silent 'o'. I felt her walls tighten around my fingers, pulsing as she fell over the edge. Then a moan escaped her, a sound I'd only ever imagined hearing. I kissed her, partly to quiet her but also because I wanted to feel her ecstasy. Then I felt her hands batting at mine and I reluctantly pulled my hand from her panties. My fingers were covered in her wetness. When I leaned on one arm, pulling away from the kiss, I brought my fingers to my lips, tasting her. Tris's eyes were on me, blushing as she watched. My eyes slid closed as I licked the taste of her off my fingers.

When I opened my eyes again, Tris was pursing her lips. Her arm was crossed over her breasts, hiding them from view. As dismayed as I felt at that, I understood the feeling. Then I realized that I was also shirtless. Shame filled me, though I wasn't sure she had seen yet. I tried to appear nonchalant as I handed her shirt to her first, then pulled mine over my head.

I wasn't ready to share that yet.

Tris was pulling her jeans back up when I looked at her again. She was blushing sweetly, her eyes darting to mine every few seconds. I relaxed, leaning down next to her and taking her hand in mine. Slowly, I brought it to my lips in an attempt to distract myself from the thoughts trying to ruin this moment.

"Um, are you...?" Tris asked, glancing vaguely down my body.

I wasn't hard anymore. That had gone away almost immediately when I'd realized my shirt was off. I shrugged at her concern, though. If she wanted to do something, I was sure I could get it back up quickly. "You don't have to," I told her. I knew she was asking about reciprocating. I would just take care of it in the shower if it came back.

I tried not to feel offended at the look of relief on her face. Again, I could understand; it was rare for anything sexual to be 'no strings attached'. I hadn't expected to get her off; it had simply happened in the heat of the moment between us. I didn't expect her to do the same for me out of obligation. Still, the look on her face hurt a little. Did she not want to do anything with me now? Had she actually seen and realized? I bit my lip.

"I mean," she murmured, looking at me awkwardly, "if you want me to, I will. I just...kind of want a shower, especially after...last night."

I shook my head. This made more sense. "It's okay, Tris," I told her truthfully. "I wouldn't argue, but you really don't have to."

She nodded again and just snuggled against me. It felt nice, comforting. I draped my arm across her waist, holding her close. I'd hold her for as long as she'd let me, content to have her in my arms.


End file.
